My Mind Speaking

I say a lot even if my lips are tightly sealed
Everything I could think of, no boundaries
Just me and my thought
Freedom

Some thoughts are useful and inspiring
While others are totally garbage
Some thoughts see the future
While others linger and cherish the past

Talk to yourself from time to time
Call it crazy
Call it weird
Call it everything
It is still needed

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I don't know where that it going. Today is the last day of the month of September. Wow. Two months to go and it will be the biggest event of my life. I am tying the know with my Fiancee. Yahooo.Yes!!! I am not nervous nor worried about leaving my bachelor life. Actually, I want to leave it and start a new life. I'm done being single. I don't find joy nor any satisfaction anymore. Time to move on and I am blessed that it is about to happen.

Life is a cycle. I've already witnessed the different stages and even eperienced the early stages of life (obviously).

FIRST STAGE : Birth. FINAL STAGE : DEATH. That's about it. It's what you did between the two stages that will define your life. (As a Catholic, I do believe in life after death and our true destiny is to be with our Creator.) If my life span is around 70 years. then I only have less than 40 years to live. hmmmmm. not bad it is far but I'm already reaching half of my life. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....
There is always a possibility that life could end abruptly. Sickness, accident or being victim of crimes. We have a short life here on earth, come to think of it. It is just right therefore to enjoy every minute you have. Because it would be a waste of time to indulge on things that wouldn't add value to your life.(my thought).

hey, i started something here that should be given proper concentration.... i don't have that now, so i will stop this. sorry.

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NEXT PLEASE. Tomorrow maybe

Not an ordinary day

The World is crying in pain and in surrender
Look around and you will see why
Wait, can you still see and feel it?

Can you see the children in the street
Begging for anything just to survive?
Sadly, it is happening everywhere

Wars, why can't they just stop
and make life more valuable than any principle or belief
Aren't we tired of fighting and for what?
Stop! even for one day

Are we afraid of peace so much that we set it aside?
Focusing more on development
But what about peace?
Why can't nation work together to attain it

I envision a day without fighting
Children smiling, playing freely
I see people holding hands
Creating bridges rather than burning one

There is hope. A better tomorrow for everyone to see
Love yourself. Love the person in side your own home.
Love your neighbor. Love the sick. Love the lonely
Love the poor and the needy.

Let's start walking hand in hand
Let's eat together as one family
Let's heal the world with this love
We all have it inside our heart

See it for yourself

Pure Joy

NO LONGER NEEDED. Two months from now, I will no longer need to sleep in my car in the morning or evening while waiting for Josephine. I mentioned this in my previous entry. I can't help it. I mean like this morning I had a two hours of sleep inside my car. It's color coding today so I had no choice but to go to the office early. Man. I went home at two in the morning. I realized that for so many years I have deprived myself of good, long quality sleep. This is about to change. Thank goodness. I will no longer need to drive since the condo is just about two blocks away from our office. No more need to experience the morning rush hour. Imagine if everyday I spend like three hours of driving which translates to twenty one hours a week or a good eighty four hours a month. Imagine that's also three and half days a month multiply by twelve that's a good forty two days of driving. Inefficient. Isn't it? You can do so much in forty two days. Wasted time. I can also give my car a deserving rest. I don't have to worry so much of driving home in the wee hours of the morning feeling so sleepy. Sometimes when I am driving the things around me aren't real. It's like I am dreaming. What else? I don't have to wait for Josephine. I can go home early and watch tv maybe. If she goes home very late then I just have to drive a very short distance. Wow! I also do not have wake up too early on weekends unless it is needed. My Josephine will be with me. so no more driving from Marikina to Paranaque which consume so much gasoline.

Nothing to say

NINE TWENTY FOUR AM. That's the exact time I arrived today. Better. Better. I left at around eight am and I already surrendered to the fact that I was going to be late again today. Miracle of miracles, I didn't. (Was I able to unplug my celfone charger? -oooohh mr. forgetful me. but i think i did.) There was really no heavy traffic except when i entered the central business district. important thing is that im on time and that's about it.

X MARKS ON MY CALENDAR. ok it wasn't my own idea. I saw my colleague doing it and it looked.....nothing. i just want to write something on my table calendar. If I didn't then it will be just thrown away at the end of the year as if it wasn't used at all. Then my calendar would have lead a boring life. A clean calendar isn't beautiful but if you put notes, signs and other codes then you've transformed it to something else. what am I discussing???? It helps to see how many days are left in a given month and how many days have passed and how many more days to go before our wedding. Only nine days left and September 2004 is over. that's what my calendar is telling me. When October comes....

