Friday, March 30, 2007

A Father now and a child still

Not too long ago, I remember
I was a child too
While I have my share of joys of being one
There were also moments of insecurities
Feeling of being unwanted and unguided

I was shaped with different experiences of happiness and sadness
Today, I treasure them all regardless how it was then
I have felt different emotions, in different degrees and intensity
I had a hardtime managing them and sometimes I was swept
Into a rampaging waves of emotions
Too difficult to bear and understand

My past had shaped me into who I am now
But I am not tied to any of my past for I have learned to be free
I earned my wings when it was clipped for so many years of humility
Yeah, those were the years I almost gave up
God strengthen me. "the Lord is with me, like a Might Champion!

Life has just begun
I am no longer a child in the eyes of many
But in God's I am still
I do not mind the thought of the world
It isn't my concern anymore

I have child and it is now my time to be a Father
It has started the moment when I exchanged vows with my wife
Then became reality when Polo came to life
I will let it be. I will be a Father and a child

I will no longer forget the lessons of my years here oon earth
The truth is, the longer I age the more I see Jesus' face
The more there is about Him that I have to know
The more I will let him rule over me
He is my Father and I am his child

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Too tired to think

I am seeing stars and moon during the day. I average maybe 3 to 4 hours of sleep a day for the past 5 weeks. I lost I think five pounds (it took me months before to shed 5 pounds which I gained back after a month of merry making and now it's gone. yipee!!! five more to go! ). Physically, I am tired but I don't mind. There is joy in spending time with my growing boy.
As I metioned in my previous posts, I love looking at him and when he snuggles on my chest and sleep, wow! totally amazing. I wouldn't trade it to anything. No way!

Zombie, zombie, zombie...........

How I wish I am home now. Carrying Polo, singing, telling him story, conversing, and I do make "alaska" to him already. He seems to have music preference already. He calms down in some songs while some have no effect to him. But when he is hungry, no songs can stop him form crying. hahahahahaha.... That's my boy! He knows what he wants and focused on getting it.
Last night, I let him sleep on my chest while I watched Prison break 2. Awesome. You know feeling him breathing and squirming and feeling his heart beats are the joys of a new father. I'm sure a lot can relate to that.

I went to the grocery last night (again) and I really can't stop myself from buying diapers, baby wipes..etc., We now have packs and packs of diapers. I am trying to look for the best brand of diaper for Polo that is less costly. So far, we've been altering Pro Kids and EQ. Just around Php6.00 per piece. We haven't encountered any problem with them yet. Though, later on I will try the more expensive ones to see if there will be any difference. We wanted Pamper's Swaddlers which my mom gave to us. It was good for new born. Unfortunately, it isn't available here in the Philippines.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Gone are your small pair of socks












Our little Polo is growing up and getting heavier each day. Last night, we noticed that the socks he was wearing was too tight on his legs. Garter marks around his tiny ankles. His hands and feet are bigger and I guess he got that from the Agustin. Except me, almost everyone in the family has big hands and wide feet. :)

Polo opens his eyes longer than before looking around as if he is in deep thought. All along, he is just concentrating on how to poop. hahahahahaaha...My eyes would sometimes fixed on him and I can't still believe that here, I have a baby!!! Having Polo now in our lives, does help me to be more focused and somehow he was able to stir something within me to aim for more things. After all, I really hope I can provide him a good education maybe a La Sallian (like us.;) ) or maybe an Atenean education. Got to work hard for it and plan how many children we will have.

I love my wife more than I used to. I can't even imagine that it was actually possible to reach a new level in loving her. This love is something new. Wow. Sometimes I would look at them while they are sleeping and I can't help but be overwhelmed by emotion. Here is Josephine who was just an ordinary friend of mine 13 years ago. That friendship was nourished with time as it evolved into loving each other and exchanging "I do's" and now we have a handsome, adorable and charming child. I can see myself in little Polo physically but so far he got his mother's mannerism!

