You have the purest of heart. I have known you for more than a decade already and never have I felt that you are hiding anything from me nor from others. Your intention is always for the welfare of others. Really. Your genuine care for others isn't pretensions nor for any other reason but it just that. You are concern. Sometimes I can’t catch up with you but it doesn’t deter you from serving. You are generous more than you think you are and I see it. Sometimes, I want to give up on people, I want to think for myself ourselves, or get angry at you for giving without limits. Yet, the word of God always struck me and become my basis for your actions. I follow. I know it is God who is moving you.Just weeks ago, we were trying to decide whether to give money or not. Though, I guess I was the only one who was trying to decide since you already have an answer. You didn’t push the issue nor give me a litany of whys... But God spoke directly as he said that we help as much as we could without thinking of what we can get out of it. He has given us enough and we will never have less or more. True. So, I followed. Then God also mentioned about the thorn in the flesh and that made me realize why we have to do be in some situations when sometimes I want to get out of it. I know you know what I mean.Going back to you. You are a good person. very good. I am blessed that you are my wife. I am forever grateful to God that we are together in this life. I am humbled by your heart that is cut for service. I have read about saints or people who are good example of living a Christian life but now, I realized that I have that person beside me. A good wife, mother, daughter and friend. You want to give as much as you can and that is the reason why our life together is blessed as well.Yeah, that's the reason why I let you buy something for yourself. I know that if I say no, you will follow me. I know that if someone ask you to help them, you will give rather buy something for yourself. That's the reason why you keep on asking me if you can buy this or that because you are not used to it. It is easier for you to give than to think for your self. I see that so I give you a chance to have what ever you want as long as we can afford it. You treat it as a gift for you and it has more meaning that way.You are an inspiration to me. I see in you how it should be to be a good family person. That family comes first no matter what. That if there is someone who knocks, we should let the person in and help. You inspire me to be clear with my intention and be sincere. I sometimes read books to be inspired and learn from great men/women who are showing the way. But here you are my dearest wife. I am a witness to these great things. I see you and what you have done and why you are doing it. Definitely, one can only continue to show generosity if one possesses a pure and sincere heart.Thank you for being a light to me and allowing me to see Christ in you.
Polo: Different Moods
Come. Celebrate life with us. Let's worship God!
Monday, July 06, 2009
Monday, March 02, 2009
Two Leaves Falling
I stood there with all the memories rushing to come back
The exact ground where we throw our marbles or bottle caps
The corners where we hid on cloudless but moon lit nights playing hide and seek.
I walked and remembered where we used to run endlessly
Where we sometimes gather and exchange our amazing stories
I can still see the different animals that had been part of our childhood
I sat underneath a tree where we spent our afternoon
The trees that provided us,children food during summer breaks
The trees that witnessed the changes that took place
They silently hold all the memories that maybe one day we will try to recapture
It is all different now.
No more children running.
No more shouting, laughing or even crying.
Just the barking dogs.
Just a couple of trees that remained standing
Sometimes we have been too far and then remember things
The way it had been but there is no turning back
Life is just about remembering and moving forward
It isn't as easy as I realize now
Can I embrace a moment for awhile and cherish it until I am ready to let go?
I guess not. Everything will just eventually move.
There is no standstill. No second chance.
A day is created for a day and tomorrow is already different.
I am witnessing my child growing and only two years have passed since his birth
I am sure in due time I will go back to his first two years and lovingly remember
what is happening now.
Maybe a tear will eventually fall
There is no turning back so today is what I have.
Today is the treasure that I will open in the future.
Today is what I cherish, being with my family
I can not go back nor look back for too long
This is what I have.
The exact ground where we throw our marbles or bottle caps
The corners where we hid on cloudless but moon lit nights playing hide and seek.
I walked and remembered where we used to run endlessly
Where we sometimes gather and exchange our amazing stories
I can still see the different animals that had been part of our childhood
I sat underneath a tree where we spent our afternoon
The trees that provided us,children food during summer breaks
The trees that witnessed the changes that took place
They silently hold all the memories that maybe one day we will try to recapture
It is all different now.
