my living saint

You have the purest of heart. I have known you for more than a decade already and never have I felt that you are hiding anything from me nor from others. Your intention is always for the welfare of others. Really. Your genuine care for others isn't pretensions nor for any other reason but it just that. You are concern. Sometimes I can’t catch up with you but it doesn’t deter you from serving. You are generous more than you think you are and I see it. Sometimes, I want to give up on people, I want to think for myself ourselves, or get angry at you for giving without limits. Yet, the word of God always struck me and become my basis for your actions. I follow. I know it is God who is moving you.Just weeks ago, we were trying to decide whether to give money or not. Though, I guess I was the only one who was trying to decide since you already have an answer. You didn’t push the issue nor give me a litany of whys... But God spoke directly as he said that we help as much as we could without thinking of what we can get out of it. He has given us enough and we will never have less or more. True. So, I followed. Then God also mentioned about the thorn in the flesh and that made me realize why we have to do be in some situations when sometimes I want to get out of it. I know you know what I mean.Going back to you. You are a good person. very good. I am blessed that you are my wife. I am forever grateful to God that we are together in this life. I am humbled by your heart that is cut for service. I have read about saints or people who are good example of living a Christian life but now, I realized that I have that person beside me. A good wife, mother, daughter and friend. You want to give as much as you can and that is the reason why our life together is blessed as well.Yeah, that's the reason why I let you buy something for yourself. I know that if I say no, you will follow me. I know that if someone ask you to help them, you will give rather buy something for yourself. That's the reason why you keep on asking me if you can buy this or that because you are not used to it. It is easier for you to give than to think for your self. I see that so I give you a chance to have what ever you want as long as we can afford it. You treat it as a gift for you and it has more meaning that way.You are an inspiration to me. I see in you how it should be to be a good family person. That family comes first no matter what. That if there is someone who knocks, we should let the person in and help. You inspire me to be clear with my intention and be sincere. I sometimes read books to be inspired and learn from great men/women who are showing the way. But here you are my dearest wife. I am a witness to these great things. I see you and what you have done and why you are doing it. Definitely, one can only continue to show generosity if one possesses a pure and sincere heart.Thank you for being a light to me and allowing me to see Christ in you.

Two Leaves Falling

I stood there with all the memories rushing to come back
The exact ground where we throw our marbles or bottle caps
The corners where we hid on cloudless but moon lit nights playing hide and seek.


I walked and remembered where we used to run endlessly
Where we sometimes gather and exchange our amazing stories
I can still see the different animals that had been part of our childhood


I sat underneath a tree where we spent our afternoon
The trees that provided us,children food during summer breaks

The trees that witnessed the changes that took place
They silently hold all the memories that maybe one day we will try to recapture

It is all different now.
No more children running.
No more shouting, laughing or even crying.
Just the barking dogs.
Just a couple of trees that remained standing


Sometimes we have been too far and then remember things
The way it had been but there is no turning back
Life is just about remembering and moving forward
It isn't as easy as I realize now


Can I embrace a moment for awhile and cherish it until I am ready to let go?
I guess not. Everything will just eventually move.
There is no standstill. No second chance.
A day is created for a day and tomorrow is already different.


I am witnessing my child growing and only two years have passed since his birth
I am sure in due time I will go back to his first two years and lovingly remember
what is happening now.
Maybe a tear will eventually fall
There is no turning back so today is what I have.
Today is the treasure that I will open in the future.


Today is what I cherish, being with my family
I can not go back nor look back for too long
This is what I have.

Polo- visit my FB for more.. :)

With Kuya Ethan
Diving in stones

Thinking what's next

I think this is cool

I really think so..

Lessons in Vienna Austria

First, I've learned to use a train rather than the more comfortable taxis. Crazy, I was informed by our hotel that it could cost me as much as Euro18 to go to the BARG meeting venue while a train just cost me Euro1.70.

The funny thing is that I have different eperiences in the three (3) days that I used the train. First day, I asked the front desk for a direction and she exlained it clearly and so with a map on my hand I confidently board a train. After 20min or so I was already in Karlplatz. I didn't that much but I just went out of the station believing it was like an MRT where as soon as get out it would be easy to go where ever you want. I was wrong. The was landmark the front lady told me was no where in sight. I had to open my big map and then I had to ask people. I did. Maybe I asked three people. They told me where but all of them wanted me to take a tramp. I said I want to walk. You know be familiar with the place and see Vienna by foot. At last the last guy told me that at the end of the block I will see Mcdonald's then I turn right. McDO??? now that sounds familiar. So, I did and then ask few more people until I finally arrived. No sweat literally. It was cold so it was good for walking.

The second day. Karlplatz and I said I will not get lost again. But lo and behold, when I stepped out of the station it was a different place all together. I had to look for that damn Mcdo. Whew.. I had to ask and ask until I found my way. Faster than it was the other day.

