Oh, it's me!

Too bad I missed so many days and have not written for quite awhile. I went through an xtreme ride and I wasn't able to capture my thought while going through a rough one. Hi and low and around. It felt like I was pushed to the wall so much that my guts were about to come out. Painful, stressfull and awful.

I dont say I am a good writer but writing is one of my ways to cope with stress. And that was a problem in the process of going through a whirlwind, I lost my self in the process. Maybe also it was time to get out of my comfortzones thus I experienced those. I will take it. I felt raw emotions. Fear. Frustrations. Anger. Doubt. Tensions. All ingredients of an internal TNT explosives.

I was trying to reach out for someone. (Good thing I have a wonderful wife). I guess everybody just see the what it seems an "easy" life for us. I beg to differ. We still experience suffering and trials. At the end, nobody responded and maybe 1. they cant believe me that I was really suffering. 2. Do not know how to help me 3. I looked ungrateful considering the life we have now. 4. It was our decision afterall to be away from everybody so deal with it.

Well, what can I say..... I think everything will pass by eventually. Like now, I feel better. It is just in those low points that sometimes I want others to see me also as having a down point.

But ok. In a proper perspective sans emotion, I believed and trusted that God was and is with us. He performed several miracles in my work. I have never been so dependent on Him. I prayed whenever I can. Not for Him to take me out but for me to be able to endure this. He was there alright!

to be continued.....