No more children running.
No more shouting, laughing or even crying.
Just the barking dogs.
Just a couple of trees that remained standing
Sometimes we have been too far and then remember things
The way it had been but there is no turning back
Life is just about remembering and moving forward
It isn't as easy as I realize now
Can I embrace a moment for awhile and cherish it until I am ready to let go?
I guess not. Everything will just eventually move.
There is no standstill. No second chance.
A day is created for a day and tomorrow is already different.
I am witnessing my child growing and only two years have passed since his birth
I am sure in due time I will go back to his first two years and lovingly remember
what is happening now.
Maybe a tear will eventually fall
There is no turning back so today is what I have.
Today is the treasure that I will open in the future.
Today is what I cherish, being with my family
I can not go back nor look back for too long
This is what I have.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Polo- visit my FB for more.. :)
With Kuya Ethan 
Diving in stones
Thinking what's next
I think this is cool
I really think so..
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Lessons in Vienna Austria
First, I've learned to use a train rather than the more comfortable taxis. Crazy, I was informed by our hotel that it could cost me as much as Euro18 to go to the BARG meeting venue while a train just cost me Euro1.70.
The funny thing is that I have different eperiences in the three (3) days that I used the train. First day, I asked the front desk for a direction and she exlained it clearly and so with a map on my hand I confidently board a train. After 20min or so I was already in Karlplatz. I didn't that much but I just went out of the station believing it was like an MRT where as soon as get out it would be easy to go where ever you want. I was wrong. The was landmark the front lady told me was no where in sight. I had to open my big map and then I had to ask people. I did. Maybe I asked three people. They told me where but all of them wanted me to take a tramp. I said I want to walk. You know be familiar with the place and see Vienna by foot. At last the last guy told me that at the end of the block I will see Mcdonald's then I turn right. McDO??? now that sounds familiar. So, I did and then ask few more people until I finally arrived. No sweat literally. It was cold so it was good for walking.
The second day. Karlplatz and I said I will not get lost again. But lo and behold, when I stepped out of the station it was a different place all together. I had to look for that damn Mcdo. Whew.. I had to ask and ask until I found my way. Faster than it was the other day.
The third day. Naah, I wont get lost anymore and then I was with my colleague so no more problem. I spoke fast. When we arrived and step out of the station. IT WAS RAINING!! hahahahahahaha.... We waited and waited and actually went inside a school campus for shelter. It seemed that the rain wouldn't stop so we decided to take a cab.
The whole time I was in Vienna was like being in a gym. Just walking and walking and walking for more until the last day. The food wasn't good at all. Filipino food is still the best. C'mmon not let me eat binagoongan, lechon kawali, sinigang na baboy etc etc., hmmm, now I am hungry. Well, I am happy with the experience.
The real and very important learnings happened on the second day. I was tired the night before because we ate very late in a fancy restaurant (for free, but the food wasn't that recommendable but the ambience of that place was different and so it made me buy a bottle of wine and I hope iy would reach the Philippines in good shape). Different time zone and got tired with all the walking with a very heavy laptop bag. Anyway, in the afternoon the blue bug hit me. Yeah, I was feeling sad and maybe homesick and drain with all the presentations and meetings I had. This made me feel a little bit intimidated and so at the end of the sessions, I was really in the right disposition. I needed an open space.
I walked and saw that people were going inside a very old gate. I came in and it made me laugh inside because it was a university and people stared at me. An Asian guy lost in a crowd of Austrian students. I prentended that I wasn't lost but Im sure they figured it out. Then I went inside another gate. I got my open space. It was the Belvedere. Wow. I mean wow! Huge.. anyway, I sat down and relaxed a bit and took some pictures and decided to come back the following day. Ok, I wasn't really feeling well yet. blue blue blue... my world was blue. Then I saw a church. The doors were open. But I wasn't sure yet that it was a Catholic church. Then I saw the pictures of the late Pope John Paul II and that of Mother Mary. I felt it. I was home. It was God's grace that I was there. Right there and then a tear fell off. I was sad and homesick and He called me. That's how much God loves me. He knew me inside and outside. He knew I needed some rest. How I felt His love and how it changed what I was feeling. I saw just maybe five people and realized that the Priest was preparing for the Mass. I decided to stay. I didn't understand a word because everything was in German. I just went a long. That night I opened the bible and I was struck with reading in Psalms for that day. You know, the trees are planted on a stream.. something like that. See. He refreshed me and gave me enough energy and positive feeling to end a week long journey. Going back to the mass. God was in Austria as He is in the Philippines. He was in Slovenia and anywhere I went. I know He can speak in German but He made sure to tell me in English and Filipino how everything will be alright and that He was there for me. Amen. He was with me all the time.