The third day. Naah, I wont get lost anymore and then I was with my colleague so no more problem. I spoke fast. When we arrived and step out of the station. IT WAS RAINING!! hahahahahahaha.... We waited and waited and actually went inside a school campus for shelter. It seemed that the rain wouldn't stop so we decided to take a cab.

The whole time I was in Vienna was like being in a gym. Just walking and walking and walking for more until the last day. The food wasn't good at all. Filipino food is still the best. C'mmon not let me eat binagoongan, lechon kawali, sinigang na baboy etc etc., hmmm, now I am hungry. Well, I am happy with the experience.

The real and very important learnings happened on the second day. I was tired the night before because we ate very late in a fancy restaurant (for free, but the food wasn't that recommendable but the ambience of that place was different and so it made me buy a bottle of wine and I hope iy would reach the Philippines in good shape). Different time zone and got tired with all the walking with a very heavy laptop bag. Anyway, in the afternoon the blue bug hit me. Yeah, I was feeling sad and maybe homesick and drain with all the presentations and meetings I had. This made me feel a little bit intimidated and so at the end of the sessions, I was really in the right disposition. I needed an open space.

I walked and saw that people were going inside a very old gate. I came in and it made me laugh inside because it was a university and people stared at me. An Asian guy lost in a crowd of Austrian students. I prentended that I wasn't lost but Im sure they figured it out. Then I went inside another gate. I got my open space. It was the Belvedere. Wow. I mean wow! Huge.. anyway, I sat down and relaxed a bit and took some pictures and decided to come back the following day. Ok, I wasn't really feeling well yet. blue blue blue... my world was blue. Then I saw a church. The doors were open. But I wasn't sure yet that it was a Catholic church. Then I saw the pictures of the late Pope John Paul II and that of Mother Mary. I felt it. I was home. It was God's grace that I was there. Right there and then a tear fell off. I was sad and homesick and He called me. That's how much God loves me. He knew me inside and outside. He knew I needed some rest. How I felt His love and how it changed what I was feeling. I saw just maybe five people and realized that the Priest was preparing for the Mass. I decided to stay. I didn't understand a word because everything was in German. I just went a long. That night I opened the bible and I was struck with reading in Psalms for that day. You know, the trees are planted on a stream.. something like that. See. He refreshed me and gave me enough energy and positive feeling to end a week long journey. Going back to the mass. God was in Austria as He is in the Philippines. He was in Slovenia and anywhere I went. I know He can speak in German but He made sure to tell me in English and Filipino how everything will be alright and that He was there for me. Amen. He was with me all the time.

Ok.. there are other learnings but I am starting to get dizzy. I can't wait to get home and see Josephine and my dear son, Polo. :)

To Vienna with work....and fun

Day One:

Nope. I am not yet there. I just landed from Manila to HK and waiting for the real flight. This is nothing compares to the more than 15hrs of flight time which will start in about an hour and half. PAL had some problem with the landing gears so talk and we got delayed by 30 minutes. Then, in the runway it wasn't smooth at all. It was like there potholes everywhere so yeah I admit I got scared as usual. I prayed and prayed. The plane took off and then we encountered turbulence. AAAAAAhhhhhhhh.. talk about my first experience in business class (actually second :) ). Just imagine my face turning white as all my blood was evaporating and I do not where it was going. I prayed again and asked to please shield us from the wind. That did it. It stopped. I can just imagine how the apostles felt when the storm calmed down when Jesus commanded it to stop. Yeah, I pretty sure we had the same experience. Cool dudes. :)

I was in Mabuhay Lounge in Manila now I am at the Cathay Pacific Business Lounge. Cool for a simple guy. Though, in the past days I did maybe something that I never did before. I shopped like my wife but mine was more expensive. All these branded items from laptop bags, wallet, gloves, scarf, ballpen to passport holder etc etc aren't really my thing because deep inside me I knew that I spent a lot for this trip. Pardon me. My intention is just to be at least presentable to my counterparts. I dont want to feel so off. I am there not just for myself but for my company and of course I also represent the Philippines. Ey dont get me wrong. Though I said branded items these are not the top of the line. Just simple items that for simple Filipinos like I am are already considered branded. :). I am happy.

Ok. That's about it for today... I have to psyche myself for now... :)

That "Ber-feeling" is here

Pool time with friends. Kuya Ethan and Maia.
Ethan explaining and Polo giving his Mom a look on why they can still play in the pool
Kid-made-little-tidal waves

Yup. I love swimming.
Hmmm. which should I play next....
Just another day at work
My own version of rain
Co workers busy

Happy eating
What else will I eat?
Hide and seek

Papa cooked these.

