Juan Paolo Andre

Here are some of Juan Paolo Andre M. Agustin's (or Polo for short) first pictures

4D Ultra sound at 7 months

He looks like an angel to me! :)

Awwww..look at him feeling safe in his mother's arm! :)

.......more picture soon

A Short one

"If you can! Everything is possible to one who has faith!" MK9: 14-29


We are done with all the shopping for our son's arrival. Everything is in order and we are just patiently waiting for Juan Paolo Andre to spring out to this world. The grandparents from both sides are full of excitement. Boxes will arrive from US and it mostly has his things in it. Our room now is already filled with Polo's stuff. Thanks to my in-laws, Polo has his own place in the room already. A wooden-white crib! : ). Jopay and I assembled it last Saturday night. Our friends from Smart on the other hand gave Polo his own car (stroller). Great! He has his own cabinet since his clothes are already pushing my clothes out of our cabinet. Ok, Polo. You may come now! :)

I breathe in the goodness of this world
As I breathe out the things of past
Renew my heart today, Lord
Strenghten my spirit

Amen

Poem or letter

You are always in my mind
Not a single day that I have not thought of you
Every where I look I place a mental image of you
To see you, would bring much joy to all of us

I read to you three different magical stories last night
I knew you were listening as I felt your kick in your Mommy's womb
After our story telling, I spent an hour or so
Imagining the things we are going to do

I filled in the gaps but I know later on
You will be part of the decision making
I guess I will enjoy everything while you are still a child
A time will come when I have to let go of you

That will be, hmmmm maybe the middle chapter already
I will not jump into that yet
Today and while you are still a child
We will do things together

In the later part of your childhood I hope to guide you
I hope impart to you wisdom and help you
I wish you to be independent and later on interdependent
Then you are ready to go into this world

There are just two important lessons in life
that I wish you will take with you as grow up

One. To love and honor God with all of you heart, soul and mind
Allow Him to be your true Father
I wish that you will establish a personal relationship with him
and feel His comforting life to surround you.

Two. My child, love your mother. Never miss a day without letting her know
How much you love her and how much you appreciate her. Let her know how beautiful she is
Not only from the outside but in the inside as well. Take care of her until she grows old and weary. I'm telling you. She is not difficult to love. It is so easy. Just look at her and you will see what I mean.

Life they say is too short. I guess it is
So, when you come on board.
We will have fun and enjoy this life
We will make beautiful memories together.

I love you.

I am Sick

I am sick since yesterday and I shouldn't be sick. I have to be strong and healthy especially in the days to come. I have a flu. It is really hard when the weather is so hot then suddenly be in a room that is so cold. I just felt getting sick the other night. It isn't a full blown sickeness since I'm hoping that I will be cured by the meds that I am having now. Though, I think rest is still the best remedy of all. I have to rest. It is useless to work feeling this way. No energy.

Chili, our fish I think is dead. I saw her aquarium empty this morning, without water. :( The thing is, no one has yet informed us whatever happens to our little fish. She lived a long life. Several people told me before that fish like that will only last for just a few months. She lived for more than a year. Well, I knew that she has changed from a bright colored fish (that's why she is Chili) to a white one. She has done her purpose in our lives. Her presence helped us relax after a tiring day. The children loved looking at her and later on she became part of the sala. A bigger, wider world for her! Wher ever you are Chili, thank you so much for your stay! :) We are happy to have had you in our life. Too bad, our son Polo wasn't able to see you anymore. Maybe another fish will come!

Josephine and I went to the cemetery last Saturday to visit my grandfather, Papang. It took myabe ten minutest before I was able to find his tombstone. He died when I was still young but I can remember being in his boat! Yup, he is a Captain! I introduced our little one to this great man. Polo is named after two great men. One a Captain (my lolo) and the other one a Principled Lawyer (Josephine's lolo). If one day Polo asks us why he was named Paolo and Andre then we can proudly explain to him where his names (he will have three names) came from. I do hope that he will be able to live a life like his great grandfathers! I was just surprised to find out though that my father (Igmidio) was named after his grandfather (Emihio). My dad became Igmidio because of his gradeschool teacher but it his birth certificate it was Emihio. Imagine, I continued something that I wasn't aware of.

just some notes:

1. TK, thanks for your comments. How lovely are the ladies in your life! I have shared your blog to my wife and we both agreed that they are indeed little cute Princesses! May God continue to shower you with His blessings!

