Being a Global Player

I am now thinking of several important action steps for my job. Tough! I am telling you. It is consuming all the cells of my brain. My heart would like to raise a white flag with the pressure he is feeling now but my mind is tougher! This year, the Lord message for me is to face all obstacles/challenges head on! No fear shall make me bow down to anything or anyone. I will face with if faith like how David did it when confronted with the mighty giant Goliath. Right now, I have several Goliaths and there is a new one bigger than the rest. Literally. Who am I but a small soldier in this company. Yet, I will not fail the Lord. He is my strength and the source of my strategies.

Negotiation to a multicultural environment which involves different races from Americans, Asians, Europeans, Arabs to Indians... name it and I have dealt on them in this work. What's my experience? Hahahahahahahahahahaha.. I have but a slingshot on my hand. Some of them are wearing protective helmets, shields, and armored plates... name it they have it. But I have the Lord God with me. I also know that these are not enemies but Ally that I must learn how to earn their side. To convince them that we are actually partners. That is what negotiation is all about. It isn't a yes or a no but it is about discussing the middle ground and working on how we cultivate that common ground without compromising each others interest. Now, there is someone who didn't play fair. He unleashed a devastating blow like a lion in the dark striking me almost to death then when I faced him he said... oh let's work on for a WIN/WIN solution!!! WHAT???!!!!! Win/win??!!! Do you really know what exactly it means? Crap. Ok. Working on this isn't about restoring some pride or anything. This is about getting both Parties in a negotiation table once again but not bowing down to his terms. Good thing I know my cards. I am willing to share it but not by selling short of my self. Get it? Negotiation at its finest. Am I afraid/scared? Yes maybe but in FAITH I will hit him in his head.

Different strokes for different folks. Literally. Sometimes the other party is no nice (mostly Asian) and you should read between the lines because you are not sure if if his yes and smile is really is a Yes or what... you have to observe his body language, tone of his voice, and maybe his eyes and you have to draw it out from him and clarify and clarify... but Asians are tougher that you think. Hidden dragon. That's what I like about being an Asian and for westerners are their bravery and how they love to play risk. Combine them both then there you go. You can now go anywhere.

I have met someone like that. An Australian. He listen like what Asian wants but persistent and courageous like what westerners are. I can not say he is soft because he is not. He actually just got promoted. This means that what he is doing is definitely working for him. Good for him. I am still new despite my experience in Global Negotiation but I can see now. Clearer than before. I have made mistakes and sadly no one is ready to point it out to me but fortunately I've seen them.

Generally, I am excited that I am participating in this kind of activity. A dream come true. I want to enter this world then here I am. Baptism of fire ika nga. Though, I have been exposed in international environments for several years but this is the peak. I am excited. God told me to face it then I shall face like a little boy David who grew to become one of the best Kings ever to live on earth.

Lord, give me courage to face the known and the unknown. Let me thrust my self with your wisdom and not but my foolishness. It is not about fighting but about winning your enemies. I come not to be converted but for them to respect and recognize me. I need a strength of a thousand lion but working in wisdom is better than positioning myself as someone powerful. I want to be powerful silently and for them to see at the end that this strength comes from you and not from me. Let me do this not to gloriy God and bring honor to Him.

I worship the Lord

Your assuring voice is a music to my heart

It knows no other but everyday it waits for you

Every word is a beautiful note that calms my soul

Speak to me and let me be free

Say to me what you want for me
I will follow you even if my strength fails me
Because you will carry me to the heaven above
I am lost in this world without You

Stay with me forever

Even if at times when I do not look for you

I am but weak Father.

Let your mercy see beyond my frailties

Lord, at the end of the day

It is still you I am waiting to be with

It is still your voice that lets me fall asleep

Just you Jesus in my heart

Let me praise you in the morning
Let me give you thanks before I close my eyes
Tomorrow will wait but my praise will not
You set my heart on fire! I will bless your name.