Papa Bin Papa Babin Pa Bin

The other day Polo shouted in full volume my name. He wanted me to get his toys from the cabinet. Of course, his request had his unique version of saying "PLEASE"..... What made me laugh was when he called me by my name. Hahahahahahaha... I heard him before calling me Marvin, not perfect but it was still Marvin. I thought then that he would not like be the other children who had a hard time prouncing Marvin. Then again, Polo just called and kept on calling me Papa Bin especially if it is with great urgency for him. Sometimes he would even grab my hand and lead me where he wants to be. That's my son. I like it. If you want anything say it. hahahahahahaahahaha.. At least he is not calling me Pappy anymore. May he realize that we are not dogs or he hasn't seen wowowie lately.

All of the sudden we are now concern about the price of his diapers, baby wipes and soap. They are very every expensive. When he was still a baby, it was hard because of his sensitive skin but now, we are ready to try the cheaper ones. Php12 per diaper.. that's expensive.. :) We will try to use the more affordable ones. That's not a problem. But we wish not to save on his milk or food. We will give want we can. Polo's diet, lots of fruits, juice, rice, bread and how he loves pop corn... he eats anything though it also depends on how it is presented. He likes rice so much. He would say, "rice" rice" rice.. and if he wants something.. he would say...like like like... if he gets what he wants.. he has this "excited" expression and body language that a parent would always want to see.. :) He is really adorable and sweet. I came home late one evening. He woke up in the middle of the night and saw me beside him. Polo sat and then lay down on my chest. It was like he was telling me. "My daddy is here at last" After a few minutes, he went to his mom to sleep. Touching that even if he woke me up, I still felt loved by this little kid.

Our kids have this power over us. A positive one. I know everyone agress how they can wipe away the stresses of life, refresh tired bodies, warm up a sad and cold heart. That's how they are. Pure love exists through them from God. I actually still can't believe that I already have a child of my own. I am enjoying everyminute of it. He isn't just a friend who came across my path. He is our child. Wow. Thank God. Praise God. To hear him call me Papa is something I always look forward to everyday.

God is Faithful!

Amen. That's the message of Paul to the Corinthians in the first reading today.



I amazed. Yesterday's reading was about not giving up and something else which struck me. Ey, up until now God is watching over me. Thank God for His grace that I am able to read His words. It is different. Somehow, I feel guided and I feel that someone is looking after me.



Look. I am caught in a big web of responsibilities. Tough. Trying to free my right hand only to find out that my other arm and legs are also stuck to this web. Much of the time, I just lay there thinking that one day I will be free but if I dont do anything then nothing will happen. Oh, maybe something more bad can happen. His words then are refreshing to me.



You can not really change people. IT is a personal decision. You can empower them. Uplift them. Say good things about them. Inspire them. Teach them. At the end of the plank, it is them who should jump and no one can do that for them. I have learned how to respect in a much deeper sense. Before, I get frustrated with people whom I was trying to push and do the things I've been telling them to do. I knew that I can't but deep inside it was like a war going on. I wanted to just bang his/her head to make him realize things. Of course, I can't.

Now it is different. If a person doesn't agree with my suggestion or opinion. I let him be without any resentment. Sometimes.. you will see potential in a person and those are the times that I feel compelled to let that person knows his/her inner strength and how he can improve it. Only to my dismay, that person doesnt believe he can pull it through. It is so clear that the person he is seeing is totally different from what I am seeing. Patience then. Be consistent and pray that one day they would learn to accept what the people around them are seeing.

Battling low self esteem is a fight that takes time and effort and no matter what the other say and regardless of their relationship, at the end it is a one on one battle. Oh. me I won it with God on my side. When I did, only then that I realized that it wasn't difficult at all. It was just really a decision to just to take one brave step to a renewed you. Eureka! That was it. I felt free. It was hardwork and one decision. That is to move.

A decision has to be made and I said YES to it.

No more. One day I know I have to decide and do the necessary change in my life. Accept that this is how it is. No more what if or only if and any of its variations or forms. No more delaying. I have been stuck in here for so long that I have started to enjoy it. Obviously, it isn't healthy and staying at a station without any intention to leave is a life half lived. Unless, that's the station you should embark. Even then you still have to leave the station and go to where you should be going. Not there. NO one should stay only at a station wasting precious moments. Life can not wait. We live the life. I am not sure I am making sense here but I have said it.

You know, like go to a coffee shop/bars with your friends or drink alone by yourself. Eventually, time will catch up and you have to go home. What ever deals you have to face in your house, you should face it.

Tomorrow. It will be a different day even if the Philippines today is engulf by thick clouds and endless raining. It doesn't matter. It will not count. Change is knocking. Not once but persistently from the day I opened and entered a door. Get out, it is shouting. Don't live in virtual comfort. An illusion of contentment. Get grip of reality. There is more. Board the train and go. Dont be late anymore. The ticket has been issued and it would cost you another gold if you let it slip away. While train may come but time would not stay still. Leave now while you can.

Tomorrow. A new song from my heart. A different ideology. I have to go even. There is no map to follow but just instructions on what I should be doing. Humble me Father. Humble my lazy heart and let me go back to they ways of a prudent man. I have achieved nothing yet. Following You should still be my biggest concern. I didn't earn a pass to be complacent but just a ticket for a new job. A new responsibility. A new life. That is what is all about. There is no use. I have been given a new pair of shoes but if I dont run it meant nothing at all.