2. Tin - his name will be, Juan Paolo Andre M. Agustin and the number 7? :) it happened last Friday. It is promising so please pray for us and someday I can freely share it with you. Basta, I was very happy after it happened and now I have to wait.

3. Pia - ey, Amori is now a starbucks baby? :) how cute!

4. Others: my other readers from the different parts of this world. Please feel free to drop a comment or two. :)

thank you all!

Ephphata! (Be Opened)

That was part of the gospel reading (Mk 7:31-37) that struck me. Jesus cured a deaf man by saying ephphata! The gospels lately were all about healing. It is a good time to pray for others who are sick. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. For sure, His mercy will be given to those who seek and believed. Have faith my friends! Seek the healer just like the mother of a dead girl, or the woman who was bleeding for years. Jesus performed miracles to all of them. Even to the Gentiles.

I chased the wind to all corners of the world
I followed the waves until it disappear in the shore
I counted the stars only to find more
Nothing worth pursuing

Unless
You stand on your own
Define your heart's desire
Align yourself to God's plan for you
Follow Him follow Him

Our hearts belong to God
It knows His voice
A voice full of hope and compassion
Set your heart free

Then bow to your knees at the end of the day
In humility, give back to God the glory
Accept in open arms His guidance
and rest in His arms

Two weeks and six days

If you've been following my stork updates, you will notice that the little Pilot is nearing its destination, "Welcome to your life". I can't wait to hold you in my arms. To spend sleepless nights with you. I really, really, really won't mind. For me as early as now, I see it as my an opportunity to be close to my son. A time to get to know him and to imprint in my mind his little face and create every situation into beautiful memories. I'm lucky I have this blog because later on, he will be able to read our story. I can imagine myself feeding him while I watch over him or simply watching tv or playing PS2. Whatever. It will be a grand time for both of us. I promise you that Little Mr. Agustin!

I'm exited with so many things unfolding before my eyes. And, it is just February! Truly, God is in our midst. He is here. February has so many events to attend to. I think I mentioned it before but I want to repeat it. 1. Jaz's bday. 2. Lunch with family (Agustin and Mara) 3. End of Pre natal class. 4. Baves' wedding 5. Ethan's first birthday 6. Of course, a chance that Mr. Polo will be delivered this month. 7. An --------- from a dream ---! :) Go figure it out.

Then March will come. Hmmmm.. I will just wait for March to come before I say anything about it. We are so busy this Feb that I should just keep my focus here in the present moment.

I have a question. Is coffee really good for your body? Or, is it bad? I am a coffee drinker. Three full mugs a day. I think it is good but I realized that I might be getting addicted to caffeine. I dont want that! I decided not to drink anymore coffee before sleeping (it has no effect on my sleeping). I will lessen my coffee intake. Promise. Like when I gave up drinking softdrinks. At first it was really difficult because I long for it. Now, I am not sure what part of my brain just decided to boycott softdrink drinking. I don't look for it anymore.

Simple Day

I silence my heart today
Let myself be quiet even for just a while
It is in this moment when I hear You clearly

Not only in the night when I usually call You
Not when the lights are out
But right now, I want You to be with me

Work with me. Coach me. Lead me.
I bring You here and allow You to be near me
Let Your wisdom overcome my arrogance
Humble me and teach me patience

I am comforted with Your presence
It makes me more confident, knowing I will never go wrong
I only have to follow You
My Lord, My God

The little boy is near

"Few more weeks to go, Mom". Finally, our little child will be out of your tummy. I'm sure carrying him for more than nine months brought so much change in you. Physical and emotional. What a sacrifice you have done to bear our child. You never have been or will ever be categorized as a difficult pregnant woman. Nope. I never experienced any extra ordinary requests that required extra ordinary effort from me nor from anyone.

