When I woke up

My dear child,

I felt you moving inside your mommy's womb. I see. That's why she can't help but feel the sharp pains caused by your sudden movement. Your a big boy now! It was just a few sleeps ago when we first felt you. At that time it was "cute". Now, it is no joke to your mommy anymore. Your bond with your mother has started the moment you were conceived and it is developing into a very special one. Sometimes, I see her touching her tummy even though she is asleep. I know it is her way to calm you or affirming you that everything is just ok. Also, maybe she want's you to sleep because you move a lot. I also see her talking to you.

That, my son is your mother's love for you. She will always have that special connection with you that not even I will be able to understand. Her life, she is giving to you freely already while I only can but witness this love between and a mother and her son develop. Sometimes in the silence of night I fear the whole thing. I feel helpless in what you and your mom are going through. God taught me to be patient and this time He has given me a big test and that I have to wait for a whole nine months. I admit that I become restless whenever worries hit me. It is hard. I can only offer my hands and emotional support to your mom but other than that it would be between the two of you. What makes me go back to my senses? Mama Mary and Jesus.
I think of them and comfort comes. My helplessness lead me directly to Jesus' love. It is like a hotline to Him. He never fails to answer it. Fears, worries and helplessness are replaced by peace, assurance, hope and ultimately love. A love that God can only give.

Thank you my dear child. If only I can express into words what I am feeling right now. I am a man who became a husband and now a father. Do I know how to be one? No. not yet. Time will teach. While we your mom and I sometimes discuss what you will be when you grow up (I'm a parent na nga.. :) ), a lawyer, an engineer, a doctor, a la sallian, a basketball player..etc etc., we know that it couldn't be ours to plan. We will guide and support you as much as we could even if entails big sacrifices we will not mind. I only want you to grow up to be a Man of God someday. My role to you as I have imagined last night is to be a bridge between you and God. That one day you will be able to meet Him and develop a personal and special relationship with. When that comes, we will be assured that we've done our part and that we will know hat you will be alrught. May my words and actions let you see Him in me. He is afterall your real Father.

I love you my dear child. A love that I haven't felt before. It is something different. I will allow myself to jump into this river of love.... I know this is how much God loves me. That's through you. Thank you.