Friday, June 18, 2004

Josephine and I watched HP 3 last night. It's almost like a horror movie. Not for kids anymore. As a matter of fact, there was a child behind our seat who got scared and cried. It was too long. I can't really comment about the differences between the first two and this one. It ended at 12:30 am and I got home again at around 2:30am. Well, it was ok just for my Josephine.

Josephine informed me yesterday that she was able to finally solved the problem she has. That's a big relief. Though, it couldn't be reserved. Such an expensive learning. I she learned from it because it could really weaken any knees.



Thursday, June 17, 2004

binch writing

Just came out of a tiring leave. I was supposed to rest but I think I wasted it by watching tv and DVD. Plus the fact that I almost was not able to get the car out of the house. I needed to remove the front spoiler so I can drive it out of our garage. Lastly, I went home at almost 2am. So in effect, it was all the same. Except that I was able to see how the Lakers lost (don't want to elaborate further. i received several calls and sms just to inform me about this game. ridiculous!).

It was BLD's 19th foundation day. I am happy to be a part of a community. It is very helpful indeed and to see so many people in the community is a welcome sight for me. I mean, it just mean that we belong to a bigger family as we are striving and helping each other to be God's instruments.

With little more than five months it will be our wedding day. I am excited and can't wait. It is taking too long. But I am also concerned with the pace on how we are doing things. I am not sure if we are doing it right. Are we slow or just about right. I have to do something. I have to take a look at our plans and finances. I don't like this nagging feeling. I feel that I am being warned right now and we have to move. planning planning planning......


I signified my interest to explore a job opening here. I am just being open and let's see. May the Lord guide me all through out.

Thank goodness. Josephine was able to stop the bleeding in her salary. It was very very very costly but there is really nothing we can do anymore. At least, it is over. Finally.


The readings in the Bible for the past few days were all about enemies and forgiveness. I wonder why I've noticed this. Who are my enemies Lord? Who should I forgive?



Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Too much to say

Finally, I can write something here after days of disappearance. Im just doing fine with additional spices now. But I know I will be ok. Changes suck and pleasant all at the same time. It is quite confusing because of different emotions attached to it. No choice. Either accept the change and move on or be swallowed and linger with the overwhelming feeling. Is it really overwhelming? I think not. It is just my mind creating an exagerrated picture, trying to convince me that there are so many reasons for me to worry. It is 20% successful and 80% failure. I welcome change in my life. I guess it is just a matter of how to handle the emotions. Work with it or be burdened.

LAKERS 1-3 vs Pistons: Oh well. they've placed themselves in a pit. If they will be able to overcome this then they will earn a place in professional sports. Who knows.

Financially, I am challenged. How to create more money is one of the mysteries I am trying to uncover. I am not really satisfied with my pay. Not because it is small but it it's because it is something I can predict, project, compute easily. I want to have money outside my work. So far, I only managed to generate Php5,000.00. Pity me. Right now though, I am looking forward to close a deal. It has a future and hopefully I will be able to close it tonight. I hope I will.

Im still thinking of something. I don't know what it would be. Im sure if God is on my side, He will grant it. So, I better ask Him for guidance all throughout. Im sure He will one day give it. But as I've said it should be something that the Lord wants me to do. Otherwise, it wouldn't bloom.


The Singles Ministry will have its first outing ever. I'm heading the preparation and I am happy for the support. I hope it will push through. We officialy launch it last night. So far so good. We pegged Php20K for this event. Though, we project too that we will be able to lessen the cost. The launch was hilarous. hahaahahahaha. Let's see, what will it be next week.

I've been thinking.No, not exactly. Right now, I am open to see how it would be like to transfer to another group. This too shall need God's stamp. I will not move without Him agreeing. That's for sure.

I am not feeling well. Not that I have a fever or colds or cough. It just that I have difficulty breathing. It seems I need more air and it is hard to fill up my lungs. I've been like this since last week. I hate the feeling. Trying to catch my breathe. I need a rest. The last time I felt like this, I remember I just took a day off and slept the whole day. The following day I was ok. I hope I would be able to rest tomorrow.

I created a yahoogroup for international roaming. I have no idea where it will lead but for me it is a good idea for us to be able to see the lighter side of counterparts and to be able to discuss more other than the roaming business. Though,we could still discuss it there.