The long wait is about to end and your sacrifice will be forever appreciated and remembered especially by me. I will live as a father teaching our son (or children) to love you and respect you forever. You will always have a special place in our hearts.

When the day of the delivery comes, I will just be on your side. To give you the support more than I have ever given you. It will be all about you and our son. I will take care of you guys as I ought to do. I am not afraid to enter this fatherhood because I know I am guided by our Father above. I am ready.

The countdown has begun and as the days pass by I am but all excited. I am thrilled to imagine how our little room will be in chaos, full of baby clothes, bottles, crib etc etc., I am happy to live in such chaos. I'm sure it will not bring the grouchiness in me but instead just pure joy. Something I have never experienced before. I am also excited to hear our son's first cry and laughter, giggles. Yeah, I can't wait to see him.

I love you my dear Josephine and thank you so much for bearing our child.

Relaxation technique by Josephine

January is over. Good bye! I kept myself busy but maybe not enough. Or maybe it was. There were times that I have so many concerns inside my head. If you split my brain into two, there you will see all the things that beg for my attention. There was a time when I asked Josephine what she was thinking because she was just staring blankly. I was intringue to know of course. It could be a problem or something. She said, "Nothing". Can that be possible??? (Nope, we weren't fighting or had an argument before the blank stares). I asked more and probe what exactly was she thinking. Still she said nothing. She wasn't thinking of anything at all. I can't believe it. If I stop talking and be quiet, most probably I would spend it thinking of something. What I have done so far in that day, my plans, concerns, funny things, what kept me busy, basketball games, politics, problems of the world... etc etc., in other words I have so many uncessary "thought issues" that are sometimes unnecessary. Yeah, it is good to know but sometimes I must learn not to entertain such thoughts. Live for the moment.

Anyway, going back to my wife. Ok, what was Josephine thinking at that moment? She shared to me her thought at last. She said that she is glad that she is home on a soft bed resting and it feels good to by just lying and relaxing. Not having to think of anything important but to rest. Whoa. whoa. whoa whoa.... I never did that ever! Whenever I am about to sleep I think of...you know the story.. so that's the reason why my wife can sleep peacefully in a jeepy. Imagine I learned something simple and yet so important. I felt sad that all throughout my life, that's not how I sleep. I should learn to relax then.

I'm happy that my YM is back. I can chat with my sister, Mariel once again. Almost five long years since I've last seen her. She is now 14 yrs old. Good thing is allowed to use the internet and I have access in the office too. Hmmmm... I feel that she is doing fine. She has straight A's. I haven't heard any complaints from our parents. Unlike me when I was still young.. hahhahahahaahahhahaha.. I was there headache. But I want to believe that I turned out ok eventually. :)

Time to end it. Thank you, Lord for January and I love everything that I learned during that month and I welcome February. There is so much to look for this month. Feb. 2 will be our 8 yr anniversary as bf/gf. The day when we both gave our commitment to one another. Feb. 7 is Princess' birthday and how time flies. She's an adult now. Feb. 14 is Valentines day. And Who knows, maybe this month Polo will arrive. :)

Why, why and why

"Let us rid ourselves of ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus"- Heb 12:1-4

Sometimes I feel like exploding. Like.... right now. You know, just to let go of this anger or emotion that that want to rule over me. I am patient and remains subdued. How long should I wait??? Or keep to myself?? Me, a diplomatic and respectful citizen of this world. Mahirap, because sometimes I just brush it aside and forget all about it. The thing is when it happens, I know that this feeling is getting bigger. A monster within me.

What's wrong? I resent somethings but I am not willing to share it publicly so here it goes my expression in another language.