Ok.. there are other learnings but I am starting to get dizzy. I can't wait to get home and see Josephine and my dear son, Polo. :)
The funny thing is that I have different eperiences in the three (3) days that I used the train. First day, I asked the front desk for a direction and she exlained it clearly and so with a map on my hand I confidently board a train. After 20min or so I was already in Karlplatz. I didn't that much but I just went out of the station believing it was like an MRT where as soon as get out it would be easy to go where ever you want. I was wrong. The was landmark the front lady told me was no where in sight. I had to open my big map and then I had to ask people. I did. Maybe I asked three people. They told me where but all of them wanted me to take a tramp. I said I want to walk. You know be familiar with the place and see Vienna by foot. At last the last guy told me that at the end of the block I will see Mcdonald's then I turn right. McDO??? now that sounds familiar. So, I did and then ask few more people until I finally arrived. No sweat literally. It was cold so it was good for walking.
The second day. Karlplatz and I said I will not get lost again. But lo and behold, when I stepped out of the station it was a different place all together. I had to look for that damn Mcdo. Whew.. I had to ask and ask until I found my way. Faster than it was the other day.
The third day. Naah, I wont get lost anymore and then I was with my colleague so no more problem. I spoke fast. When we arrived and step out of the station. IT WAS RAINING!! hahahahahahaha.... We waited and waited and actually went inside a school campus for shelter. It seemed that the rain wouldn't stop so we decided to take a cab.
The whole time I was in Vienna was like being in a gym. Just walking and walking and walking for more until the last day. The food wasn't good at all. Filipino food is still the best. C'mmon not let me eat binagoongan, lechon kawali, sinigang na baboy etc etc., hmmm, now I am hungry. Well, I am happy with the experience.
The real and very important learnings happened on the second day. I was tired the night before because we ate very late in a fancy restaurant (for free, but the food wasn't that recommendable but the ambience of that place was different and so it made me buy a bottle of wine and I hope iy would reach the Philippines in good shape). Different time zone and got tired with all the walking with a very heavy laptop bag. Anyway, in the afternoon the blue bug hit me. Yeah, I was feeling sad and maybe homesick and drain with all the presentations and meetings I had. This made me feel a little bit intimidated and so at the end of the sessions, I was really in the right disposition. I needed an open space.
I walked and saw that people were going inside a very old gate. I came in and it made me laugh inside because it was a university and people stared at me. An Asian guy lost in a crowd of Austrian students. I prentended that I wasn't lost but Im sure they figured it out. Then I went inside another gate. I got my open space. It was the Belvedere. Wow. I mean wow! Huge.. anyway, I sat down and relaxed a bit and took some pictures and decided to come back the following day. Ok, I wasn't really feeling well yet. blue blue blue... my world was blue. Then I saw a church. The doors were open. But I wasn't sure yet that it was a Catholic church. Then I saw the pictures of the late Pope John Paul II and that of Mother Mary. I felt it. I was home. It was God's grace that I was there. Right there and then a tear fell off. I was sad and homesick and He called me. That's how much God loves me. He knew me inside and outside. He knew I needed some rest. How I felt His love and how it changed what I was feeling. I saw just maybe five people and realized that the Priest was preparing for the Mass. I decided to stay. I didn't understand a word because everything was in German. I just went a long. That night I opened the bible and I was struck with reading in Psalms for that day. You know, the trees are planted on a stream.. something like that. See. He refreshed me and gave me enough energy and positive feeling to end a week long journey. Going back to the mass. God was in Austria as He is in the Philippines. He was in Slovenia and anywhere I went. I know He can speak in German but He made sure to tell me in English and Filipino how everything will be alright and that He was there for me. Amen. He was with me all the time.
