A day to remember

(December 1, 2004)
When it all started.............
She caught me in a tight embrace
Me, like a kid seeking attention from someone
Wanting so much to be acknowledged
One big embrace changed it all

What happened afterwards............
She became a very good friend
My constant companion eversince
Someone who helped me see what it is like to be me
To be just who I am

What can I say...........
Thank you my dear Josephine
For the love that have uplifted me for so many years
A love that keeps on growing
I am so loved because of you

How do I feel..............
But pure happiness whenever we are together
Sadness left me when you came into my life
The world and all its turmoil and chaos stop
Whenever you are in my arms

Whenever we are far away..........
You are still in my heart
Distance has nothing to d0 with our love
I think of you and feel that warmth of being loved
I long to see you in which anticipation defies time and space

What's in a simple day.....
Each day allows me to know you more and more
How beautifully made you are
How blessed I am to listen to your stories
To learn from you and end my day beside you

What about the future........
Holding hands, laughter all around
I am but happy to grow old with you
Our white hairs, wrinkled faces, weak knees
What a happy life it would be

What love is......
I love you Josephine and no other
I will remain faithful to you as God wants me to
I will cherish each day and keeping it close to my heart
I will acknowledge God's presence in our marriage
Upto the end, it will only be you

My Prayer

Lord, thank you so much for my wife Josephine. I prayed years and years for a lifetime companion and You first helped me realize that it could only be You. You've sent Josephine into my life so we could walk together and be with you one day. As we travel, we will allow others to join us through You.

I am continuously amaze by Your works Lord especially in our married life. In my mind, in my heart I can see and feel You Lord. Being our Lord and Father helping us nourish this gift. Here we Lord, completely adoring You. Completely trusting You.

Above all. You are our Lord and King. In you, we offer this simple life. We allow You Lord to mold us to become true Christian couple. That Your light may shine upon us that we may be worthy to lead other couple into Your loving arms. Use us Lord as You please.

Thank you Lord for I have seen and became part of a great plan. You lead us into marriage. From day one until this day Father, You are present. We have experienced so much joys and great trials. Yet, You never changed. You din't blink an eye. You show us the way.

Teach me Lord to be more God fearing husband to my wife. That in misunderstanding, I would learn to be man enough to listen to my wife instead of pursuing my own. Humble me whenever I commit any wrondoings. Teach me to say I'm sorry. Lord, as the days go by let me not forget the commitment I gave to my wife on our wedding. Teach me more to remain faithful and pure to her. I am but still a beginner in this new life.

Let me be always gentle to her and take good care of her as I should. Seeking more to serve her rather than be served. Create days for us Lord that would silence our hearts and draw us near to You. In all Father, I pray that I may be a Man of God to her.

Amen

zzzzzz

Living without God id not living at all. Last night, I felt the presence of God through the prayer meeting and I felt at peace again. I am not saying that I'm having problem or something but i can distinctly feel the difference before and after the prayer meeting. Bottom line, there was peace.

Josephine and I are now following a different routine. A new one! We now go to office together and go home together. I wake up at 6:00 am then I wake her up at 6:30am we leave our house at 7:00m. I drive while Josephine may either go back to wonderland or talk to me. Either way, I have no problem. When there is still enough time, we sleep inside the car for awhile then go to office 15min before my time.

Anyway, so far we are doing just fine. --------------(i'm not motivated to write further. maybe later. ) Sign off.

Traveller

I came back from a week long business trip in Cebu. What did I get out of it? Maybe 10lbs!!! I can feel it. I feel my back will curve forward because of the weight it needs to support. I can feel my face so round and chubby. Arrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It is so difficult to lose wait. I have done it before and I guess I have to start all over again. This is like playing snakes and ladders. I was almost there at the end of it all. My destined weight! But one week of eating good food from breakfast to lunch to dinner plus the snacks made me slide down back to numero 1.

I don't like it. I will trim down again to an acceptable level. I'm sure it will be difficult because of Christmas season festivities. Parties, Reunions, Weddings etc etc.., How on earth will be able to stay away from good food. Ok, the key is to eat just enough. Just a little of everyting. But that got me into trouble. A little of this. A little of that. I end up eating a big portion. huhuhuhuhu....

I must control my food intake especially during dinner. Eat less Mr. Agustin! Eat less...

Here's the list of where I have been. I have to remember these things.
Local and International
1991 : HongKong
1992 and 1993 :USA - Houston, Texas; New Jersey; New York; Atlantic City; Philadelhia; Buffalo, New York; Virginia; Pensylvania
2002: Puerto Azul
2003: Brussels and Antwerp Belgium; A little of France ; Puerto Gallera; Sagada Mt.Province
2004: Dos Palmas, Palawan; Boracay
2005: Bagiuo; Bohol; Cebu; Macau; HongKong; Singapore

I do like traveling in spite of the fact that I really hate flying. I feel so helpless inside a plane when it is above the clouds already. Especially when there is turbulence. That's one of my fears! Being helplessly inside "something". Elevators or the thought of being buried alive. And yes in real life I don't a situation when I feel trap. Enough of this.