Sorry for the pictures. They were taken from our reliable 24/7 ready nokia phones. :)
It is confirmed! Polo will be baptized on Easter Sunday. Exactly forty days after he was born. Remember, it was Ash Wednesday?!! :) *sigh* how time flies! Josephine shares to me that sometimes she just want to freeze a moment so she can fully enjoy being with Polo. Even though, Polo is not giving her enough sleep, Josephine would prefer that he remains a little one. Me, on the other hand can't wait to hear his first laughter.... it will come very soon. :)
Thank you Lord for a wonderful gift!





Wednesday, March 21, 2007

1st Month of Polo

Here's where we had our first date as a family! Though, just breast milk for little Polo. He didn't mind. Also, was not yet aware that Toy Kingdom was just a floor away from him. : )

Hahahahaha..he looks like a doll. Now you see why he is adorable and charming. He got it from his mom whom we accompanied in the underwear section. hahahahahahahahaha.. not that cool.
Here's what you ordered Little Mister. He gulped it in less than 15 seconds but he was satisfied. Few times when I can feed him. Mommy is cheating. hehehehehehehehehe.


Polo before his spongebath at night. Startled? or focusing on something not quite friendly to our sense of smell. Poop machine!!! hahahahaha.. Though, Polo now is smiling more and Josephine was able to picture that moment but it is too small and I still have to download it to my computer?


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Today is Polo's first month! :) He isn't that fragile anymore and he eats a lot now. His cries' tunes have changed but they still the same thing. 1. hungry 2. dirty diapers and 3. need of comfort. He moves a lot and enjoy opening his eyes more than it was weeks ago.
How can you spoil an infant???? and who does not want to embrace a little child while he is still a child??? I will carry him and and place him on my chest and hug him and sing to him.. etc etc., the heck with the old sayings but now books, no doctors have agreed to this old saying. Anyway, when a boy learns how to walk, I am definitely sure that he would prefer to run around than being carried for a long time. They are like a "turompo" or a playing top. Spinning just about anywhere. I'm sure I was like that.

Last Sunday, we went to mass as a family. Then, Josephine needed to get something important in SMART and then we went to SM Makati to buy some stuff for Josephine and Polo. The stares varied from total amazement why on earth we brought this little child in a crowded place and some found little Polo very cute. Hmmmmm... well, we do not have a choice, we can not leave Polo alone in the house.








Polo was well behaved. I think he only cried twice. One, hungry and two, needed to change his diaper. He didn't cry while changing his diaper and didn't cry at all when he was awake. I'm sure he was surprised why there were a lot of noise around him. When we went home, Polo slept longer than usual before asking for milk. :) Good for Josephine!








Johnsons and Johnsons' baby wipes with no diaper rash is a fluke. We've been using Pigeon's and Pro Baby's and there was no rash then we tried J&J, grrrrrrrr... we weren't even able to use more than half of the wipes when Polo got rashes. Horrible! They shouldn't declare that because it isn't true. Yeah, it depends on individual baby's skin reaction. The more they shouldn't say that then.








Happy 1st month birthday to you, little Mr. Agustin! I love you.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Our little boy is three weeks old!

My favorite activity: Sleeping
"Hello, fans! Whew, it's hard to be an instant celeb!"

" Not too close, Dad. My girls might see us!"

"I love you, Mommy!"

Diapers, wipes, baby clothes, alcohol, wet cotton balls, bottles, etc etc etc., :) Happy to have them in our room. Our world is now revolving around our little Polo. Having him our lives right now is something beyond explaining.... :) It is like being in love for the first time. Overwhelming! There is so much love and it does fills up all the emptiness.