What can I say about the new people around me. I don't know what to say. Should I care? Honestly, I don't. The thing is I also have to consider how the others see me. Should I care? no, again. But I must maintain a low profile here and just wait for the proper time that I could be part of the main stream. That is if I ever want to. I would know as time goes by.

oooooooooooh. im starting to be sleepy again. I hate it really. I think I should take vitamins already.then let's see if it really has an effect on me.

He let him lived, that old man.
On the couch all day he sit still
Waiting for the sun to wave goodbye

His life is waiting nowhere to go
Life not that precious
Wounds that never heals
Horror of life past remain

He isn't here? just went back
What do you think?
Should he too disappear?
No.

But the son shouted inside
For all the memories that was never expressed
Anger swept in until the man is old
Now, the tide has turn.

Kill. or for the first this will be done
I do not want to see
He just waited when there is no more strength
He pulled the gun and let him rest.












Monday, June 07, 2004

Happily Defeated

Finally, I had my confession awhile ago and though it wasn't really hard but the absence of struggle made me delayed it for quite sometime. I am happy that God never gave up for me. He kept on reminding me to go and be cleansed. He never let my spirit rest until I surrender myself unto Him.

He did. He humbled me in a different way. I didn't suffer like encountering big problems or dilema, lost of something or someone, sadness depression or anything near these situations I mentioned. God just opened my eyes that there a lot of things in my life that I can not control. That if I allow Him to handle it, there will be peace within me. I realized that I've been avoiding a lot of things because yeah they overwhelmed me too much. I also thought that confession is just a matter of schedule. It isn't.

When I realised these things last week, it sparked something inside me and I felt lighter and I was more than willing to lift everything to God. It made sense.

Okay. One day at a time but I feel I am ready to move now. Not only that, it is having this motivation that wants me to go and lift my foot. My hands are actually full though I neglegted it for quite sometime.

Let me do what I want and what I should be doing. I am aware of it but I stalled. Let me finish them and handle them one at a time.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

You are wrong

Mark 12:27

That's what strucked me when I read the gospel for today. What is it? Is it an answer to a question I have not asked yet? Does it refer to how I lead my life? Or just a simple reminder since I postponed my confession for tomorrow.

I'm sorry Lord for my stubborn ways. I thank you for the grace of allowing me to read your word since it's truly something that I need and should do everyday. Your guidance I seek, Father.

What do I imagine how I should live my life? Just the everyday activities. Let me see how low or high my standard is and if what I am doing about it.


1. Prayer and meditation before sleeping.
2. Wake up 30 mins earlier than usual for my morning prayer.
3. 15-20min of exercise in the morning.
4. Visit the Blessed Sacrament before going to office.
5. Discipline in work by not surfing too much.
6. Ready plans/schedules for the day.
7. Good financial management.
8. Never hesitate to help someone
9. Help with sincerity
10. Read good books
11. Study languages, English, French and German
12. Attend prayer mtgs and Sunday masses
13. Pay in time and according to terms
14. Learn to motivate myself
15. Never be an arrogant person
16. Create friendships
17. Always include family in prayers
18. Allow God to make decisions for me

Hmmmmm......i will include points here next time. I just realized that I am not doing most of the things I listed and maybe that's the reason why I am somewhat bothered or feeling confused lately. Why? I don't know. There is nothing wrong with my life. No struggles or too much problem that could cripple me but somehow deep inside I know I am living a life the way I want it to be. I feel I have shortchanged myself a little bit but I want to end it before it totally lead to mediocrity and lukewarmness in my spiritual life. Everyday is important.

Yes, I am wrong. Let me see what will it be tomorrow.

Ciao






Tuesday, June 01, 2004

just nothing

Visiting other blog sites is like trekking the UNKNOWN. I am surpised at how many have came up with their own. Yeah, I know I am late here. My trip inside the cyber is quite interesting. There are a lot of good writers and they are dedicated to their on line journals. Me. I am a beginner. I don't know if the the few posts I made are enough to form the person that I am. I am not sure if I was able to develop the character or something like that. This is challenging. Make your reader visualize or create a mental image of who you are. It could be someone you are not (that's more difficult because you have to be consistent) or remain true to yourself. Me, I would just be myself as much as I want to show a different persona, nah, it is not me and I am not a writer myself.

It is been a month since I created this blog. I say, it helps but sometimes I am pressured to write something. That's because I have visited other's sites and I want to reach that level. But I am new.

Yes, if you are new, you have to be patient and maintain a low profile.

hmmmm...

Polo: Different Moods

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