Book worms

I bought several books the other night. Good ones. Two books for Jaz as our Christmas gifts. I bought one for Mommy Josephine. Another one for my self and then there a "booklet" that Josephine has requested.

I bought a book, Spiritual Direction by Fr. Hneri Nouwen (though his students were the one who have made into a book) and currently reading John Olsteen's Devotional Book, Your life now. The two are compliment each other to support what I wish to be next year. 2007 is Jesus' year for me. I hope to discipline myself in acknowledging God's guidance in my life. I mean everything I do, I hope would be in accordance to God's will and desire for me and my family. My North star. Easy? I'm sure it will not be. But I'm excited. I hope that my personal relationship with God will notch up from where I am now.

Yup. That's right. All my plans, I pray will be aligned to what God wants me to do especially now that I am going to be a father. Who else could mentor me to be one but Him alone. I do want to offer Him 2007.

When I woke up

My dear child,

I felt you moving inside your mommy's womb. I see. That's why she can't help but feel the sharp pains caused by your sudden movement. Your a big boy now! It was just a few sleeps ago when we first felt you. At that time it was "cute". Now, it is no joke to your mommy anymore. Your bond with your mother has started the moment you were conceived and it is developing into a very special one. Sometimes, I see her touching her tummy even though she is asleep. I know it is her way to calm you or affirming you that everything is just ok. Also, maybe she want's you to sleep because you move a lot. I also see her talking to you.

That, my son is your mother's love for you. She will always have that special connection with you that not even I will be able to understand. Her life, she is giving to you freely already while I only can but witness this love between and a mother and her son develop. Sometimes in the silence of night I fear the whole thing. I feel helpless in what you and your mom are going through. God taught me to be patient and this time He has given me a big test and that I have to wait for a whole nine months. I admit that I become restless whenever worries hit me. It is hard. I can only offer my hands and emotional support to your mom but other than that it would be between the two of you. What makes me go back to my senses? Mama Mary and Jesus.
I think of them and comfort comes. My helplessness lead me directly to Jesus' love. It is like a hotline to Him. He never fails to answer it. Fears, worries and helplessness are replaced by peace, assurance, hope and ultimately love. A love that God can only give.

Thank you my dear child. If only I can express into words what I am feeling right now. I am a man who became a husband and now a father. Do I know how to be one? No. not yet. Time will teach. While we your mom and I sometimes discuss what you will be when you grow up (I'm a parent na nga.. :) ), a lawyer, an engineer, a doctor, a la sallian, a basketball player..etc etc., we know that it couldn't be ours to plan. We will guide and support you as much as we could even if entails big sacrifices we will not mind. I only want you to grow up to be a Man of God someday. My role to you as I have imagined last night is to be a bridge between you and God. That one day you will be able to meet Him and develop a personal and special relationship with. When that comes, we will be assured that we've done our part and that we will know hat you will be alrught. May my words and actions let you see Him in me. He is afterall your real Father.

I love you my dear child. A love that I haven't felt before. It is something different. I will allow myself to jump into this river of love.... I know this is how much God loves me. That's through you. Thank you.

little bit of sharing

Christmas is a season not only of giving gift but of eating as well! We eat and eat and eat. I remember that I gained more than five pounds last Christmas and I wasn't able to lose it anymore. Here I go again. There is literally food everywhere. Not yet over. Eating has just begun.

Praise God. We only need to control our Christmas expenses and then we are assured of being able to afford our baby's entry to the world. Thank You, Lord for all the blessings! Thank God for giving us this work. We are ready.

My thought today

We are not done yet with gift wrapping and gift giving or even buying gifts. Christmas rush, cramming! That's what we are now. Cristmas crammers! I can say that we are just half finished and because we do not have money yet for the nth part of our shopping, we are more focused on wrapping and giving gifts.

