I always find myself going inside a bookstore everytime I'm in mall. Not clothes, watches or accessories or shoes or gadgets but books triggers a strong positive feeling within me. It makes me feel alive and inspired (church of course provokes a more powerful feeling). The downside... It is addicting and I have to control myself from buying books (as if I can really do that). I made a pack that I will not buy it unless I finish what I am currently reading. Right now, I'm reading two books, the success principles and parenting by grace. Good books.
I like to read though I cant claim yet that I am a book worm or even a good reader.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Yes, Lux im still here with Phil.
I never questioned whether I made the right decision or not. I knew and still believe it is. Everything that is happening now is for its fulfillment. It is really just not that easy waiting especially now the Im out of job and financial worries start to creep in. I dont worry if I will have the job or not. Again, it is the waiting that is making me feel crazy.... We've prayed every single step and followed instructions. So, I know we are just doing fine but I never imagined that waiting could this be tormenting. Everything happens for a reason and here I am immersed totally in this moment of unending thinking. What good came out in this stage.
1. 100% Polo. i think this will be the only time of my life I will be able to enjoy every waking moment and doing activities with and for Polo. Having breakfast with him. Playing and watching tv. Having lunch. Bathing him. Being there when he wakes up and calling my name. Singing and dancing. Going out to parks and playgrounds. Talking with him as if he is already a big boy. Of course, receiving his kisses, hugs and most of all hearing him say that he loves me. Seeing him smile, laugh and even cry. Hearing his funny uncomprehensible stories... And so much much more.
Before I resigned, I think this was on top of my mind. To establish that connection with my first son before we embark to the greatest adventure of our your young family life. By default, he is already that close to his mother and Im sure once we are in Luxembourg their relationship will be nourished more. So I still have to secure him of his place in my life and not leave time to tell him how much he means to me. Yes, it will go on wherever we are but I want to start it right, right now. See, somehow I got to know him better. He already has his own personality and I'm happy that he can already say what he wants and whatt doesn't interest him. Simple things but meaningful. He knows when he wants to do things his way or when he needs helps. Im proud of him.
His Yaya just had 3 wks of vacation, which gave me exclusive time to attend to all his needs. How happy I am that I can bring him to the mall without anyone. It is possible and achievable and rewarding! Father and son time. One of my visions before. And when the other kid comes out, I will find time to spend alone with him or her. I will let him/her know special he/she is to me. My two kids and a beautiful, kind, intelligent wife. Blessing indeed.
2. No Helper means I had to do some house duties.
I think my training in helping out during my growing up years helped me to be sensitive and accept the fact that I have to be a part of the working crew. No sweat. Mopping the floor, washing the dishes, ironing (polo's) clothes, cooking, sweeping, waking up for the garbage truck, running errands, etc., I think these are not too much and considering that this duty is just temporary. A humbling experience and funny that sometimes it triggers negative and unwanted emotions, which is still good since I had time to reflect why I was feeling that way.
Jopay's Mom's world revolve around these everyday for so many years already. It ain't easy. Or maybe because I'm not used to it. Maybe. But I've learned to appreciate and respect what she has done. Sometimes we tend to forget their roles that when we get home we expect to get this and that, eat this or that, we justify that we are tired and deserve some relaxing time BUT being at home and actively making sure that everything is clean and we have warm food to eat are not easy man. It is also tiring and stressful at times.
We will be in Europe. A western country where you do things on your own. Rich and poor alike. Unless, you are willing to pay for a price. Asians are accustomed to having helpers around. There is merit but at the same time, it deprives you of some basic lessons and skills. First, if they can do it, why can't we? A chance to teach kids to help in the house and do not grow up feeling privileged or too entitled.
I guess this is a refresher course for me then. Getting ready specially that Josephine is pregnant.
3. No work related stress.
Wow! No revenue to think about. No plans or goals, no customer complaints, no meetings, no bosses, no gossips or politics.... Of course, I will have to deal with these things very soon but for now, I am happy that I do not need to think too corporate. Rest. Simplifying my life. I'm happy too that I have not gained weight so far. I plan to lose at least 10lbs more starting tomorrow. I have been eating oatmeal and I hope I'm getting something good about it because it really taste awful. I've learned not to eat too much and my body isn't craving for anything except coffee. That is an exception. I'm healthy. I do want to be healthy and be with my children physically in their activities. I do not need to be awake early in the morning just to finish a rush report or analysis. I do not need to deal with people I dont like to work with. Just for now, later on, I will be ready with a smile.