I dont need to be running in full gear I only have to carry my legs one at a time. Make the necessary steps and learn once again how to walk and then fly. Soar. Again, nobody is here to remind me that. I am against myself. I am not align with my values and my attitude is slowly being corrupted by inefficiency. A decay that could soon be a cause of regret, disappointment, tears, fears and nightmares. I always remember what Stephen Covey has said, if you pick a stick at one end you will surely also get the other end of that stick. Part of life is choosing the direction of where we want to go, how we want to go there and what do we need to do. We know the answer. Always. That's the reason why at this age maybe I shouldn't wait for someone to tell me what I should be doing because at the back of mind, I know it.

There is no excuse. Only choices. Yesterdays have happened. People might have said something hurtful, unproductive or they were unkind. So be it. They should not made be into excuses. Like carrying posters in the streets and telling the whole world how unkind people/circumstances were to you. No one will listen and even if they do so what? What will you do with their sympathies? Justification of an efficient life? Loser. Loser really. I mean really really really.

No need of that. I remember the first time I drove my brand new car. After, years of being comfortable of having an AT car, I really got afraid when it was time to drive a much bigger and it was MT too. I was very nervous because I had to take it out from the warehouse during rush hour. Wow. I could have backed away and just maybe ask my brother to bring it home. I could also maybe let it stay at the warehouse and wait for the license plate. I could have given other excuses just not to drive it at that particular day. But hey, I was excited. It would be my first time to drive a car. It was also the first time in our family that someone was able to have brand new car (and a SUV at that). When I first saw my car, my jaw dropped. Wow. I swear, I could have embraced it if not for the people around me. I could have kissed it. I went inside and then with my stroke the engine roar into life. How sweet it was to hear and smell the freshness of a new car. Was I still worried? Nope. I took control. Yeah, I was still nervous but eventually I felt it wasn't difficult at all.

So tomorrow, I will start the engine and toot toot toot.. off I go to my next journey. I should be excited, I am going to VIENNA, AUSTRIA this October. :)

Be inspired

Let's say I climbed a mountain and I reached a point which happened to be my goal. I trained and worked hard to reach this peak and so I enjoyed being here. The view and everything and whew what a journey it had been. Life is good. Rewarding. But it shouldn't be over. This shouldn't be the goal yet but just a stepping stone. Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! how many stepping stones should be there in the first place? I guess the a better question is what is my goal in the first place. I read in a book (Tipping point) about this scenario.

I felt special when I still a Supervisor. You know doing things that were beyond my position. Knowing a lot which weren't expected of me. Then now, I am a Manager. Nope. There is no more feeling of being on top of my job. I have became ordinary because of the promotion. Get it? I mean when I was still in a rank below, I did things that made people say that I was ready to be a Manager. And now, it is just expected. Not that I am fishing for affirmation or what. I realize though that I should rise and perform. That's where my problem is right now.

Inspiration.

I think our soul must be connected to the things that we are doing or love to do. It should be our soul that should propel us to do things. Not just the heart and mind. Mind is the first level. Heart is the second and the soul is the most important level. In the soul level, it lets you face and overcome physical limitations and it overrides the negative feelings to let you succeed and proceed to what ever goal you have set in place. Hmmmmm.. People just talk about the heart and mind but I think now in my stage the sould is more applicable.

Have you ever heard a music that touch your soul so deep that makes you stay still for a while. It isn't your lips that is singing or your ears that are listening. This time, it is your soul. You dont want to move, you feel that it should last more and do not want it to end, you don't sing a long with it, you close your eyes and not really see anything but inside you something magical is happening. You try to smell it or touch it but can't because it is needed. It is living within you. It is a moment when you do not care what is happening outside, or if you have any concerns, or if you are tired. Just there in a moment. That my friend is your soul.

We all need that connection. How much experience/ecstacy it would be if your could commune with God. Wow! Perfect. Diba? Ok. I understand that it would be easier to achieve this kind of experience if you a lot some of your precious time for meditation. Yeah, maybe once a day or twice a week. All I think is that it is needed. It let's you see clearly, remove the clouds inside your mind. Just that and let your soul be free. Let it listen and sing and most importantly think.

Yeah, that's my opinion. We are busy everyday at work, weekends for the family and see it could lead you to a crowded street and eventually stress you out. Working with this kind of stress has a negative impact.

Inspiration. Where will get it though? I am struggling. I need to silence my self and hear.

Hillsong Manila!

I am just one of the 20,000 plus people who watched the concert of Hillsong at Araneta. Yet, I didn't feel insignificantat all. I felt special being in one big community regardless of backgrounds we were all there to worship God. A gathering so specially amazing because of the audience's responses. It was different. I mean, the concert wasn't marketed heavily at all. You would think that only a few knew about it. Nothing in the tv, radio, magazine and maybe just a little in the newspaper and yet it was very very very successful! Two and half hours of complete ecstacy. We were all worshiping God. Unbelievable and yet it happened and I was there to witness it.

