Faith to move a mountain

If only you can control everything in your plans. There will always be "unexpected events" to challenge it. Sometimes it can wipe out every single bit of positive energy/outlook you have. This type can be too demoralizing and it will bite your confidence up to the bones. Not for the weak of heart and mind! It will give you restless nights and palpitating days. Then, there are nuances. Still it can ruin your certified gold plans. It is like it is not that important but you still have to consider them in your schedule of things. Some challenges are exciting because it triggers creativity or opens promises, which we all like to have. Among the three, I am definitely sure we all want the third type. But the greatest lesson is buried deep in the first type. It is not just to dig the treasure but you must also cover the holes properly. Otherwise, you might step into it.

As for me, there are several loopholes. But can you exercise faith if you are a "sigurista"? Everything I did here, I try my best to make sure that I'm guided by my true Boss. I pray and pray and read the bible. Yes, I'm fortunate that God is guiding me. I draw my strength from Him. It is like opening a complicated gadget. I am following every word in the guide provided. I don't skip anything. Sometimes there is a tremendous urge to assume some items. I simply ignore the temptation but just to remain patient. If there are 100 steps, I guess I'm already in the 80Th. Whew! It is near and yet I must be patient and not to fall into a trap of discouragement. Difficult level already. I guess I admit that this is the most difficult because I sometimes doubt if I made the right decision. That decision part is step 10 I think. That's too far to let affect step 80. That's the thing. Again, I draw my strength from God.

Stressful emotion is in the highest level right now or nearing the top. I'm confused. I'm supposed to be happy and not feeling afraid. My mind knows that but my heart is thinking more. Tsk tsk tsk... I'm worried. There are what ifs trying to control me. It isn't easy to just set it aside but a change in perspective can help a lot in managing this. First thing first, I must identify what is causing me to feel this way. Fear? Doubt? Loss? Adjustment? Undefined territory?

In the gospel today, a widow gave up her precious possessions. I am sure that before she let go of the two copper coins, she encountered so many questions in her mind, I am sure she also thought of her child and what they will eat. What made her gave up her everything when I'm sure God will understand if she didn't. She obeyed. Jesus saw her and acknowledged that she did the most noble thing . I am sure also that even if she has given up her only possessions, she left the place with a smile on her heart

God just acknowledged my sacrifice and told me to just let go. while, I am trusting Him, I am also like holding too tight and He is telling me to let Him do the wonders. By His grace, I will let go...