Ok.. there are other learnings but I am starting to get dizzy. I can't wait to get home and see Josephine and my dear son, Polo. :)
Saturday, October 11, 2008
To Vienna with work....and fun
Day One:
Nope. I am not yet there. I just landed from Manila to HK and waiting for the real flight. This is nothing compares to the more than 15hrs of flight time which will start in about an hour and half. PAL had some problem with the landing gears so talk and we got delayed by 30 minutes. Then, in the runway it wasn't smooth at all. It was like there potholes everywhere so yeah I admit I got scared as usual. I prayed and prayed. The plane took off and then we encountered turbulence. AAAAAAhhhhhhhh.. talk about my first experience in business class (actually second :) ). Just imagine my face turning white as all my blood was evaporating and I do not where it was going. I prayed again and asked to please shield us from the wind. That did it. It stopped. I can just imagine how the apostles felt when the storm calmed down when Jesus commanded it to stop. Yeah, I pretty sure we had the same experience. Cool dudes. :)
I was in Mabuhay Lounge in Manila now I am at the Cathay Pacific Business Lounge. Cool for a simple guy. Though, in the past days I did maybe something that I never did before. I shopped like my wife but mine was more expensive. All these branded items from laptop bags, wallet, gloves, scarf, ballpen to passport holder etc etc aren't really my thing because deep inside me I knew that I spent a lot for this trip. Pardon me. My intention is just to be at least presentable to my counterparts. I dont want to feel so off. I am there not just for myself but for my company and of course I also represent the Philippines. Ey dont get me wrong. Though I said branded items these are not the top of the line. Just simple items that for simple Filipinos like I am are already considered branded. :). I am happy.
Ok. That's about it for today... I have to psyche myself for now... :)
Nope. I am not yet there. I just landed from Manila to HK and waiting for the real flight. This is nothing compares to the more than 15hrs of flight time which will start in about an hour and half. PAL had some problem with the landing gears so talk and we got delayed by 30 minutes. Then, in the runway it wasn't smooth at all. It was like there potholes everywhere so yeah I admit I got scared as usual. I prayed and prayed. The plane took off and then we encountered turbulence. AAAAAAhhhhhhhh.. talk about my first experience in business class (actually second :) ). Just imagine my face turning white as all my blood was evaporating and I do not where it was going. I prayed again and asked to please shield us from the wind. That did it. It stopped. I can just imagine how the apostles felt when the storm calmed down when Jesus commanded it to stop. Yeah, I pretty sure we had the same experience. Cool dudes. :)
I was in Mabuhay Lounge in Manila now I am at the Cathay Pacific Business Lounge. Cool for a simple guy. Though, in the past days I did maybe something that I never did before. I shopped like my wife but mine was more expensive. All these branded items from laptop bags, wallet, gloves, scarf, ballpen to passport holder etc etc aren't really my thing because deep inside me I knew that I spent a lot for this trip. Pardon me. My intention is just to be at least presentable to my counterparts. I dont want to feel so off. I am there not just for myself but for my company and of course I also represent the Philippines. Ey dont get me wrong. Though I said branded items these are not the top of the line. Just simple items that for simple Filipinos like I am are already considered branded. :). I am happy.
Ok. That's about it for today... I have to psyche myself for now... :)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
That "Ber-feeling" is here
Pool time with friends. Kuya Ethan and Maia.
Ethan explaining and Polo giving his Mom a look on why they can still play in the pool
Kid-made-little-tidal waves
Yup. I love swimming.
Hmmm. which should I play next....
