Just something I realized along the way

1. Approach everything with love and understanding
sometimes Jospehine and I would argue over something. petty or sometimes big ones. it donesn't matter. we've somehow managed to go beyond the arguement. there are times that one's ego will sneak out and show its face. that's where self understanding should be used. if the arguement countinues out of ego then it will not end. i stepped on the break. getting angry at each other is not worth it. sometimes though, we continue to argue but let it be. as much as possible it shouldn't be taken personally. "if no one gives in then maybe no one should". i mean, we are still two different people and we allow each other to think differently. we shouldn't change each other. Yes, we would share the same values, beliefs, perspectives etc but not all the time. "we are still two unique individuals who entered into a commitment into a lifelong getting to know other and no matter what we discover about each other, our commitment stays".

2. Affirm your love to one another
it is important to know it and believe it by heart even if it isn't verbally communicated or expressed. but it still feels good to hear "i love you" from one another. isn't it? Especially in moments of great struggle or plainly being low on juice emotionally when you just sigh the whole day, not in the mood to talk, so many things to think and do and then your spouse will just tap your shoulder, or receive a warm embrace and whisper in your ears, "i love you". wow! how it helps to put things in proper perspective knowing that in this sometimes cruel world someone beside you love you truly.

3. Learn to celebrate each other's victories. small or big.
what are victories? anything that your spouse has given his/her time and effort with. it could be something that could be finished in a minute or big ones that require plenty of time. it could also be for you or for somebody else (work, friends, her/himself, community etc). Support, remind and then celebrate later on. the important thing is that you show you are happy with your spouse's accomplishment.

4. Surround yourself with good people.
it depends of course how you define your "good people". my good people might not be the good people the others have. it depends a lot on how the two of you define it. the point is, there should be enough people around you to support and your relationship and the same time be of service to them as well. have friends and nourish this relationship. if there are times when the two of you feel like the world is against you then here are people who will be willing to share the weight of the world.

5. Get away and have spend time alone, together.
even if you have a house of your own. it is a good idea to get of the routine and go somewhere else and plan out some surprises a long the way. inhale new air, bathe in a different water, walk along in the sand together hand in hand, wake up to see the sunrise and spend quiet time together as you watch the sun set. i think it is really important to create this "common experience"that both of you made together. it something to look back for. create, "create create good memories and fill up your life album".