BADMINTON FEVER. We did fine last night. I enjoyed the game. I don't have the slightest idea whether im stil improving or not. of course i did if i compare it on how i played last year but it seems i reached plateau. there is a change in my mental attitude. before it was just playing and i didn't care much whether i win or not. i just played the game. Today it is not, i want to win every game which means i have to focus and i have to help my partner but sometimes it does irritate me when my partner commits unforced error. it is a good exercise physically. it burns calories for sure and a lot cheaper than going to gimmicks every friday.

The same thing

TEN TWENTY FIVE AM. Here we go again. Another day. And Im already irritated and stressed! How I hate my Marikina. The traffic could kill you instantly what's more bothering is that the longer you stay in my Marikina the heavier the traffic would be in other locations. How I look forward to the day when I am free to leave my Marikina. Freedom! It is near! November 27 to be exact. Just the thought of it gives a certain high. That's how badly I want to leave my Marikina. Don't get me wrong. Marikina has changed and improved a lot. Cleaner, safer good roads(?) but but but but I've been living in Marikina for so long and maybe I am really bored with the community.

TWELVE TWELVE PM. Now is the time to eat. : )

ONE FIFTY EIGHT PM. Im back from a good lunch. Fair enough. The weather is quite crazy. Sunny, rainy and sunny again then it rains. What could I expect, it's still rainy season. I am keen on trasnfering but it must be somewhere I feel I would grow. Right now, right here I can't see anything in the coming future. Just the same thing every given day. I am again sleepy like yesterday. I hope it wouldn't be that bad just the feeling but I can still function normally. A few more hours and I will leave this crappy place. How could I improve my attitude? This predicament is negatively affecting me. I don't know how to get out of this slum except through transfering to another department. Where? Please tell me.

Random Thoughts

BECAUSE of stupidity I lost my entry for this day. HR asked me to open our corporate website ASAP. So I did only to find out that it had to launch on the same window where my blog is. I had no choice. When I went back my entry has already been erased. I lost one whole page. Now I have to start again somewhere.

CHRISTMAS was the last topic I wrote I think. Yes, it is Christmas and for me it would be a different one. I will be sharing it with someone already. I mean before it was all family and friends but now it will be with a wife. Yes! A different Christmas. I am excited in a way because we can spend it according to what we want and how we want to spend it. It won't be how our immediate family usually celebrate Christmas. Of course, we will still go to family gathering. I also like that. We will see. The sun is different during when Christmas comes. His ray doesn't hurt nor is it annoying in ones eye. The obvious indicator that it is Christmas is of course how cold it is during morning. Just a day ago I can sleep stright without a blanket but now I have to reach out for one. It is starting to get cold. Then the Christmas decor all around will make sure that you won't forget a single day that Christmas is near. I like Christmas because most people are happy especially the children. A time when people are willing to spend just to buy gift for people closest to their heart (or gifts for everybody as along as you extra money)

SUPER SLEEPY. Lack of sleep and too much activity last weekend. Now I am fighting to stay awake. Welcome back Marvin from the land of wonderland. I am waking up slowly. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....... it is 2:30pm

FANTASTIC. We visited a condo unit last Friday and it was really beautiful. I like it. We both like it. Our friend also gave us a good price so I guess we would at least spend a year living in a condo unit. No problem. It's actually a dream come true. I mean your home, just a few blocks away from your office. I don't need to bring the car. I don't have to wake up early to go to work. I don't have to bear the morning and late afternoon rush hour. I don't have to go home very late and not feeling relax in my own bed. It is near my favorite mall, a church etc etc etc. In other word, it is perfect. I will be living there starting November 27 and on December 2 I will be with my wife. Yahooooooo..: ) I don't have to sleep alone anymore. Though, I don't mean to say that I have an issue sleeping alone but to sleep and live life with the person whom you love. That's something else! What a life! This would be the best Christmas in my life so far. We will have another visit tomorrow. The first one caught us unprepared. I mean we were drooling because we were so awed that we would actually lived in that beautiful unit. By the way, maybe for some it would something ordinary but for us it won'tbe. Because, that would be the first time that me and Josephine would be living together under the same roof. This start is good.

BE PATIENT. I should stop myself from visiting other blogs even for curiosity sake. Why? Because theirs are created with artistic sense. Mine, a layout from somewhere. How can they do that? It frustrates me really. I have no time now but later on I will learn how to do it. Sme features are easy since I only have to download it but to create something on your on which could speak for you. In which other people could feel your character, personality. One day I will be able to do so.