You ask around who or what Hillsong is all about and you will receive blank faces. Yeah, only a few would know but there wow! Araneta was filled with so many worshippers! The best thing that ever happened. I am telling you, if you attend a "concert worship"especially if it is Hillsong I think you might not be that interested to attend a regular concert. Because here you scream, shout, dance, pray, sing not for the singers/band but for God.

I still belong after all. That's what I realized last night. What ever I have achieved shouldn't be a reason for me to stop searching and longing for Jesus. Oh, I have not achieved anything if it just created distance between me and God. Not. I am for God. I love God and I know He loves me more than what I have done and He will not allow me to wander far from Him. I know that and believe in how much He cares for me. Everyday. I've been deliquent in my prayers lately especially my evening prayers and yet He is still here. Jesus is so cool.

He is the reason and will always be the reason why I live. He is where I am. I am here with Him. I might not be able to be as perfect as I want it to be but He is. He will be there when I fall down and He will be the one lift me high. I am not afraid to look back at my life. Before maybe I was, I have so many regrets and resentments but now it is totally different. I see God. I see His footprints. I see how He changed everything and how He made sure that I will be back on the right path. No matter if I look at my past or my present or my future I see Him. There are moments that I ignore Him but at the end I still see Him. I remember that this is how I want to be... I've lost my copy of my vision and mission statement but I remember that more than anything else, I want to Jesus to rule over me. Have I achieved it? I guess I am still far. :) There is still so much things to learn. I guess He is yet done with me. I am still a child after all.

Big Boy Polo

I'm with my first date. My mommy. Enchanted Kingdom
Mom, Im big already. I can handle this ride.
Me, my Yaya and my stroller
Yes?
My crew.

Yeah. Cool.

My friend, Sofia
Polo the Hunk
I can act, you know

Let's get it on!

A different playing field. Upgrade. Just like in video games, in order for you to be more successful and win in the next level, you have to get some new tools, power, skills etc. Otherwise, it would tough to finish it or worse you will not even see the end.

Wow. The international roaming industry has changed so much since I started working. At first, it was just a matter of roll outs with new and happy roaming partners. Then came new technologies, then the alliances and now the rates game. Oh, the technology hasn't stopped yet. It just keeps on getting complicated. So many things to read.

This is precisely the reason why people should be trained as well. To cope and compete in this new game. Not only to learn from experience but maybe to acquire new skills through training. Pacquiao who is a great boxer no doubt but still he trains seriously whenever he has a fight. It pays off at the end.

I am not saying that we are not capable but as I've said it would help us be more efficient and effective in this highly competitive industry. Global.

I can't believe that I have this work. Really. I love it!!!! :) It is difficult and challenging but I enjoy it. Yeah, I spend extra hours working at home. Have not done that for years. I am not saying that I dont feel fear. I am not anxious. That it is all positive. Not. There are times when I want to quit and yes just be at home and spend the day not thinking about work. But c'mmon, this is perfectly where I want to be. I know there are a lot of things to improve. The problem is not with just work itself but I also encounter even with my own team and others. That's how dynamic everything is. Also, if you are not doing good (revenue wise), I understand that the more I will experience pressure and this moment is a perfect ground to learn about everything.

I am sure I have not experience yet the full force of this storm. It has just started. I should be mentally, emotionally and physically strong to arrive at the shore. I am. I still acknowledge God is with me.

1. Pray
2. Focus
3. Order
4. Courage
5. Fight

It is May!

As expected, I had an April rush. I can't believe that there are only two more days left before May kicks in (with a Holiday of course). I had so many activities that I hardly spent time in the office. All official activities of course. Am I lost with what am I supposed to do? A little bit. I am a little bit confuse. Tasks are all screaming inside my head. Start with me! what about me? When are you going to pay attention to me? Hey, you have forgoten your promised! I am urgent! I am important! Hahahahahahaha.. I learned that in order to stay sane, I must managed all of these demanding activities and tame them! How? Again, be organized!

I am happy to learn that if I want to excel in my difficult job there is only one important discipline I should do everyday of my life. Organize! Every day I must act if I dont want to get things out of control. I must always be in control. I am very well sure that this what the Ayalas Pangilinans, Gates', Buffet, Sy's are doing. Loving all the actions even if it is something difficult they find ways how to tame it and follow its command.

I like Ilocos. But it is not a place for me to go back year after year (unlike Boracay). I can stay there for a long period of time maybe still if you ask me if I want to go there again anytime soon? Nope. :) There is no love yet.

Yehey... May 1 is a Holiday!