Just another day at work
My own version of rain
Co workers busy
Friday, September 05, 2008
Papa Bin Papa Babin Pa Bin
The other day Polo shouted in full volume my name. He wanted me to get his toys from the cabinet. Of course, his request had his unique version of saying "PLEASE"..... What made me laugh was when he called me by my name. Hahahahahahaha... I heard him before calling me Marvin, not perfect but it was still Marvin. I thought then that he would not like be the other children who had a hard time prouncing Marvin. Then again, Polo just called and kept on calling me Papa Bin especially if it is with great urgency for him. Sometimes he would even grab my hand and lead me where he wants to be. That's my son. I like it. If you want anything say it. hahahahahahaahahaha.. At least he is not calling me Pappy anymore. May he realize that we are not dogs or he hasn't seen wowowie lately.
All of the sudden we are now concern about the price of his diapers, baby wipes and soap. They are very every expensive. When he was still a baby, it was hard because of his sensitive skin but now, we are ready to try the cheaper ones. Php12 per diaper.. that's expensive.. :) We will try to use the more affordable ones. That's not a problem. But we wish not to save on his milk or food. We will give want we can. Polo's diet, lots of fruits, juice, rice, bread and how he loves pop corn... he eats anything though it also depends on how it is presented. He likes rice so much. He would say, "rice" rice" rice.. and if he wants something.. he would say...like like like... if he gets what he wants.. he has this "excited" expression and body language that a parent would always want to see.. :) He is really adorable and sweet. I came home late one evening. He woke up in the middle of the night and saw me beside him. Polo sat and then lay down on my chest. It was like he was telling me. "My daddy is here at last" After a few minutes, he went to his mom to sleep. Touching that even if he woke me up, I still felt loved by this little kid.
Our kids have this power over us. A positive one. I know everyone agress how they can wipe away the stresses of life, refresh tired bodies, warm up a sad and cold heart. That's how they are. Pure love exists through them from God. I actually still can't believe that I already have a child of my own. I am enjoying everyminute of it. He isn't just a friend who came across my path. He is our child. Wow. Thank God. Praise God. To hear him call me Papa is something I always look forward to everyday.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
God is Faithful!
Amen. That's the message of Paul to the Corinthians in the first reading today.
I amazed. Yesterday's reading was about not giving up and something else which struck me. Ey, up until now God is watching over me. Thank God for His grace that I am able to read His words. It is different. Somehow, I feel guided and I feel that someone is looking after me.
Look. I am caught in a big web of responsibilities. Tough. Trying to free my right hand only to find out that my other arm and legs are also stuck to this web. Much of the time, I just lay there thinking that one day I will be free but if I dont do anything then nothing will happen. Oh, maybe something more bad can happen. His words then are refreshing to me.
You can not really change people. IT is a personal decision. You can empower them. Uplift them. Say good things about them. Inspire them. Teach them. At the end of the plank, it is them who should jump and no one can do that for them. I have learned how to respect in a much deeper sense. Before, I get frustrated with people whom I was trying to push and do the things I've been telling them to do. I knew that I can't but deep inside it was like a war going on. I wanted to just bang his/her head to make him realize things. Of course, I can't.
Now it is different. If a person doesn't agree with my suggestion or opinion. I let him be without any resentment. Sometimes.. you will see potential in a person and those are the times that I feel compelled to let that person knows his/her inner strength and how he can improve it. Only to my dismay, that person doesnt believe he can pull it through. It is so clear that the person he is seeing is totally different from what I am seeing. Patience then. Be consistent and pray that one day they would learn to accept what the people around them are seeing.
Battling low self esteem is a fight that takes time and effort and no matter what the other say and regardless of their relationship, at the end it is a one on one battle. Oh. me I won it with God on my side. When I did, only then that I realized that it wasn't difficult at all. It was just really a decision to just to take one brave step to a renewed you. Eureka! That was it. I felt free. It was hardwork and one decision. That is to move.
I amazed. Yesterday's reading was about not giving up and something else which struck me. Ey, up until now God is watching over me. Thank God for His grace that I am able to read His words. It is different. Somehow, I feel guided and I feel that someone is looking after me.
Look. I am caught in a big web of responsibilities. Tough. Trying to free my right hand only to find out that my other arm and legs are also stuck to this web. Much of the time, I just lay there thinking that one day I will be free but if I dont do anything then nothing will happen. Oh, maybe something more bad can happen. His words then are refreshing to me.
