cool change. No. Freezing change

Tired. Done with Christmas shopping. I was the designated shopper as Josephine would just like to take it easy. I am not sure which is easier. Driving during Christmas season or shopping!!! Both I believe have the same level of craziness. Imagine. More than an hour had passed while i was inside the chaotic world of greenhills AND I still didnt know what to buy. The longer I stayed the more stressful it was for me. Moral lesson. Let your wife shop and do not complain. She is happy doing it while you can spend time in a coffee shop waiting for her. Shopping is both an art and a science. Especially math!

My work permit is on its way. A visa then off we go. I still can't absorb what is happening. Imagine. I AM NOT WORKING IN SMART anymore. Freaking weird. Sad because I might not be able to see my friends there anymore. Though, thank God FB was created. Precisely for this purpose. I am truly grateful that I spent more than eight years there where multi tasking is practised seriously. Part of the culture. Well, to be honest I can't see myself working more than 10 years in Smart but I never thought that I will not reach ten. Thank you truly. I can say that I have given my best there. I know that I also contributed. It is just the right thing. Work, serve and be paid and received other incentives.

But for a couple of years, my attitude has changed. I felt I wasn't learning anymore. I was looking for something beyond financial satisfaction. I wanted to learn. I knew it is something personal but i felt the struggle. I wasn't getting any inputs anymore while I was still stretched. I sensed that this struggle was starting to affect my values in work. I was fighting but I remained uninspired. To work excellently but unmotivated isn't an ideal scenario. I was there for my staff. I was happy sharing whatever I know about our job but that's about. I hated the fact that we had to endure three hours of meeting every other week, we had so many thing going on and yet a big portion of our activity has no impact in our goal. We were so disorganized! Always engaged in putting out fires instead of cultivating soils for growth. We were like a ship going in circle in a storm because we can not see the lighthouse. It has been like that. I wanted to help and be part of a change. I guess somebody threw an anchor and its weight is too much to bear. (This is just how I see things and I could be wrong.)

I didn't expect to be given a chance to grow more somewhere so I thank God for this miracle. He had to pluck me out immediately because it wasn't healthy for me anymore. I really welcome and embrace this change. A breathe of fresh air. The risk of staying in Smart would be more challenging that what we could be probably encountering in a new environment. Again, I only speak for myself. I wasn't happy anymore and I wasn't growing, A change was needed and change it was. Nope. It was like I just jumped out and made a compulsive decision. We prayed and asked guidance from our love ones. We weigh everything and I guess everything is aligned to our wish as a family. It was God's gift for us that we follow and not because of my dissatisfaction. Because, if somehow we saw that it wasnt for us (through prayers and family's wisdom) then we wouldn't pursue it and we would still be in Smart.

I believe in God. He made all of this possible. So, I will learn to let go of Smart and when I look back I will see it as God's gift for us as well. He was the reason why I accepted to work in Smart after all.