As of today

I'm back. My first day in office after being away for around four days. And guess what? It is Friday today! Wohooooo!!! I am glad because I am still exhausted after attending the GSM AP in Cebu. Not too much sleep and a lot of meetings. Imagine, I was there since Saturday but I only had the time to relax a bit (two hours) last wednesday after my morning meeting with KTF. I checked out on that same day. It was ok. Today, aside from trying to catch up and be mentally prepared I still have to attend three meetings. 1:30pm with RSF for our OCSMS updates, 3:00pm with Verisign and then at 4:30pm with Wolfpac. I'm packed! But then again, it is Friday so it is not like I will have to face these and other things tomorrow. I have two days to enjoy my time with my family and even to organize myself. Right now, I am like recovering from a typhoon. There are a lot of loose ends that need to be fixed. Gee, then next week we are off to Ilocos for our team building. aaaaaaaaaa!!!!

I really love Shangri La Mactan. The best resort hotel for me. It is a home away from home. I wish I could bring my family there but maybe we should go to Boracay first. :)

I will share something about the GSM AP meeting in a different post maybe.

Mariel got her request. Cds from her fav bands in Korea. These are even CDs bought in Korea. Lucky her. Yeah, I was willing to look for them here in Manila of course. I am sure though that it would be difficult. The GSM AP helped a lot since my friend from Korea (Shawn) attended this event and he was the one who bought the cds. If I were Mariel, I am surely to be ecstatic about it. I mean it is like maybe owning my pair of Rockport which my mom bought in US. I love it! I could buy it hear but it is expensive that I would think once, twice or never even imagine to buy it myself. Or like what I want to have now, a Samsung laptop bag. It is around Php4.5K and I can't even convince myself to buy it. No matter how much I rationalize I am still hesitant to purchase one. Unless someone out there will buy it for me. :)

Ok. Time to Work again....

Something to say

The weekend was great. I enjoyed every minute of it especially bringing Polo to the Fun Ranch (where kids rule). I am happy to see how happy he was during the time we spent there. He was cooperative enough while his parents where looking for someting to buy in Tiendesitas. It wasn't planned actually. We only decided to visit the place because I was hoping to find the shoes in Tiendesitas, unfortunately I didn't find it. So hop we went to the Fun Ranch. First stop was the activitiy center where we let Polo and his Yaya to play there for 30min while we watched them have fun. Polo was walking and walking and "priceless" really. Then we tried teh airplane ride which he enjoyed like how he loves cars. There are a lot activities that happened afterward but I am too lazy now to share it. :)

Today, we are back to the corporate world. Tough day. It just a few hours old but my mind had been working since yesterday. I have to finish a lot so I would not have to think over and over these things. At least the GSM Asia Pacific will be next week already and it is one of my pressing tasks this week. Thanks so much to our Marketing Events people, they have managed to shrunk this big event into small pieces. I love Shangri La Mactan. I will not change what I have said before. For me, it is one of the best hotels in the world! The GSMAP will be held there and I will be in Shang from April 13 to April 16. Exciting but not so much anymore. It is really different if you have a family already. It changes everything. If they can join me then that would be the best scenario. But it is like I am not there yet but I am already longing to go home.

GSMAP preoccupies maybe 40% of my time because I can not give everything. I still have some businesses to handle. Crazy stuff. The Psalm reading for today inspires me to just move on because "HE is the ROCK of MY REFUGE. Whew!!! I hope they can stop giving me work for the meantime. Well, I am under His wings to Jesus will be the one to help me here. :) I dont want to stress out my self so much and I am sure God has this big plans on how to move these things. I will just listen and do my work and work. 100% I will give to Him. That's the only solution I can think of right now given the truck load of work I have right now.

I want to be fit

Josephine and tried exercising again. It just happened last Sunday. We arrived from Marikina then we decided on the spot to at least walk around the village for 30 min. We did and we had fun doing so except for Polo who probably was surprised by our disappearance. I jogged last Monday and then yesterday Josephine joined me. All of them at night. It was easier I guess. It is like if you want to do it, do it now. Of course, I will not exaggerate the result. I burnt calories for sure but I am sure it doesn't translate yet to losing pounds. No no no. I am just happy to be doing something about my physical well being and having to do it with my wife. What could be a better deal than that? It is even for free. You know, Josephine and I had been together for so many years already. We see each other more than the other couples I guess because we work in the same company. We eat lunch together here and it doesn't bother us. We go to work together and go home together. Jogging together is another activity and I like it because we still talk :)

We will take one day at a time. Exercising is a daily commitment so as eating healthy food. They always go together to remain healthy. I also am taking Fern C. Again, too early to say but for three(3) months of taking a capsule a day has maybe improved my resistance against flue and colds. I noticed like last year that I always get sick every single month. My clinic records can attest to that. That's depressing! Crazy. Something is wrong and something must be done. Fern C did wonders to me so far. God bless and hopefully I will have a healthy 2008. Same goes with the rest of the family.