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whew!! that feels great!! nope, dont try to dicepher because i just randomly stroke the keys so there is no way anyone can really intrepret this. it will not make any sense. I know it's substance but if wil let me translate it, it would be impossible. Later on, I might not even remember what this is all about. :)

Basta, I feel better and I said my piece with respect. :)

Weekend Tidbits

Josephine's surprise baby shower (Saturday)
Pia/Tin, you should've been there! : ). She cried! hehehehe

I guess that must be my first successful "surprise" for Josephine. It was darn hard to keep it to myself and I got nervous each passing day before the shower event. Because, I have the tendecy to give clues to Josephine and I can't because she will be able to connect all my weird behavior. She didn't!! hahahahaa and she thought it was Tyronne's bday celebration! Then lo and behold, our friends were there to surprise her. : )

The guests were: Chi and Dandy, Mian, Corr, Dodie, Abbie, Eloy, Jojo B., Puchete, Rad, Baby Isabela (here two Yaya's) and of course the Mara and Tan's. Thanks to the organizers! Joane and Princess! :) Good good.

Now, my little boy needs his own cabinet! He has a lot of stuff already and it is occupying a lot of space in our cabinet. I'm sure my clothes will be the first to go. hehehehe. Josephine has already started making patches for our baby's clothes. Of course, she will not be able to needle all of his name in one small patch or even his little clothe! :) He has afterall a long name.

Pre natal class (Sunday)

Three more weeks to go and we will graduate! hehehehe. I was teasing Josephine, what if you give birth before we can even finish this class? Are we going to fail? No WAY!!! :) I will attend the class still and I am sure that they will find it strange that my pregnant wife isn't with me. hahahaha.. But I want to finish it. ( I wish I have the same attitude when I was still studying! )

Imagine, Josephine will be in her 36th week tomorrow! Whoa............Whoa...........whoa........ It means, she can give birth anytime now! How we wish we can predict when! But that would certainly ruin all the action and drama and comedy of the whole thing! :) I like the class because aside from learning and understanding a lot about pregnancy, I can feel this certain confidence that we will just do fine. It is like we are prepared mentally and emotionally but of course I understand that I can not really compare it to the real thing.

Yesterday, I saw a father and a son. What caught my attention was how youg the boy is. Maybe he is around 9-10 years old while his father is already in his 40s. Me? When my first born is 10 years old then I will also be in my 40s. hahahahaha.. same thing. "Go son, get the ball while I wait for you here (resting)!"Oh, darn he isn't tired yet!" " Let's play ball, first to five (5) only!". "Why don't we just play chess" Oh, Wow! Chess will be our sport then! hahahahahaha....

On a deeper level, I realized that if the average life span of Filipinos (male) is let's say around 65 years old then I have reached half of my life already! Whew! What a race this life is! First of all, I am happy how I turned out to be (so far..: ) ). Maybe not in the standard of the human eyes but just my own eyes. It isn't perfect but I know beyond all of this, God loves me! That's it! For the first half of my life, I know and I have felt God's presence in my life. It dawned on me, that really there is no sense to fool around in one's life. Life is just too short. There shouldn't also be no rooms for anger and unforgiveness because it could really waste a lot of good opportunities.

Anyway, I guess it is time to get busy with my second half of my dear life.

To know Christ more and more for the next 3o+ years of my life
To be a faithful and loving husband to Josephine
To be a good example to my children by being a Christian father to them
To do my best to serve my commnunity/country in what ever way I can (no pressure..: ) )

"Those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance" from Heb 9:15,24-28

Rule in the Midst of Your Enemies

"Rule in the midst of your enemy" -Psalm

Strong, bold and direct divine instruction! But it had me thinking for a few thought seconds. God, I do not really have identified enemies. Do I have any? Hmmm... let me look around here. Who are my enemies and I will rule over them. hahahahaha. Okay, I didn't need to wander around looking for enemies or creating one. I realized that "enemies" can be viewed as the things that hinder me to praise Jesus. Things that I do habitually which separate me from God.

It struck me that this is harder. My own is enemy is myself. : (. Ok, I am not yet physically hurting myself just yet. No need for any straight jacket. After awhile, I did see my "internal enemies". God sees them too and they are my weaknesses and yet Jesus said "RULE IN THE MIDST OF YOUR ENEMY". He didn't say that "rule your enemy".