You can not really change people. IT is a personal decision. You can empower them. Uplift them. Say good things about them. Inspire them. Teach them. At the end of the plank, it is them who should jump and no one can do that for them. I have learned how to respect in a much deeper sense. Before, I get frustrated with people whom I was trying to push and do the things I've been telling them to do. I knew that I can't but deep inside it was like a war going on. I wanted to just bang his/her head to make him realize things. Of course, I can't.
Now it is different. If a person doesn't agree with my suggestion or opinion. I let him be without any resentment. Sometimes.. you will see potential in a person and those are the times that I feel compelled to let that person knows his/her inner strength and how he can improve it. Only to my dismay, that person doesnt believe he can pull it through. It is so clear that the person he is seeing is totally different from what I am seeing. Patience then. Be consistent and pray that one day they would learn to accept what the people around them are seeing.
Battling low self esteem is a fight that takes time and effort and no matter what the other say and regardless of their relationship, at the end it is a one on one battle. Oh. me I won it with God on my side. When I did, only then that I realized that it wasn't difficult at all. It was just really a decision to just to take one brave step to a renewed you. Eureka! That was it. I felt free. It was hardwork and one decision. That is to move.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
A decision has to be made and I said YES to it.
No more. One day I know I have to decide and do the necessary change in my life. Accept that this is how it is. No more what if or only if and any of its variations or forms. No more delaying. I have been stuck in here for so long that I have started to enjoy it. Obviously, it isn't healthy and staying at a station without any intention to leave is a life half lived. Unless, that's the station you should embark. Even then you still have to leave the station and go to where you should be going. Not there. NO one should stay only at a station wasting precious moments. Life can not wait. We live the life. I am not sure I am making sense here but I have said it.
You know, like go to a coffee shop/bars with your friends or drink alone by yourself. Eventually, time will catch up and you have to go home. What ever deals you have to face in your house, you should face it.
Tomorrow. It will be a different day even if the Philippines today is engulf by thick clouds and endless raining. It doesn't matter. It will not count. Change is knocking. Not once but persistently from the day I opened and entered a door. Get out, it is shouting. Don't live in virtual comfort. An illusion of contentment. Get grip of reality. There is more. Board the train and go. Dont be late anymore. The ticket has been issued and it would cost you another gold if you let it slip away. While train may come but time would not stay still. Leave now while you can.
Tomorrow. A new song from my heart. A different ideology. I have to go even. There is no map to follow but just instructions on what I should be doing. Humble me Father. Humble my lazy heart and let me go back to they ways of a prudent man. I have achieved nothing yet. Following You should still be my biggest concern. I didn't earn a pass to be complacent but just a ticket for a new job. A new responsibility. A new life. That is what is all about. There is no use. I have been given a new pair of shoes but if I dont run it meant nothing at all.
I dont need to be running in full gear I only have to carry my legs one at a time. Make the necessary steps and learn once again how to walk and then fly. Soar. Again, nobody is here to remind me that. I am against myself. I am not align with my values and my attitude is slowly being corrupted by inefficiency. A decay that could soon be a cause of regret, disappointment, tears, fears and nightmares. I always remember what Stephen Covey has said, if you pick a stick at one end you will surely also get the other end of that stick. Part of life is choosing the direction of where we want to go, how we want to go there and what do we need to do. We know the answer. Always. That's the reason why at this age maybe I shouldn't wait for someone to tell me what I should be doing because at the back of mind, I know it.
There is no excuse. Only choices. Yesterdays have happened. People might have said something hurtful, unproductive or they were unkind. So be it. They should not made be into excuses. Like carrying posters in the streets and telling the whole world how unkind people/circumstances were to you. No one will listen and even if they do so what? What will you do with their sympathies? Justification of an efficient life? Loser. Loser really. I mean really really really.