I need to be healthy because my job is crazier than it was last year or a year before that. International Roaming business is a beast that can not be tamed but only managed. Sometimes, it looks like there is nothing would put us down then again its horn swagger to left and we get hit. Wow! Or sometimes this bull run endlessly wrecking havoc along the way. The only thing we could do is to manage the damage. But sometimes, we use its full strength to benefit from its power. Crazy, man. Fluctuating currencies, political situation, economic health, storms, holidays, price of oil (heheheheehehe but I am sure it indirectly affect us), realtionship with different partners of different backgrounds and culture, network quality, new technologies, fraudsters, alliances, US presidential elections, IRAQ crisis, Wow!!! see. too much factors. Exciting job isn't it? :) Pressure pressure.. I must be physically, mentally and most of all spiritually fit to handle this job. Yeah, that's international roaming for you.

Exercise is a must if I want to have a longer life. I still want to have enough energy to spend time with my dear boy, Polo. Especially now, that he demands more physical attention and I am sure it will increase as he grows.....We only just have begun.

Working. Backwards

It was time for me to leave the academic world and once and for all face and understand what others were seeing outside this comfortable home. Nope, I wasn't a professor or anything. I had a non-teaching position where I was given a chance to train student leaders of our school. Cool. Idealistic and then I was there. I had fun and was still so immature! My peer group was starting to share their corporate adventures and mis adventures while I can not offer anything but listen to their colorful stories.

Then one day I was out. I jumped and was optimistic given that I had a La Sallian education and I was exactly a fresh graduate. Internet recruitment at that time isn't a fad yet. I bought Manila Bulletin every Sunday, asked for referral and then did some walk-in application. Since I wasn't using email yet I had to wait for letters of interview or acceptance. I was positive that I would land a job in no time. After a month, two, three, four...... the enthusiam was starting to go down. I looked into my expensive pair of shoes ( i didnt know it was expensive) was starting to quit. It has holes on it soles. I've been around Makati, up and down the buildings. Then Pasig, Manila, even Southern Manila.... Negative. Either I didn't like the job or I wasn't fit. And being in the Academe for two years was not that advantageous for me.

Fund was low. Morale was low. Shoulders dropped. Restless night. I was already hesitant to ask money from my parents and yet I still had no job.Tough life. I found comfort in visiting the chapel at the end of the day. In there, I just rest and share my stories to God. I guess it was one of those moments that made me closer to God. I did. That was my consolation.

One day, I got a job offer from an Insurance Company. I was invited to report the following week. I still had an interview with another company and I went for it. My interview was with the Sales Director right away and I was applying for Sales Training. He asked something simple from me. He said, "Marvin, sell that condiminium to me" Whoa!!! I didnt have any experience in selling but I tried. Then he said, what I did was so bookish. I lack the emotion and I do not seem to believe in what I was saying. Oh no................. I don't need another lecture. He said something actually that changed my self perception. He said, he saw something in me. I have the potential and everything but I have to show it. There is no way, agents will buy my words if I myself do not believe in it. Thank you. (I actually met this guy in another company). Basta, because of him I started believing in myself. Slowly. I never had the chance to talk to him once again (after maybe two years).

I accepted the sales job in the insurance company because I said I wanted to experience what it is like to be one. Again, I persevered. I tried all the tricks I read and heard from others. I was able to sign some policies and I had the chance to sign with a very big one. I was focused to close that one even if it meant going to some unknown places which were very far from my office. Maybe I spent a month with them. I gave my best. I did so many things in that company. After six months though I wasn't accepted as a full time sales agent but they had a different plan for me. Oh no. I can't believe that I might lose another job. I didnt want to be there again (I failed to listen to the next part of the sentence).

An insurance client actually was impressed with me so she asked me if I wanted to join her team. Since I didn't get that my previous company had another plan for me I left them and joined this new company. The decision wasn't well accepted by everybody because they said that even non college graduates can get a job like that. I cant share to them that I actually prayed for it. Even I had a difficulty comprehending why I should accept the jon which was not really different from my previous one. Just different industry. But the Lord said yes, join them. I did.

In here, I met another mentor who taught me so much about dealing with clients and making proposal. I was able to close some accounts and I still struggled since it was still not easy. But I started getting the hang of it. Sales is not just about the people you know but everything boils down to perseverance, hard work and cultivating relationships. My Boss then was so happy about me that when he left which surprised me completely created confusion and a little bit anxiety. Not now. Of course there was nothing I could do.

Until maybe after a month, he called me and asked me for a meeting. When we met, he just asked me how I was doing and everything then out of the blue he said if I want to join him in his new job as a Sales Director of a new internet company. I prayed and then joined him.