Why should wait for the sun to rise?

but in my darkness you are still there

You are the lighthouse in the fiercest of storms

A refuge to everyone who needs to rest

Your love for me is more than I could comprehend or will ever know

Not in this world when my heart is preoccupied

But in Heaven when it can embrace all the love you have for me

I will wait Father but for now I rejoice in your presence

Trying a poem once more

I bring myself near to your heart
Not knowing if you will say yes or not
I am not afraid if you will ignore or if you reject me
Love is not that

I will stand here and wait for you
A nod or a tight embrace are not so different
Either would mean a lot to me
I will treasure them

When you cry, I can be your shoulder
Let your tears fall down and you shouldn't be worried
I will stay until you can stand on your own
I love you more

Hear me in the silence of your night
I have a gentle voice to soothe your aching heart
Let me love you. Allow me to be with you
Everyday of your life.

I can do that for you and no one can take that away from me
I love you more. I love you more.
Let me show you where you heart belongs
I will take care of it day and night

I love you more

Noise at 4am

A disastrous morning. Waking up at 4am forcibly isn't a greeting that is welcomed by anyone. Not in this sleepy planet. Jaz for some strange reasons got locked out and wasn't able to enter her room after going to the rest room. She knocked on our door asking for a spare key (which we fortunately were able to duplicate due to laziness to give instructions). The keys were inside the car and I let her get it. Suddenly, lo and behold, the whole garage came to life. The car alarm was triggered. Noise at 4am. Bummer. When I felt that she can't handle it I had no choice but to stand up. There she was with a dazed look. I took the car keys from her and it was silent after I turned off the alarm. Unfortunately, it didnt stop there. The dog gave his all. Venting it out maybe he had waited for this opportunity to happen. Giving him reasons to just bark as loud as he can! He did for maybe 15 minutes straight! I just can imagine him grinning at what he was doing. Ngiting Aso. He got tired but still I heard him bark once in a while. I'm sure that the other houses were awaken by that bastard dog. Well. He enjoyed doing it so I am happy for him. There you go. I got my sleep back maybe at 5am already. I still managed to dream though.

April will be a very busy month for me. Not everything is about work but still it would be tiring to travel almost every week.

April 3 to 4: Strat Plan (Tagaytay)

April 13 to 16: GSMAP (Mactan-Cebu)

April 19: EK with Family

April 24 to 26: TCP (Fort Ilocandia)

Good luck.

Latest pictures-Caylabne Adventures

Family discussion
Driving is quite hard
Watch out for the sandcastle destroyer!!!
Wondering what's up there
Just horsing around

Polo so happy with a pretty girl beside him.
Polo so happy being with his original girlfriend
Dining with Mom and Pop

Wanting to be someone else or something

During our weekend vacation I had an opportunity to spend more than five (5) hours just being by myself fishing. I just caught two fishes. Nothing to brag about or make it a topic with the boys. There weren't any fish there. I never felt their presence and I waited for hours just for some to maybe accidentaly pass by my hook. None. Maybe I was the fish who accidentally passed by God's presence. Why? Because I spent the free time thinking of my life and God. I need Him still. I realized that it is a challenge to recognize him when everything is doing fine in one's life than when you are confronted with a lot of trials. Still I realized I need Him. Not less. I want Jesus in my life, forever!

I asked my self what I fear most now. First is my original fear that one day I might just wake up not without Jesus by my side. Not that He has left me but more on me leading my life without Him and it is scarry because I dont know. How on earth will I move and to think that I will handle all these problems by myself? That's suicide! I love Jesus before and I still love him now. I do not want that to change. Clear. Second, I guess I am worried about losing Polo. Wow! That would be tough. Diba? I mean basta it is different. Same with losing my wife. AAAAAAhhhhhh... I cant bear even thinking about it. So I guess only God can assure me that everything will be ok.

I guess these are the fears that scare me the most. The others I know are more manageable.

I saw an eagle just flying around the mountain. He is so free. No cares in the world. He is free. I looked at this creature and wonder how his life is. I am sure he also has his own worries and challenges and observing him for just an hour would not be enough to define him.

I realized that I need to nourish my relationship with God this year. Not by own strength but by His grace. With Him, everything will be ok. With Him, I can soar like an eagle. With Him, I am free.