No need of that. I remember the first time I drove my brand new car. After, years of being comfortable of having an AT car, I really got afraid when it was time to drive a much bigger and it was MT too. I was very nervous because I had to take it out from the warehouse during rush hour. Wow. I could have backed away and just maybe ask my brother to bring it home. I could also maybe let it stay at the warehouse and wait for the license plate. I could have given other excuses just not to drive it at that particular day. But hey, I was excited. It would be my first time to drive a car. It was also the first time in our family that someone was able to have brand new car (and a SUV at that). When I first saw my car, my jaw dropped. Wow. I swear, I could have embraced it if not for the people around me. I could have kissed it. I went inside and then with my stroke the engine roar into life. How sweet it was to hear and smell the freshness of a new car. Was I still worried? Nope. I took control. Yeah, I was still nervous but eventually I felt it wasn't difficult at all.
So tomorrow, I will start the engine and toot toot toot.. off I go to my next journey. I should be excited, I am going to VIENNA, AUSTRIA this October. :)
You know, like go to a coffee shop/bars with your friends or drink alone by yourself. Eventually, time will catch up and you have to go home. What ever deals you have to face in your house, you should face it.
Tomorrow. It will be a different day even if the Philippines today is engulf by thick clouds and endless raining. It doesn't matter. It will not count. Change is knocking. Not once but persistently from the day I opened and entered a door. Get out, it is shouting. Don't live in virtual comfort. An illusion of contentment. Get grip of reality. There is more. Board the train and go. Dont be late anymore. The ticket has been issued and it would cost you another gold if you let it slip away. While train may come but time would not stay still. Leave now while you can.
Tomorrow. A new song from my heart. A different ideology. I have to go even. There is no map to follow but just instructions on what I should be doing. Humble me Father. Humble my lazy heart and let me go back to they ways of a prudent man. I have achieved nothing yet. Following You should still be my biggest concern. I didn't earn a pass to be complacent but just a ticket for a new job. A new responsibility. A new life. That is what is all about. There is no use. I have been given a new pair of shoes but if I dont run it meant nothing at all.
I dont need to be running in full gear I only have to carry my legs one at a time. Make the necessary steps and learn once again how to walk and then fly. Soar. Again, nobody is here to remind me that. I am against myself. I am not align with my values and my attitude is slowly being corrupted by inefficiency. A decay that could soon be a cause of regret, disappointment, tears, fears and nightmares. I always remember what Stephen Covey has said, if you pick a stick at one end you will surely also get the other end of that stick. Part of life is choosing the direction of where we want to go, how we want to go there and what do we need to do. We know the answer. Always. That's the reason why at this age maybe I shouldn't wait for someone to tell me what I should be doing because at the back of mind, I know it.
There is no excuse. Only choices. Yesterdays have happened. People might have said something hurtful, unproductive or they were unkind. So be it. They should not made be into excuses. Like carrying posters in the streets and telling the whole world how unkind people/circumstances were to you. No one will listen and even if they do so what? What will you do with their sympathies? Justification of an efficient life? Loser. Loser really. I mean really really really.
No need of that. I remember the first time I drove my brand new car. After, years of being comfortable of having an AT car, I really got afraid when it was time to drive a much bigger and it was MT too. I was very nervous because I had to take it out from the warehouse during rush hour. Wow. I could have backed away and just maybe ask my brother to bring it home. I could also maybe let it stay at the warehouse and wait for the license plate. I could have given other excuses just not to drive it at that particular day. But hey, I was excited. It would be my first time to drive a car. It was also the first time in our family that someone was able to have brand new car (and a SUV at that). When I first saw my car, my jaw dropped. Wow. I swear, I could have embraced it if not for the people around me. I could have kissed it. I went inside and then with my stroke the engine roar into life. How sweet it was to hear and smell the freshness of a new car. Was I still worried? Nope. I took control. Yeah, I was still nervous but eventually I felt it wasn't difficult at all.
So tomorrow, I will start the engine and toot toot toot.. off I go to my next journey. I should be excited, I am going to VIENNA, AUSTRIA this October. :)
Monday, June 02, 2008
Be inspired
Let's say I climbed a mountain and I reached a point which happened to be my goal. I trained and worked hard to reach this peak and so I enjoyed being here. The view and everything and whew what a journey it had been. Life is good. Rewarding. But it shouldn't be over. This shouldn't be the goal yet but just a stepping stone. Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! how many stepping stones should be there in the first place? I guess the a better question is what is my goal in the first place. I read in a book (Tipping point) about this scenario.