In Worldroom.com, I met the best boss I ever had in my life until now. My Ninang, Tina Di Cicco. She of course like the others taught me about the work but most of all she said so many good things about me and for the first time I wasn't scared of myself. I mean, the wounds inflicted to me from so many emotional clashes with people close and not close to me were really devasting. I walked for years carrying these wounds. Then here she came. She didn't point out the wounds to me nor looked into my weakness but she treated me with dignity and looked into the person I have seen for quite awhile. She believed. I guess that was the difference. I was able to smile again and slowly regained my self esteem. It is really different if you meet someone (Mentor type) who will feed you with positive things and yeah really believes in you. She did. After a year, I dont know but I felt confident that when it was time for me to be interviewed here in SMART I was ready.

After two years with Tina, I was able to join SMART where I am working right now. This is a dream job come true. You know, the scope is international and being able to travel the world and meet people. I am still learning and really am looking for another mentor who can help me to move further. It is still open. I am sure the Lord will send another Angel to help me here.

Being a Global Player

I am now thinking of several important action steps for my job. Tough! I am telling you. It is consuming all the cells of my brain. My heart would like to raise a white flag with the pressure he is feeling now but my mind is tougher! This year, the Lord message for me is to face all obstacles/challenges head on! No fear shall make me bow down to anything or anyone. I will face with if faith like how David did it when confronted with the mighty giant Goliath. Right now, I have several Goliaths and there is a new one bigger than the rest. Literally. Who am I but a small soldier in this company. Yet, I will not fail the Lord. He is my strength and the source of my strategies.

Negotiation to a multicultural environment which involves different races from Americans, Asians, Europeans, Arabs to Indians... name it and I have dealt on them in this work. What's my experience? Hahahahahahahahahahaha.. I have but a slingshot on my hand. Some of them are wearing protective helmets, shields, and armored plates... name it they have it. But I have the Lord God with me. I also know that these are not enemies but Ally that I must learn how to earn their side. To convince them that we are actually partners. That is what negotiation is all about. It isn't a yes or a no but it is about discussing the middle ground and working on how we cultivate that common ground without compromising each others interest. Now, there is someone who didn't play fair. He unleashed a devastating blow like a lion in the dark striking me almost to death then when I faced him he said... oh let's work on for a WIN/WIN solution!!! WHAT???!!!!! Win/win??!!! Do you really know what exactly it means? Crap. Ok. Working on this isn't about restoring some pride or anything. This is about getting both Parties in a negotiation table once again but not bowing down to his terms. Good thing I know my cards. I am willing to share it but not by selling short of my self. Get it? Negotiation at its finest. Am I afraid/scared? Yes maybe but in FAITH I will hit him in his head.

Different strokes for different folks. Literally. Sometimes the other party is no nice (mostly Asian) and you should read between the lines because you are not sure if if his yes and smile is really is a Yes or what... you have to observe his body language, tone of his voice, and maybe his eyes and you have to draw it out from him and clarify and clarify... but Asians are tougher that you think. Hidden dragon. That's what I like about being an Asian and for westerners are their bravery and how they love to play risk. Combine them both then there you go. You can now go anywhere.

I have met someone like that. An Australian. He listen like what Asian wants but persistent and courageous like what westerners are. I can not say he is soft because he is not. He actually just got promoted. This means that what he is doing is definitely working for him. Good for him. I am still new despite my experience in Global Negotiation but I can see now. Clearer than before. I have made mistakes and sadly no one is ready to point it out to me but fortunately I've seen them.

Generally, I am excited that I am participating in this kind of activity. A dream come true. I want to enter this world then here I am. Baptism of fire ika nga. Though, I have been exposed in international environments for several years but this is the peak. I am excited. God told me to face it then I shall face like a little boy David who grew to become one of the best Kings ever to live on earth.

Lord, give me courage to face the known and the unknown. Let me thrust my self with your wisdom and not but my foolishness. It is not about fighting but about winning your enemies. I come not to be converted but for them to respect and recognize me. I need a strength of a thousand lion but working in wisdom is better than positioning myself as someone powerful. I want to be powerful silently and for them to see at the end that this strength comes from you and not from me. Let me do this not to gloriy God and bring honor to Him.

I worship the Lord

Your assuring voice is a music to my heart

It knows no other but everyday it waits for you

Every word is a beautiful note that calms my soul

Speak to me and let me be free

Say to me what you want for me
I will follow you even if my strength fails me
Because you will carry me to the heaven above
I am lost in this world without You

Stay with me forever

Even if at times when I do not look for you

I am but weak Father.

Let your mercy see beyond my frailties

Lord, at the end of the day

It is still you I am waiting to be with

It is still your voice that lets me fall asleep

Just you Jesus in my heart

Let me praise you in the morning
Let me give you thanks before I close my eyes
Tomorrow will wait but my praise will not
You set my heart on fire! I will bless your name.

Why should wait for the sun to rise?

but in my darkness you are still there

You are the lighthouse in the fiercest of storms

A refuge to everyone who needs to rest

Your love for me is more than I could comprehend or will ever know

Not in this world when my heart is preoccupied

But in Heaven when it can embrace all the love you have for me

I will wait Father but for now I rejoice in your presence