4. Time for myself.
I thought I will have control of my time when January came. Our helper took a VL so there you go. I didnt want to be selfish but I just let myself be part of a family. Though, I had tome to read books, reflect and sometimes go out like right now but to be honest I miss my son. I will still choose to be with him. I just needed to do something and also grab this opportunity to spend some time with my wife. A date.
I need to have this time to reflect and plan. i will do just that.
Got to go
1. 100% Polo. i think this will be the only time of my life I will be able to enjoy every waking moment and doing activities with and for Polo. Having breakfast with him. Playing and watching tv. Having lunch. Bathing him. Being there when he wakes up and calling my name. Singing and dancing. Going out to parks and playgrounds. Talking with him as if he is already a big boy. Of course, receiving his kisses, hugs and most of all hearing him say that he loves me. Seeing him smile, laugh and even cry. Hearing his funny uncomprehensible stories... And so much much more.
Before I resigned, I think this was on top of my mind. To establish that connection with my first son before we embark to the greatest adventure of our your young family life. By default, he is already that close to his mother and Im sure once we are in Luxembourg their relationship will be nourished more. So I still have to secure him of his place in my life and not leave time to tell him how much he means to me. Yes, it will go on wherever we are but I want to start it right, right now. See, somehow I got to know him better. He already has his own personality and I'm happy that he can already say what he wants and whatt doesn't interest him. Simple things but meaningful. He knows when he wants to do things his way or when he needs helps. Im proud of him.
His Yaya just had 3 wks of vacation, which gave me exclusive time to attend to all his needs. How happy I am that I can bring him to the mall without anyone. It is possible and achievable and rewarding! Father and son time. One of my visions before. And when the other kid comes out, I will find time to spend alone with him or her. I will let him/her know special he/she is to me. My two kids and a beautiful, kind, intelligent wife. Blessing indeed.
2. No Helper means I had to do some house duties.
I think my training in helping out during my growing up years helped me to be sensitive and accept the fact that I have to be a part of the working crew. No sweat. Mopping the floor, washing the dishes, ironing (polo's) clothes, cooking, sweeping, waking up for the garbage truck, running errands, etc., I think these are not too much and considering that this duty is just temporary. A humbling experience and funny that sometimes it triggers negative and unwanted emotions, which is still good since I had time to reflect why I was feeling that way.
Jopay's Mom's world revolve around these everyday for so many years already. It ain't easy. Or maybe because I'm not used to it. Maybe. But I've learned to appreciate and respect what she has done. Sometimes we tend to forget their roles that when we get home we expect to get this and that, eat this or that, we justify that we are tired and deserve some relaxing time BUT being at home and actively making sure that everything is clean and we have warm food to eat are not easy man. It is also tiring and stressful at times.
We will be in Europe. A western country where you do things on your own. Rich and poor alike. Unless, you are willing to pay for a price. Asians are accustomed to having helpers around. There is merit but at the same time, it deprives you of some basic lessons and skills. First, if they can do it, why can't we? A chance to teach kids to help in the house and do not grow up feeling privileged or too entitled.
I guess this is a refresher course for me then. Getting ready specially that Josephine is pregnant.
3. No work related stress.
Wow! No revenue to think about. No plans or goals, no customer complaints, no meetings, no bosses, no gossips or politics.... Of course, I will have to deal with these things very soon but for now, I am happy that I do not need to think too corporate. Rest. Simplifying my life. I'm happy too that I have not gained weight so far. I plan to lose at least 10lbs more starting tomorrow. I have been eating oatmeal and I hope I'm getting something good about it because it really taste awful. I've learned not to eat too much and my body isn't craving for anything except coffee. That is an exception. I'm healthy. I do want to be healthy and be with my children physically in their activities. I do not need to be awake early in the morning just to finish a rush report or analysis. I do not need to deal with people I dont like to work with. Just for now, later on, I will be ready with a smile.