I felt special when I still a Supervisor. You know doing things that were beyond my position. Knowing a lot which weren't expected of me. Then now, I am a Manager. Nope. There is no more feeling of being on top of my job. I have became ordinary because of the promotion. Get it? I mean when I was still in a rank below, I did things that made people say that I was ready to be a Manager. And now, it is just expected. Not that I am fishing for affirmation or what. I realize though that I should rise and perform. That's where my problem is right now.
Inspiration.
I think our soul must be connected to the things that we are doing or love to do. It should be our soul that should propel us to do things. Not just the heart and mind. Mind is the first level. Heart is the second and the soul is the most important level. In the soul level, it lets you face and overcome physical limitations and it overrides the negative feelings to let you succeed and proceed to what ever goal you have set in place. Hmmmmm.. People just talk about the heart and mind but I think now in my stage the sould is more applicable.
Have you ever heard a music that touch your soul so deep that makes you stay still for a while. It isn't your lips that is singing or your ears that are listening. This time, it is your soul. You dont want to move, you feel that it should last more and do not want it to end, you don't sing a long with it, you close your eyes and not really see anything but inside you something magical is happening. You try to smell it or touch it but can't because it is needed. It is living within you. It is a moment when you do not care what is happening outside, or if you have any concerns, or if you are tired. Just there in a moment. That my friend is your soul.
We all need that connection. How much experience/ecstacy it would be if your could commune with God. Wow! Perfect. Diba? Ok. I understand that it would be easier to achieve this kind of experience if you a lot some of your precious time for meditation. Yeah, maybe once a day or twice a week. All I think is that it is needed. It let's you see clearly, remove the clouds inside your mind. Just that and let your soul be free. Let it listen and sing and most importantly think.
Yeah, that's my opinion. We are busy everyday at work, weekends for the family and see it could lead you to a crowded street and eventually stress you out. Working with this kind of stress has a negative impact.
Inspiration. Where will get it though? I am struggling. I need to silence my self and hear.
I felt special when I still a Supervisor. You know doing things that were beyond my position. Knowing a lot which weren't expected of me. Then now, I am a Manager. Nope. There is no more feeling of being on top of my job. I have became ordinary because of the promotion. Get it? I mean when I was still in a rank below, I did things that made people say that I was ready to be a Manager. And now, it is just expected. Not that I am fishing for affirmation or what. I realize though that I should rise and perform. That's where my problem is right now.
Inspiration.
I think our soul must be connected to the things that we are doing or love to do. It should be our soul that should propel us to do things. Not just the heart and mind. Mind is the first level. Heart is the second and the soul is the most important level. In the soul level, it lets you face and overcome physical limitations and it overrides the negative feelings to let you succeed and proceed to what ever goal you have set in place. Hmmmmm.. People just talk about the heart and mind but I think now in my stage the sould is more applicable.
Have you ever heard a music that touch your soul so deep that makes you stay still for a while. It isn't your lips that is singing or your ears that are listening. This time, it is your soul. You dont want to move, you feel that it should last more and do not want it to end, you don't sing a long with it, you close your eyes and not really see anything but inside you something magical is happening. You try to smell it or touch it but can't because it is needed. It is living within you. It is a moment when you do not care what is happening outside, or if you have any concerns, or if you are tired. Just there in a moment. That my friend is your soul.
We all need that connection. How much experience/ecstacy it would be if your could commune with God. Wow! Perfect. Diba? Ok. I understand that it would be easier to achieve this kind of experience if you a lot some of your precious time for meditation. Yeah, maybe once a day or twice a week. All I think is that it is needed. It let's you see clearly, remove the clouds inside your mind. Just that and let your soul be free. Let it listen and sing and most importantly think.
Yeah, that's my opinion. We are busy everyday at work, weekends for the family and see it could lead you to a crowded street and eventually stress you out. Working with this kind of stress has a negative impact.
Inspiration. Where will get it though? I am struggling. I need to silence my self and hear.
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