Seven days after

We were so busy that we didn’t enjoy the passing of our birthdays. Josephine was busier than I am of course. Last Sunday, we had a quiet simple dinner with the family and maybe that was enough. There was nothing that had happened in my birthday that is worth remembering. Maybe that was it. I admit that I got so tired that I wasn’t really expecting or even planned anything. Come what may.  Saturday evening we went to The Spa. That was something different and expensive too. I needed that massage and I can say it was better than the previous ones we had.

Going back to being 31 years old. One is always good, huh. It signifies a start of something. It is refreshing. Hmmmmm… where was I ten years ago? Why, still studying and about to graduate. I met Josephine ten years ago though there was no immediate attraction. It was just casual. I guess we started slowly because after awhile we started talking to each other and became friends and then good friends and then more than friends and then a couple and months from now as husband and wife. Ok, back to where I am again. This year I will be married. See, a start again. We were transferred to a totally new group and boss. It is good that it feels like that I mean a start of something new. I know my self very well that sometimes I just want to end something and start something new again. Like if it is somewhere in November I would wish that it would be a January soon. It has always been like that. I always tend to look forward to a new start a chance to break free an old root and be reborn and fly away somewhere different. An insatiable thirst to open a new chapter. The nearer it gets that harder to avoid focusing on it. (We also have a new term for our President). The waiting sometimes is killing me. There is this feeling of restlessness because I sometimes am paralyzed by my own doing. Waiting waiting but eventually it will come. Whether you wait or not, you become impatient or not, avoid it or not it will come in its own time.

Maybe I have to do something in my job, like changing it. Hahahahaha. Just to be consistent with myself. Right now, I don’t have a specific plan for my career. That part is what I do not like. For the past three years, it seemed that I was not able to focus on my career. First, was because of my car, last year was because of my car and my sister who was hospitalized and then this year I am more focus with our wedding preparation. There is a little bit of guilt in me because of this. I know I know my job shouldn’t be compromised but must be given proper attention also. I’m not saying through I’m being complacent but still I feel I could do more. Booh booh me. There will be better days.

It will be August next week, a new month another beginning of something.. : ) Good. Good. I will maybe start on something. Yeah, I just need to anchor on something and it will let me focus and stay in one place and be able to do properly. Aaaaaaaarggghhhhh….maybe it is because I don’t have enough motivation or not enough challenge and I am not push to the limit. Wait, about August. I wish it would end soon. Hahahahaha… it will be the feast of Assumption, we will attend the caravan and we scheduled our first wedding seminar. Still not enough activity for me. Hmmmmm… before this week ends, I will jot down what I want to do this August which would include my work.

Im still the same person that I am seven days ago. Still funny. Sometimes I want to spend a day without smiling or making others laugh or letting them feel good inside. I feel vulnerable at times because I talk too much for my own good. That’s according to me. Or I am afraid that people might not take me seriously. Hey, what else would I want to attain that’s a problem. I should ask God for help. Otherwise, I might be happy outside but deep inside I would feel hollow and without meaning. I don’t want that to happen.

I’ve started taking multivitamins with Iron, STRESSTABS!!! I’m curios to find out its effect but I am also concerned that it would make me fat. Lets see what will happen after a month of observation. I do lack sleep and Im sure my iron level is insufficient. I play basketball and badminton. That would surely burn my excess fats. I’ve cut down my carbo intake. I also have reduced significantly the bottle of softdrink I take. But for coffee. I am so sorry I can’t stop it! I still love drinking coffee. However, I am now eating my breakfast regularly. Who wouldn’t???? After being hospitalized for ulcer, whoa I do not want to have that pain anymore. Too painful.