Thursday, August 28, 2008

God is Faithful!

Amen. That's the message of Paul to the Corinthians in the first reading today.



I amazed. Yesterday's reading was about not giving up and something else which struck me. Ey, up until now God is watching over me. Thank God for His grace that I am able to read His words. It is different. Somehow, I feel guided and I feel that someone is looking after me.



Look. I am caught in a big web of responsibilities. Tough. Trying to free my right hand only to find out that my other arm and legs are also stuck to this web. Much of the time, I just lay there thinking that one day I will be free but if I dont do anything then nothing will happen. Oh, maybe something more bad can happen. His words then are refreshing to me.



You can not really change people. IT is a personal decision. You can empower them. Uplift them. Say good things about them. Inspire them. Teach them. At the end of the plank, it is them who should jump and no one can do that for them. I have learned how to respect in a much deeper sense. Before, I get frustrated with people whom I was trying to push and do the things I've been telling them to do. I knew that I can't but deep inside it was like a war going on. I wanted to just bang his/her head to make him realize things. Of course, I can't.

Now it is different. If a person doesn't agree with my suggestion or opinion. I let him be without any resentment. Sometimes.. you will see potential in a person and those are the times that I feel compelled to let that person knows his/her inner strength and how he can improve it. Only to my dismay, that person doesnt believe he can pull it through. It is so clear that the person he is seeing is totally different from what I am seeing. Patience then. Be consistent and pray that one day they would learn to accept what the people around them are seeing.

Battling low self esteem is a fight that takes time and effort and no matter what the other say and regardless of their relationship, at the end it is a one on one battle. Oh. me I won it with God on my side. When I did, only then that I realized that it wasn't difficult at all. It was just really a decision to just to take one brave step to a renewed you. Eureka! That was it. I felt free. It was hardwork and one decision. That is to move.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

A decision has to be made and I said YES to it.

No more. One day I know I have to decide and do the necessary change in my life. Accept that this is how it is. No more what if or only if and any of its variations or forms. No more delaying. I have been stuck in here for so long that I have started to enjoy it. Obviously, it isn't healthy and staying at a station without any intention to leave is a life half lived. Unless, that's the station you should embark. Even then you still have to leave the station and go to where you should be going. Not there. NO one should stay only at a station wasting precious moments. Life can not wait. We live the life. I am not sure I am making sense here but I have said it.

You know, like go to a coffee shop/bars with your friends or drink alone by yourself. Eventually, time will catch up and you have to go home. What ever deals you have to face in your house, you should face it.

Tomorrow. It will be a different day even if the Philippines today is engulf by thick clouds and endless raining. It doesn't matter. It will not count. Change is knocking. Not once but persistently from the day I opened and entered a door. Get out, it is shouting. Don't live in virtual comfort. An illusion of contentment. Get grip of reality. There is more. Board the train and go. Dont be late anymore. The ticket has been issued and it would cost you another gold if you let it slip away. While train may come but time would not stay still. Leave now while you can.

Tomorrow. A new song from my heart. A different ideology. I have to go even. There is no map to follow but just instructions on what I should be doing. Humble me Father. Humble my lazy heart and let me go back to they ways of a prudent man. I have achieved nothing yet. Following You should still be my biggest concern. I didn't earn a pass to be complacent but just a ticket for a new job. A new responsibility. A new life. That is what is all about. There is no use. I have been given a new pair of shoes but if I dont run it meant nothing at all.

I dont need to be running in full gear I only have to carry my legs one at a time. Make the necessary steps and learn once again how to walk and then fly. Soar. Again, nobody is here to remind me that. I am against myself. I am not align with my values and my attitude is slowly being corrupted by inefficiency. A decay that could soon be a cause of regret, disappointment, tears, fears and nightmares. I always remember what Stephen Covey has said, if you pick a stick at one end you will surely also get the other end of that stick. Part of life is choosing the direction of where we want to go, how we want to go there and what do we need to do. We know the answer. Always. That's the reason why at this age maybe I shouldn't wait for someone to tell me what I should be doing because at the back of mind, I know it.

There is no excuse. Only choices. Yesterdays have happened. People might have said something hurtful, unproductive or they were unkind. So be it. They should not made be into excuses. Like carrying posters in the streets and telling the whole world how unkind people/circumstances were to you. No one will listen and even if they do so what? What will you do with their sympathies? Justification of an efficient life? Loser. Loser really. I mean really really really.

No need of that. I remember the first time I drove my brand new car. After, years of being comfortable of having an AT car, I really got afraid when it was time to drive a much bigger and it was MT too. I was very nervous because I had to take it out from the warehouse during rush hour. Wow. I could have backed away and just maybe ask my brother to bring it home. I could also maybe let it stay at the warehouse and wait for the license plate. I could have given other excuses just not to drive it at that particular day. But hey, I was excited. It would be my first time to drive a car. It was also the first time in our family that someone was able to have brand new car (and a SUV at that). When I first saw my car, my jaw dropped. Wow. I swear, I could have embraced it if not for the people around me. I could have kissed it. I went inside and then with my stroke the engine roar into life. How sweet it was to hear and smell the freshness of a new car. Was I still worried? Nope. I took control. Yeah, I was still nervous but eventually I felt it wasn't difficult at all.

So tomorrow, I will start the engine and toot toot toot.. off I go to my next journey. I should be excited, I am going to VIENNA, AUSTRIA this October. :)

Polo: Different Moods

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