4. Time for myself.
I thought I will have control of my time when January came. Our helper took a VL so there you go. I didnt want to be selfish but I just let myself be part of a family. Though, I had tome to read books, reflect and sometimes go out like right now but to be honest I miss my son. I will still choose to be with him. I just needed to do something and also grab this opportunity to spend some time with my wife. A date.
I need to have this time to reflect and plan. i will do just that.
Got to go
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
scaredy cat
There are so many twists in every turn. Im exhausted mentally and emotionally. Whew! Whew! Whew! In the name of pursuing a dream. You have to bleed and be tormented for awhile. It is quite a challenge and really difficult to manage. The process is long... Very long. Stay positive and keep the faith alive. That's all I can do for now. Fight. Fight. Fight. Yeah, giving up is always a thought that keeps only knocking on my door. But can I, really?
I have trusted God long enough and it will also be the same in this case. I will obey. Yes, Lord I am here. I will follow and simply obey. Go go go. My concerns and worries.. Take it Lord! We are in this together!
I have trusted God long enough and it will also be the same in this case. I will obey. Yes, Lord I am here. I will follow and simply obey. Go go go. My concerns and worries.. Take it Lord! We are in this together!
Friday, January 01, 2010
2010. A different beginning!
Thank you 2009. It was challenging and we will take everything in it. Except the resentments, regrets, frustrations, failures, pains and everything that we will not need. Goodbye!
It's a new year and literally new for me. For us. For our little family. I will let excitement to slowly get out of the bag to help me battle any negative thoughts or other similar concerns. Be excited!
I wish to know and learn so many things in life. I am excited that I will be outside of my world and the adventures of my life will begin. Same goes with Josephine. We approach the horizon with great anticipation with eyes wide open. We become students of life once again. The whole world is our classroom. No time to define our limits but we are here to let our imagination conquer what our mind can think of.
It will be our first time to be alone as a family. To run a household by ourselves. To look after each other. To create a home and not just a house. A time to let our taste come out. Our personalities will be the main colors of our lives. We can try now and be free entirely of who we want to be and what we want to be. We can shape our future by our decisions. The right ones and even the mistakes we might make. Entirely our own. Independence. Interdependence. The Great Life. And then we still have families spread across different continents. But the best of all, WE HAVE JESUS WITH US WHERE EVER WE WILL GO. That's His promise that will not be broken for generations to come. In Him, we find our strength and courage.
Where will we begin? We start by praising our God and we ask the He will reveal to us His plans for us. Life is truly amazing. I am not afraid and I will move forward. New year. My eyes will open to a tomorrow of a different light. I will smile. I will kiss my wife. I will kiss my son. I will kiss our baby in the womb. I breathe and smile back to the Giver.
It's a new year and literally new for me. For us. For our little family. I will let excitement to slowly get out of the bag to help me battle any negative thoughts or other similar concerns. Be excited!
I wish to know and learn so many things in life. I am excited that I will be outside of my world and the adventures of my life will begin. Same goes with Josephine. We approach the horizon with great anticipation with eyes wide open. We become students of life once again. The whole world is our classroom. No time to define our limits but we are here to let our imagination conquer what our mind can think of.
It will be our first time to be alone as a family. To run a household by ourselves. To look after each other. To create a home and not just a house. A time to let our taste come out. Our personalities will be the main colors of our lives. We can try now and be free entirely of who we want to be and what we want to be. We can shape our future by our decisions. The right ones and even the mistakes we might make. Entirely our own. Independence. Interdependence. The Great Life. And then we still have families spread across different continents. But the best of all, WE HAVE JESUS WITH US WHERE EVER WE WILL GO. That's His promise that will not be broken for generations to come. In Him, we find our strength and courage.
Where will we begin? We start by praising our God and we ask the He will reveal to us His plans for us. Life is truly amazing. I am not afraid and I will move forward. New year. My eyes will open to a tomorrow of a different light. I will smile. I will kiss my wife. I will kiss my son. I will kiss our baby in the womb. I breathe and smile back to the Giver.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Polo: Different Moods
Come. Celebrate life with us. Let's worship God!