FOUR THIRTEEN PM. You know what it means. It means I've written long enough and I am not doing anything. hehehehehehe... Oh, Im starting to hate this job. Save me somebody please! That's a different topic. Two hours and seventeen minutes to go and work is over here at SMART. Thank God Monday is finish! I will attend the prayer meeting tonight. I think I missed three already which means I haven't seen the people for quite sometime already. I like being in a community though I am not that committed but I still want to be part of it. Time to give worship to God. I hope I will hear Him tonight and see what He wants from me.

OH, MY JOB MY JOB. I have so much to say about what is happening in my career right now. I have many stories, blah blah and blah but maybe I won't say it. All Im hoping is that something happens to me in the coming weeks or months. I can forsee the future in this group. Though the task isn't challenging still it is not in my best interest to celebrate a not so challenging job. I feel I will just rot and get old in what Im doing now but the thing is Im still young. There is a slim chance of transfering back to Marketing where all the action are. I hope God would grant my request. There a chance but if God doesn't want me to move then I suppose it is good to stay here. I will leave it up to faith. I like to transfer if you ask me. I will not deny it. Right now, Im craving for something new in my job. I have done my part looking for new places but at the end I still want that God would bless what ever happens. That is more important to me than anything else. Nothing happened to me in this position this year. Wala. Zero. Nothing. I didn't gain anything, worst I feel I lost so many things. Even my simple place I don't have it. Ihad to swallow my pride and hoping it wont choke me. But the situation is killing me. My job is not a job.

END.

Thirty One Entries

The more I write here the more I am enjoying it.

Im 90% healthy. What an ordeal that I had to bear for several days! I thought I was dying as I was already thingking of terrible things. It gave me a hard time sleeping because at the back of my mind I was thinking I might not wake up anymore. Foolish.

I just saw the under 40 rich people of America. Men, how could they do that? It would probably take me a lifetime just to earn USD1,000,000.00. Maybe I won't. Though I am challenged by it. It is like, you know the usual cliche "If they can do it so can I..". I just need one good break, great timing and lots of perseverance. Im sure I will. I will I will I will I will I will I will I will.

I just need these two words to guide me all through out. But above all I will always ask for God's guidance. The day will come eventually. To be rich in something I want to do and in a way that could positively influence others in the long run.

Just two and half months to go and I will be married! *smiling* I like the thought of being married and I wouldn't mind spending countless hours discussing from non sense matters to what the meaning of life. I wouldn't mind holding her hands each day and each night for years and years to come. Nor would I mind getting old just being with her. I love her and I wouldn't trade my place to anyone or for anyone.

Im getting bored with job. I admit it fair and square.

Next year it will be a debt free year! No more loans except for the car which I still have to pay for the next three years. Other than that I will not incur anymore debts but I will rather look on ways how to expand my resources. I am tired having so many loans to take care of. Though, I appreciate experiencing it and learning from it. But I will change focus instead. I must learn how to find ways of earning other than my monnthly pay. I did earn something significant this year but I want it to be more consistent. No more debts I promise! It would be save and save and just save!

Sick poor me

Ive been sick since Tuesday and I hate every minute of it. I don't like being sick. It deprives me of so many activities and it is so frustrating. But why am I sick? Too tired, lack of rest, over fatigue, stressed. I think it is just my body telling me to STOP. Alright. But I do not want to be sick forever. May be a day or two is ok more than that Im going to be insane. Especially now that it Friday. Under normal circumtances, im suppose to play badminto tonight. Obviously, I can't. Then it is really hard for me to drive myself home so I had to ask my sister to drive for me which also means I can't wait for Josephine. See how being sick could ruin your schedule.

Im lost. I admit it. I don't know what direction to follow with my career. There is nothing much to do here except the thing I want to do. I mean no more projects or anything new. Same old crap. I thirst for new challenges. What keeps me going of course is the fact that I have to go on whether I like it or not. This is far more better than doing nothing. At the same time, Im going to be married soon. Im really looking forward. It would be a change and maybe that I am longing for right now. Two months from now and it would be the greatest event of my life after graduating from college. : )

Should we rent a condo near our office or do we dilegently go home to Marikina everynight! Those who vote for a condo, raise your hand!!! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!!!!
I just can't imagine myself living there in our old Marikina. I've been there for so many years and there is nothing in it really. The traffic is something else, bad roads and our house itself. Full of negativity. I must go so let's see.

got to go now.