I admit Lord my weaknesses. Those that I am aware of and those maybe I haven't realized just yet. But Jesus, Your trust in me push me to focus on what lies ahead. The banner says, "Jesus' Year!". I will not look forward to serve my King. Jump over those bad habits, climb over those sins, swim across the turbulent emotions. No, not these can stop me from knowing this year. I dedicate this year to you Lord, every month, every week, every day! I persist and thrust myself to Your loving arms everyday! I am not afraid because I know I will not fail. I see you now and I know I will still see you at the end. I believe in my heart that you will open my eyes. You will give me a wider horizon, a clearer view of who You are.

Lord, let me praise you everyday. In everything I do let it always be for Your greater glory and nothing else.

Amen.

Waiting for Polo

Oh, we saw our little kiddo. Shy or annoyed at first (he was covering his face with his two arms) and the Doctor even discouraged us to have the 4D. But NO!!! We waited several months and we had several discussions until we decided to have this 4D.

The doctor showed to us what Polo was doing and we were a bit sad because we can not see his face then the doctore told us that Josephine can try walking for five minutes and see if he will move his arms. I was the timer and it was more than five minute of walking (hehehehehe).. The technician checked our little boy. Half successful! One arm was still covering his face. The technician then shook Josephine's tummy and asked her to cough. After several attempts, there he was. sleeping. like a........ baby. :) They said he looked like me. Oh no, not another Marvin in this world!! hehehehe. He was mostly pouting and frowning but we managed to see a simple smile from my son. Yipee...:) Priceless!!! (good thing I have my Visa citibank card.. hahahahaha). I will not post his alien-look picture just yet. We will wait when he is out of the tunnel. :)

Another whew, we are attending pre-natal classes and there are four more early Sundays to go. Informative yup and it is also nice to hear other's experiences while the women are pregnant and also to see my fellow males supporting their wives. Though, it made me think about others especially those who do not have access to these programs. Four more weeks to go and we will have a certificate and by that time I hope I will be more ready to be part of the whole labor and delivery activities. Not just someone who is waiting.

My lola is here and so does my cousin who has been living in US for quite a while. It was the first time that she met Josephine. My first time to see little Adam. On Friday, my brother in law will arrive as well and it will be the first time that Mamang and Dandy will see each other. Feel good about everything. My cousin, Ate May was able to read our contribution in Didache. Cool. :)

My Citibank

Yes, I got my citibank card after weeks and weeks of waiting. The funny thing is, I got it the day I published my previous post. Too late but still appreciated. I asked some simple questions to the messanger who delivered my card.

1. Was it hard to look for me that you have to dial my local several times? Answer: No, Sir.
2. Did I make you wait? Answer: No, Sir.
3. How many times did you try to deliver this card to me? Answer: Just today, Sir.
4. Weren't you the one who attempted to deliver it to me before? Answer: No, Sir.
5. Do you belong to the same courrier/company? Answer: No, Sir.

I rest my case your honor. I told you I like citibank and there is a certain feeling of being a citibank cardholder. I do even appreciate the reminders from their collection dept when I am about to be deliquent (because I do not receive my bills on time. OK, now I am more conscious of my billing cycle unlike before when I just wait and pay.but Man, it costs me so much).

However, when it is time to replace my card..whoa whoa whoa... I hope I wont lose my card, break it, or receive another upgrade... my card will expire on 2009... whew!!!! It was really a night mare..night mare..night mare.... I was able to use my card the following day until yesterday and I even used it to pay for our elec bills.... I forgive my citibank.. but I will not forget this experience..

CITIBANK CARD: MY FIRST HEADACHE in 2007

During the latter part of November 2006, I received a phone call from a very excited and pleasant Citibanker. He was happy to inform me that I was qualified to be upgraded from a silver card holder to a Gold card holder! I (and my little, simple joys ) was delighted of this news even if I do not really know or care to know the differences between the two. Well, for me I already have a credit card and that's about it. Even with so many horror stories about having one. Of course, during the early part of my life I also struggled maintaining one. What's with high credit limit but just earning minimum.