I always believe Agustin's are destined to travel the world and see places and people. I wasn't able to escape it. My brother didn't. All of us had its share of travelling. Going to other countries is good. One will be able to see what is really happening in the different parts of the world. Yeah, one can always suggest that our country is the best and I will not argue with that. Philippines can boast so much to the world. It is just Manila and our dear government would make me think twice about staying forever. Though, I still don't have nothing against it. Maybe my thought of traveling (internationally) is beyond political or economical reasons. It is so nice to see not just places where once upon a time were just being shared to me by others or have seen in book or movies but actually to interact with other people listen to them, observe them and learn from them. I sure realized a thing or two and whenever I am in a different country I've learned to respect their ideas, values cultures and everything that would differentiate my mindset from them. Totally new. I do not need also to conform anything but I've learned to be open. Wow.

Until tomorrow.

Unsolicited Displaced empathy for a friend

A sad ending isn't what I intended
But I decided to stay behind
Later, I will have enough strength to move on

I know it will be without you
I understand too that I might not be remembered
Gone. But you will never be forgotten

We've had our days of laughter and woes
Years fortified our friendship with respect, honesty and love
I didn't get it but I am now overwhelmed by my feelings

I have to let you go and see my self as a whole being again
Someday I will. When I look in the mirror
I will be made a complete person but not now

You leaving left a big space in my heart
I never realized at first but it is there
Silence. I can just hear my heart fading away

Drifting away, leaves falling on the ground
Winds blow away the remaining life in me
Clouds come and go and I can just look

Maybe when our eyes meet once more
Maybe when I let you go, you will turn around and see me
Maybe the days will let me
But the cruelty of truth, I can only be with you in my past

Here and there filled with memories of you
I don't know where else can I go. Where to start.
How could you? or Why did I?

Answer will not come anymore
And now that you are gone
I have to say goodbye, my friend

2006, here we come!!!

With just a little two months to go, we will enter a new era. A beginning of something. That's for me who sees a beautiful future for all of us. God is with us. Yesterday, He was there alright with all the testimonies I've heard from so many renewed people and from my own simple persocal experience with Jesus. He is here right now. Otherwise, we wouldn't feel comfortable with the decisions we've made. Be it a major one or just plainly cute decisions. I feel at peace knowing that God helped me arrived to these decisions. He will be in our future. This is my faith. This is what I believe in. This is my hope. So, mix it up put some prayers and love and then there you go. A beautiful wonderful future with God.

His plans will never fail. I remember how I struggle in my career. Where I am now is not the product of how I worked, my so-so academics, how I relate to people or boss. All this I can attribute to God alone. I was a banker for my first six month as a tax contributor then I came back to La Salle and entered the world of academic community. Nope, I didn't teach but was involved more in the formation of student leaders. I admit I wasn't that mature yet as I crawled on my feet during those times. I had so many personal issues. My family was the heaviest then my ex-gf, finances, career and just when everything was clouded, I wasn't able to renew my contract.... Tough luck. I knew that God was telling me something and before I can hear Him clearly, He wanted me to sort some things in my life. Whew, I survived! After my DLSU stint I was without a job for eight long months. Really, God clipped my wings and grounded me. Then I became an insurance agent then account manager of a radio station. I was moving so fast from one job to another that other people started noticing it. I was scared of my future as people older than me gave me a bleak picture. They made their own canvass out of their imagination and painted my future. I don't blame them they can't understand what I was doing then.

I will share to you a secret. I really didn't know. BUT I never dared to change job without prayers. God guided me and He was the one who lead me to these jobs whether I liked it or not. I'm telling you because of these jobs I had I was able to meet good people along the way. These are my angels!Anates became my client in Ayala Gen who pirated me. Then I met Homer (he was also the one who told me that SMART will be my bread and butter) in RJ who lead me to I-Quest where I met my now Ninang Tina and Michael Di Cicco. Was it my decision to pursue an advertising job? Nope. I was traumatized! But as I have said I met good people who looked after me. Treating me as their own and not as an officemate (Bing, June, Victoria..etc).

In I-Quest I was entrusted with big responsibilities and helped me gain my lost confidence. I moved there not without a prayer. So I followed God without knowing anything about the internet. My life then started to change. I felt at home and received the guidance I've been looking for. Tina, Dana, Bolo,Rica and my friends created a learning, peaceful environment to me. Eventually, my experience here became a key for me to be accepted in SMART.

I love my job. I know I can do more. In spite of the things that had happened, I continue loving it. My boundaries have opened wide. Literally. The Agustins are really travelling people and created to roam the world. If I go back to my lolo's, cousins, aunties, uncles and my father, they all travelled.

God is not even finish yet. I am looking forward to new tomorrow. Why? God is still there!