By the way, I finally have my first Starbucks' 2007 planner. Now, what am I going to use it for. For meetings, microsoft calendar is already available. For journals, I have this blog. For birthday and special occassions reminders, I have my phone to remind me and it comes with a sound.

I guess, I will go back in time when I still love using a planner. It was a must for me to have one otherwise I can't start a year. It helped so much when I was in college as I study and became very active in extracurricular activities. But now???

I will use it. :)

I am happy that I was able to settle my financial obligations. I mean, I am managing our finances better than how I did it before. I know that this skill will come in handy starting next year especially now that we are having a baby. There are still things we hope to improve next year.

Whew, what a tiring year this has been. Isn't it? I dont know about you? But for me it was. Or maybe it comes with age. Hey, I am not that old yet but I can feel fatigue creeping everyday. It is like in the afternoon all my energy has been sucked. Lesson. I have to be carefull on how I spend my energy. Useful or useless activities? At the same time, I know that I have to aim to stay fit next year. When before I can sleep late (even very late) for several days but now?? I can't. One sleepless night is equivalent to several days of restlessness. How sad?

This is one of the important lessons that I should be more conscious about next year.

I still have the interview. I thought it was dead. It is still alive and promising.

Christmas is coming in 7 days

Another year is about to end. I do am looking forward to a "NEW" year. Very new indeed for me and my wife because it will be the year when we become parents. Though, before I dismiss the remaining days of December, I'd rather make each day a good one. Hey, next week is Christmas and that is something that I shouldn't miss at all. So, 2007 please wait for awhile. I will not plan for 2007 yet. Maybe I will on December 30.

What are my Chirstmas' wishes?

1. I really pray that Josephine and our child will be healthy and safe until he comes out.
2. Digital Camera. The serious type. :)
3. 200 Gigabytes portable hard disk.
4. My pair of Christmas' levi's pants
5. New clothes (but not that many)
6. Filing cabinet (home) for all our important personal documents.
7. My Starbuck's 2007 planner (which I might claim this week).
8. Our wedding album
9. Starbuck's thermos

I guess that's about it. The first is not just a wish but more of a prayer. More than anything else I really really pray for my family to be ok. The others well, not all that important just some materialistic list which may or may not come but will not affect me so much. Some though are important like our wedding album.

Greenhills away
Last Saturday, I didn't fight it anymore but I just went along with my wife and my mother in law and braved the traffic going to Greenhills plus the additional headache of looking for a parking space. We did fine. We were able to buy a lot of stuff. We only stopped when I only had Php500 left in my wallet. Shopping isn't over yet. We will once again go to Greenhills this Saturday.

Parties everywhere

It started last week with our Dept's party. There will be a few more this week but once again we decided not to go to our company's christmas party. I think this would be the 3rd time that we won't be going. All in all we just managed to attend to two annual parties of our company.

We had a simple get together/dinner with friends last Sunday. We went to our newly wed friend's unit in Manansala. Everyone brought food. Unfortunately, Josephine and I arrived late as we had to wrap gifts in the morning, cooked food and attended the Sunday's mass. When we arrived at their place, we had a quick dinner because everybody went to the nearby starbuck's to watch George Gabriel perform.

This saturday we will have another get together with friends and this time it will be held at the De Guzman's residence.

Busy week and a busy Christmas schedule.

Your love for me

My greatest fear is to lose You
Not because You willl leave me but
Because I might fail to recognize You
That I would learn to ignore You

Sometimes I feel how will it end
That one day, I just fail to think of You
Days into weeks and then I just let myself
Be lost in this crowded world

But Your undying love, Jesus promises forever
No distance is far enough
No time is long enough
No winter is cold enough

Oh Jesus, Your love remains unchanging
Reaching out to my heart whenever I fail to see Your Face
Holding me in Your arms, embracing me

Lord, let me praise You everyday
Let me see your Glory above all else
I want to serve You and remain true to You
I want to be with You, Lord.
Everday...........