Anyway, going back to my new upgraded citibank gold card. I agreed to be upgraded but as early as that first call I carefully explained my sad experience with new cards particularly in receiving them so I gave the person instructions and expressed my concern that I do not want to wait too long to receive my new card. The citibanker guaranteed me, promised me, assured heaven and earth that card will be at most be delivered in two weeks. Ok. fine with me. At least that will be just in time for Christas shopping. The only time in the year when one is authorized to shop and shop (with my wife) and I plan to charge them all to my credit card to earn points since I just received citibank's holiday rewards brochure. I was motivated.

Then after two weeks, I called to follow up on my card. Here started my nightmare. I heard a familiar EXCUSE... my card was with their courier and it might take another week or two for them to deliver it. TWO WEEKS AGAIN! I calmly (again) expressed my concern about not being able to use for Christmas and also I asked if I can still use my old card. I can't because they already disconnected it because of the new gold card. From being delighted to sadness...

It was already late and impossible to use my card and I lost the opportunity to gain points. I either paind cash or used my AIG card (which I plan to discontinue). Ok ok ok I was resigned to my fate and understood the problem. THEIR COURRIER.

My gollywow. Citibank is allowing its courrier to damage its reputation. Up until now, they say that my card is with their courrier. I already spoke to a customer care and filed an online complaint. All I ever have is "Sir, we are sorry that you are frustrated and disappointed. Rest assured that it is being properly handled by the group in charge" aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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I ALREADY RECEIVED THIS REMARK A MILLION TIMES WITH CITIBANK! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING WITH YOUR COURRIER VENDOR???? ARE ALLOWING THEM TO SCREW UP YOUR SERVICE?!!! DONT YOU HAVE ANY SLA (service level agreement) WITH THIS COMPANY???? COMMON, ANY SIMPLETON WOULD KNOW THAT THEY ARE JUST FOOLING A FORTUNE 500 COMPANY!!!

To make matter worst, yesterday I received a letter from citibank yesterday (January 9, 2007)DATED NOVEMBER 30, 2006, congratulating me for the upgrade!!! Are you insulting me? How far will you let this happen??? I am an ordinary client of yours yes! I can't promise that I will rack up my bills and keep your company in good shape! But still I strive to pay my bills and I do.

As a mentioned in my email to citibank, I can not longer distinguish if I am just being loyal to citibank OR I AM BEING STUPID FOR THIS LOYALTY CRAP. I sent an angry (though no profanity in it) letter to them already last Friday, Jan 5 and I receive a reply last Monday. BUT NOTHING IS HAPPENING!!!!!

What else??? I haven't forgotten that I ALREADY HAD THIS UNFAIR TREATMENT FROM CITIBANK LAST YEAR (EARLY PART OF THE YEAR). YEAH, SAME YEAR. AGAIN, IT WAS BECAUSE OF THEIR SPOLIED COURRIER. Nope. Their favorite courrier wasn't able to deliver the card to me. I had to pick it up in their Makati office but I have to show them proof that I was going out of the country???? what??? Ok, because I was about to leave them, I didn't argue and just patiently went to their Makati office and showed them my passport and ticket.

I offered them a solution because they said their courier people can not just leave it to our receptionist or to anyone. They can't (daw) find me as they tried calling my local number. Hey, we have two receiving area here but I only have one phone, I never received any calls from our guard, I tried my best not to leave my area for the last four weeks as I have not scheduled any meetings yet JUST FOR ME TO MAKE SURE THAT I WONT MISS THE CALL.

I told them they can give their courrier my MOBILE NUMBER AND THEY CAN CALL OR CAN EVEN JUST SEND SMS TO ME to make sure that I will be able to GET MY CARD. BUT NO NO NO NO NO NO.... THEY ARE NOT (daw) ALLOWED TO DO SO... WHAT??? WHY??? FOR PHP1??? AND I AM ALREADY GIVING MY CONCENT TO DIVULGE MY MOBILE NUMBER?? SO, WHAT ELSE WILL YOU DO??? NOTHING?? NO CREATIVE SOLUTION GIVEN!!!

i have to stop here. i dont want CITIBANK to ruin my day further. I am still mad.