Not my usual Monday

My muscles are aching until now after participating in a badminton tournament. Our score is 1-1. Not bad but definitely not safe. Actually, our standing will also be determined by our Team's performance. If the other members win then it would be good. Opposite is true if some do not win games. For my personal goal, I just wish that we win the last three (3) games. I don't think it is all too impossible. We just need a good strategy in order for us to control the game. Like what we did in the first game.

Sometimes I know I an obssesive-compulsive person (OC) but not consistently. There are just moments when I can't stand disorder and even if I am so tired I have this strong desire to clean up the source of my discomfort. Cluttered places, dirty comfort room, messy cabinets.. etc., I know it is just normal to clean but sometimes I am overwhelmed by this feeling that despite being tired I still exert all my remaining energy to clean. Why? I want to sleep soundly. Because at times, I can still see the messy places inside my head. Aaaaaaaarrgghhhhhhhhhh........... and I end up being restless at night. especially dirty comfort rooms....

Anyway, that's what my wife and I are doing for the past days. Since we really do not have enough time, we just clean little by little. (hhmmmmmm.. this is a "little bit" acceptable to me.) Though, I can assure you, the things I need to clean are always inside my mind. Our room is 70% clean. The comfort room is just maybe 35%. That's a source of stress to me. Tonight, I will scrub some more. scrub scrub scrub scrub.... Believe it or not, I find fulfillment whenever I finish something. Someday, when we have a house of our own we will make sure that our guests will see that we are tidy and orderly people by just merely looking around. You really do not know the impression you create when you invite people to your place. They won't tell you but definitely they will share it to others...hahahahahaha.

We don't have cable subscription yet. So far, it is just fine but eventually we will need to have one. When we notice that we can not relate to any of our friends anymore in regards to what they are watching. We have limited channels so we can probably spend some days watching korean drama, showbiz talk shows, local news, pba, or anything that gma 7 and abs cbn can offer. Though, we can also just watch dvds or listen to music.

Finally, I have a lap top mouse. My hands are still adjusting since I am not used to having one anymore. Just a simple mouse.

I ended up sleeping and watching tv yesterday. But the bulk of my time was really spent sleeping. Josephine and I stayed at her sister place where we recupirated from a very hectic week (or months even). Well, we need a rest since we still have busy schedules until December. Busy but happy. We will keep our selves busy because an idle mind is the devil's playground. Scary!!! We were supposed to be fishing yesterday but it was cancelled which I will not explain here anymore. Sayang talaga!!

This week's schedule:Monday, work and prayer meeting. Tuesday, work and Badminton. Wednesday, work only. Thursday, work only so far. Friday, work only so far. Saturday, badminton the whole day. Sunday, mass, rest, cleaning time and prepare for my trip the following day. Ooops, I also must check in my car for some repairs.

Ok. I have to end this and attend a very long meeting with new topics.

BITIN

In spite of my busy schedule, I somehow appreciate life better than when I was just like floating around. Time of resting is over but time of pursuing is at hand. Within me I know I can achieve great things. That, I am a fighter, a warrior. There is no turning back or freezing time. No time to be fear anything at all. Be courageous and be bold of my plans. I declare this period as winning time!

A different day

It was exactly last year when I first stayed at our first home. A month after Josephine and I got married. Now, Alpha S 1011 will officially be part of our past. We definitely enjoyed staying in this place as we entertained our families and friends. We shared this home to people who are close to us. I think we never missed a week without visitors and our last one was our family, my in-laws. We learned the how-to-entertain-guest from our Ninang Tina. They were great hosts when we visited them in HK.

I know that our friends also enjoyed their visit in our place. We played Taboo (I experienced shortness of breath because of laughing so hard). We watched Friends (which I missed when I was in college). Or we spent the night eating. It was convenient also for us that our office is just a few blocks away from Alpha S and I never had to contend with traffic, rising gas prices or looking for cheaper parking.

But, we have to move on. If you ask us, we want to stay in Alpha S or just move to a cheaper unit but just Alpha 1 and Alpha 2. In one of the prayer meetings we attended, God re-affirmed to me (us) His undying love. His commitment. He asked us to obey Him. God revealed that we go and be with our family even if we don't know what it would mean to us. Definitely, it is good. After hearing it, my struggles faded and died. I felt at peace and empowered. Yeah, we have valid concerns and some petty issues. These don't matter anymore. We prayed and God gave us the answers. The answers might not be good music to our ears and against our personal plans but His voice changed everything. I will follow God and won't delay it. When I said yes to God, I said it sincerely. Not because of anything but because of God alone.

So, I am looking forward to our second chapter. Chapter 1 has ended will all its comedy, drama and suspense and chapter 2 promises more. God is the author and I am certain that it will be a hit, a best seller...New York Times... Chicago Tribune.. or what have you.

I will be busy this November which I am sure is part of the package. Worrying about our transfer then shouldn't be entertained anymore because we have other responsibilites that needed our attention. We followed Christ and so looking back and hanging on will not be part of our system anymore.

Tomorrow, will be a different day!