Polo is now 3 weeks old. Purely living on breastmilk. Praise God. We are aware that it is best for babies and at the same time helping us reduce cost somehow. Isn't he a blessing? He is so cute that it isn't hard for one not to blink whenever you look at him. He cries and still it is music on our ears. I mean his cry isn't irritating at all nor alarming. Polo is just communicating that he is hungry or requesting us to change his diapers.
I just my first camera (ever). A good one and my darling Josephine gave me a go signal. Hurray! I'm busy studying the different features and hopefully master them one day. Polo will be baptized on April 8 (hopefully) and so my camera will have its first major client. Now, who will volunteer to take pictures. I surely want to be part of the pictures and not the one taking pictures. Either Phipo or Arland will do it.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Amazing Love

"In Your hands is my destiny"-Psalm

How comforting it is to know that even if I am in a chaotic environment I still find my self surrounded with peace and love because of my family and good friends. Outside my protective shell, I see lies of all sorts, deception, greed and everything one can ever imagine. Of course, it is all mixed up with goodness. However, sometimes it is hard to distinguish what's truly black and what's white. You know what I mean. I am pressured, helpless in a sense and guilt would creep very slowly until I am consumed. Result??? Restlesness, fear, anxiety, anger etc., But something would rule over all of these unwanted negativite feelings. Grace from God. His love conquers all.

See. Usually, it would just take a minute or two whenever I feel the pressure of this world for me to realize how much I am loved. God takes away my blindness and allows me to see His plans for me. He isn't finished with me yet. Because His true mission is for us to see each other face to face in heaven. That's where my destiny is. True. So much is happening around and some of them are beyond my limited control and yet I feel God's assurance that everything will fall into its proper place in His time. As I wait, I will wait joyfully and grasp to my expectant faith to keep things in proper perspective.

Praise God. My wife and child are both healthy. I have a very cute boy Polo. Yes, the hospital's and doctor's bill were quite expensive but we have that amount of money for the welfare of Josephine and Polo. Nothing is lost. We are blessed financially I know because in spite of all the expenses we have, God have not fall short. We have food, clothe and shelter. He provides. I am sure as Polo get's older God's blessings will also pour like rain. This year is Jesus' year!

2007 is about blessings upon blessings. Trials will come for us to welcome more blessings. I love you Lord. Your promises are here and some are within my grasp. I will faithfully wait and continue to honor You with these blessings. I will not feel empty nor deprived because more than anything else Your love for us is already enough.


Every morning you stare blankly into nothingness
Maybe you have created a world within your mind
Where your heart has followed
Why live in pain and fear?

Do you really have to look far and find nothing there?
Do you really have to feel isolated and unwanted?
Why do you continue to soak yourself with tears of despair?
Why must you be in this kind world?

whisper. I love you.
Dont have to look but just listen to my words.
I love you. I whisper in your ears once again.
I love you.

I am your Father. I am here for you and I see you
Even the world you have carefully hidden from others I am there
Here, feel my arms covering you. I will keep you warm and secured

I feel your anguish my child
You are never alone. Never will be.
Come and join me to a place that I carefully built for you
In here, you will never be sad nor troubled

Follow me and let My love for you be your strength
My gifts are all over just pick them and they are yours
Do not be afraid for I am here
Always.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Here we go. The boat has sailed

My blog will be filled with my son's pictures for sure. No more room for posting my daily reflections. I will try to fix this up later. I'm sure I only need to add some blog application to make it more organized.

Anyway, here we are a week has passed by and that's how young Polo is and how long we've joined the parenthood club. Oh true, true all true. Those stories of not having enough sleep, diapers, diapers and diapers, breastfeeding bonding between Josephine and Polo (it is not that easy), changing of clothes, carrying him in our arms, bathing time etc etc., 24 hrs of watching over him. The best thing about it is that we don' t mind. I am not yet exhausted because I feel refresh everytime I see him and everytime I look at my wife carrying our baby. Too much love to be tired. I also understand that it is more physically demanding to Josephine since she is the only one who can feed Polo (almost every hour after the clock struck 12 midnight). I'm sure my smiles, reassurance and helping out are greatly needed. Ok. I do am willing to deny myself and I do not mind!

Thank you Lord for Polo and of course for Josephine!

Polo: Different Moods

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