Just for today

"He commands even the unclean spirits and they OBEY Him" - from MK1:21-28

Nothing is impossible with God. I am amazed at how He works. Right now, even if we can not attend the weekly prayer meeting I thank God for letting me know that He is still with me. By His grace, I am able to read His words. By His grace alone. I need Him to keep me sane and for me to know that He loves me so much.
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Owning a dog (or pets) is a big responsibility. It is not just cute to have one and when its cuteness dies it does not mean that we should stop giving proper attention to our beloved pet. A dog for me should be treated as part of the family and not just an outsider or a mere animal. It is like below maybe the children, would be the dogs.

I don't know. Maybe I grew up surrounded by dogs and I have many good memories of our dogs upto the last dog that we had. I can remember when "Bondying" didn't come home one day, we were all upset and sad. There was this feeling of loss and we did grieve for him. Then one day, he returned. Dirty,filthy, smelly etc., but his return brought unexplainable joy to our hearts.

When he permanently left us (huhuhuhuhuhuhu), I really got emotional. I missed him until now. He was a funny,thoughtful, protective,loving, sweet, gentle, always smiling dog. I remember when my sister was still young (maybe 4 years old), she would laugh whenever she looks at Bondying.... at first we never paid attention to her laughter but then it became consistent. I mean she laughed at Bondying whenever she saw him. We asked her Mariel why she was laughing and she said it wasbecause Bondying was laughing also at her. hahahahahahahahahahahaha.. Imagine a dog with his tongue sticking out. Mariel all along thought that our dear dog was laughing. hahahahahahaha... Well, he did look like laughing all right.

Whoa... stop this. Now, I don't just miss our dog but I miss my little sister (who is a teenager already) as well................ :( I also miss the mother and sister of Bondying. I have to stop this thread......
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My little boy is kicking and kicking. Everytime he does that it assures me that he is just doing fine though I also do not find pleasure that my dear wife is the one in the receiving end. The kicks are getting stronger each day that passes by and it is hurting Josephine. It will be over anytime now. Just a little more days, a few more sleep and Polo will be with us. Yahooooooo... Actually, we will see him this Friday. Josephine and I decided to have a 4D of our little boy. Can't wait to see him.:)

Bible reading

"If someone who has worldly means sees a brother in need and refuses him compassion how can the love of God remain in Him?" from 1st rdg 1Jn3:11-21

Yehey, I've started reading the bible again. Discipline of the Word. It makes sense. How will I be able to hear God's instruction if I don't find time to read the bible. Well, everything now is in the internet. No more excuses unlike before. I hope God would instill in me the need to hear Him out every morning before I do anything. That I may listen and follow Him like how the first disciples did when they found Jesus. Dropped everything and simply followed Jesus.

I know that it isn't simply reading the bible just like a newspaper or any reading materials. I must have in my heart the desire to know His word for me. Must be committed to know Him through this. Otherwisem, I know that whatever I read will just pass through and forgotten..

I wish whatever I read will make me relfect the wholeday not to the point that I will just stare blankly but everything will come out on how I deal with other people, how I work, how I react etc.,

Thank you Lord and I ask for you patience and mercy so I will be able to do this everyday.

Amen

Sleep deprived (practicing..: ) )

I had trouble sleeping last night. My back ache a little bit but it was enough to keep me awake. Actually, after reading stories to Polo, I was able to doze off but then I woke up after maybe 30 minutes after that, I can't sleep anymore. I got conscious with my back and all the things I was hearing got me irritated.

I tried several techniques to sleep and at the end it was a good book that lead me to wonderland. During my restlessness, I thought of my own father. How we are now. Who we were then. His influences to me. The things he did for our family during abundance and lean season. How he take cares of us, especially my mother. Nope, I don't think I am that close to Dad. But in fairness, I never felt that he favor anyone among his children. Even Mariel. His treatment to us all was the same. Maybe I will try to write about Dad another time. I just want to share my realization last night.

First, I forgive you, Dad. I dont hold you responsible for any failures or distress that came to my life along the way. Whether you were directly or indirectly involved. I set you free. I don't blame you. Looking at us four, we turned up just fine. We weren't scarred or have wounds that can't be healed. I know that you did your best for us and I do appreciate everything especially now. There were misunderstandings before but I guess it was really part of any relationships. Yeah, I admit that your words pierced my heart before and it did affect my whole well being. Even that, I have already forgiven you for those were the moments that humbled me to the ground. My wings were clipped and I needed to stay put. Not to be defeated but to re-focus my life. Do I regret it now? No. I learned so much. Believe it or not but it lead me to God and God took over my life since then. I've come to acknowledge His presence and the fruit of it all was love. See. If at the end of everything just made one to be close to God then it isn't bad after all. God healed everything and He made me realized so many valuable things. When Dad and I had the "major talk" of our lives, I gave up everything and just followed his counsel. I returned to my family since and life eventually opened a new beginning.

Second, I will tell story about you to my own son. I guess, I never heard my dad sharing to us his life with our grandfather. For me, I will make sure that my children will get to know his grandparents and admire them. I will teach my children to give proper respect to their grandparents.

Finally, I ended everything with a prayer for our parents.

When Jesus was on earth, His words were all about His Father. May I be able to emulate Jesus throughout my life.

My first in 2007

"Leave all the baggages behind, change your clothes into new ones. Wear your new booths. Then with high spirits move on. This will be a great year! A year of fulfillment and abundance."

I used to fear the unknown. There was a time when I could feel panic running through my veins and slowly the worst of things that could happen to me starts to creep in my mind. Fear sets in and I get lost in a world of confusion.

This changed a long long long time ago. It was not because of any mortal soul here on earth why I can now embrace uncertainties. No. No. Not my own effort. Maybe the situation was a hotline to God. Basta. One thing lead to another. Miracles overlapped whatever I had then. Yeah, it was a difficult and painful transition. I made it. God made it happen.

I noticed the big difference when Josephibe and I got married. People then asked me if I getting married scares me. Giving up so many things and threading into the unknown with another being forever. Nope. It didn't. I was excited to walk Josephine down the aisle. If giving up means getting this much then it isn't difficult surrendering after all. This year, another something new is about to happen. I will enter the world of Fatherhood. I'm excited and I accept it with my whole heart.

My plan this year? Jesus, what's your plan for me? :) I offer to God this year and so my plans are with my Boss. I just ask God the grace for me to able to recognize Him and be obedient. Of course, I have longings and wishes and I already shared it with Him and eventually surrendered them all to Him. I am just after being close to God this year. I want to know Him more, to feel Him more, to walk with Him and listen to Him each day.

Juan Paolo Andrei M. Agustin

Sleek. A name of a gentle and yet strong person. That's my impression. Someone who will be great and will be given big responsibilities. All because he can handle it at ease. I see someone who will think of God first before anything else. He will let God reign in his pure heart and mind and will let others see God in Him. Whatever he decides to pursue, he will achieve it excellently.

Behind his achievement, he will offer his sweetest smile to anyone and everyone. Discriminating no one. His influence will be greater than what i have achieved or anyone that I know of. Yet, at the end of the day, he will not be ashamed to bow and humble himself towards God.

Polo. I know you will achieve a lot. I believe in you. I do promise you that I will not let my life, my frustration, my dreams, my disappointment be your life. It will be your life. I will just guide you and push you not to accept a mediocre life. But who knows you may realize this by yourself.

Basta. I will be a father to you. No matter what.

Book worms

I bought several books the other night. Good ones. Two books for Jaz as our Christmas gifts. I bought one for Mommy Josephine. Another one for my self and then there a "booklet" that Josephine has requested.

I bought a book, Spiritual Direction by Fr. Hneri Nouwen (though his students were the one who have made into a book) and currently reading John Olsteen's Devotional Book, Your life now. The two are compliment each other to support what I wish to be next year. 2007 is Jesus' year for me. I hope to discipline myself in acknowledging God's guidance in my life. I mean everything I do, I hope would be in accordance to God's will and desire for me and my family. My North star. Easy? I'm sure it will not be. But I'm excited. I hope that my personal relationship with God will notch up from where I am now.

Yup. That's right. All my plans, I pray will be aligned to what God wants me to do especially now that I am going to be a father. Who else could mentor me to be one but Him alone. I do want to offer Him 2007.