Another new year. Happy Easter

The joy of being a Manager isn't as joyous as it seems. It is not a time of full celebration when you can rest on one's accomplishment. On just sitting back and enjoying the scene. It isn't at all. It means working and owning the business. Treating it as yours and then reporting the figures to the shareholders. What it means? Pressure to no end. If you are doing nothing then something is definitely wrong. If you are doing something but it isnt progressing as you want it to be then still it is your responsibility because it would appear that you are not doing anything. Who said that you can put your legs on the table and let things unravel before your eyes. no no no... I guess being a Manager means that you have to apply everything that you have learned. You know thigns that seemed useless before but now it is something important already. Yeah, like managing stress. Definitely, this is very challenging, Of course, there are now perks that helps me cope with the stresses of being in this position.

How will I react or respond to this? How else??? Above every skill, talent, strategy etc., I acknowledge my unworthiness. I do not know anything except to follow the guidance of God. That's the first step I realized that I should continue doing. Recognizing my need to be with God and not be foolish to move on without him. That would endanger my life. Big time. Second. Study and study. I think learning wouldnt and shouldnt stop regardless what I have accomplish. I should always look for ways how to improve not only with my job but in other aspect of my life as well. There is an Ocean of learning that I can swim on forever. Third. Persevere. For sure, there will be difficulties not only with projects but about working. I mean it gets tiring sometimes. No where to go but to persevere. Fourth. Celebrate. Create time to enjoy the blessings I receive. But before I could even celebrate I should see the blessings. This would help me greatly on how to manage pressure and stress. Fifth. Link my work to its true meaning. I work not for the sake of working. I work not for my self only. I work for my Family.

Bucket list?

Something has happened. It is Easter. 1.36am. I realized that I still wish to pursue somethings in my life. Do you think I have given up living on an industrialized/first world country? The answer is a big loud NO! Where? When? How? Nothing is clear but it seems that I still want it to happen.

Studying is also part of that list. I want to STUDY! I dont know why? But I can feel that there is a thirst within me. Something that has to do with GLOBAL Business. I want to learn how to PLAY a piano. I also want to study another LANGUAGE.

See the world but not on a long period of time unless I am with my family.

Community service. I need to do something. It seemed that when I had nothing, it was easier to serve. It is true and maybe it just normal. But there it is in my heart. A desire of wanting to serve.

The other night I realized that 2007 was the lowest spiritual focus I had in recent years. It is different and yeah there is still a calling for me to respond to. HOW on earth will I survive this world without HIS guidance. My work has reached a stressful level. Highest. IT is complicated. I need a rest!!! This Holy Week rest isn't enough.

Going back to my first wish. New Zealand, Australia,Canada, Switzerland, Sweden and US are my targets and the first three are the ones I wish to explore on.

Got to rest now. Im and tired and sleepy.

MoonVille

Welcome to a new house and a new environment. I will take it. It is a lot better than where we were before. How on earth were we able to hide all those possession under one roof or under own room even. Too many things that aren't really useful for us. I am not certainly a fan of keeping unused items over a long period of time. Our new car has finally tasted its own garage and can be protected from heat and rain. You can walk blindly knowing that nothing could happen to you because it is a guarded village within a guarded village. That's how tight it is. There is somehow a sense of security. Polo has more room to move around in and out of the house. He has the second floor to explore as well. Jaz has her own room as well. Angel will have a chance to upgrade her house but she has to wait.

As for us, the little simple Agustin Family of three (3) :), well we have to contend still being with my in laws with all its pros and cons. Embracing and learning as much as we can. While, our room didnt really expanded like I envisioned it to be. You know like a bed of Polo could fit and still leaving us enough space to breathe. I guess it isn't time yet for that. He is still a baby and doesnt need his own bed yet. We were able to rid of the eye sores and at least I can relax as I close my eyes at night. Before I can not but help see our shoes and can't believe that we are sleeping with those shoes around. I mean it is so dirty. Then stacks and stacks of photoalbums, files, papers, bags, and what have you. The aircon was too noisy and the window was so dusty. You wouldn't even mind keeping those windows closed because there werent anything to see there except water tank and containers. Can you picture it? Nothing worth sharing about. Nothing. Our exp-room was so cluttered but Josephine and I then now Polo were able to adjust to it.

Aaaahhh this brings to appreciating what we have now and never mind the other unwanted or those that are not part of our wish list. Our new rooom. We still have the same bed (and I thought it will be upgraded but ok I feel it is ok since the new was bigger than what our room can accommodate). NO MORE SHOES around!!!! They are outside at last!!! The walls are clean that I do not mind putting any wall decor on it. I mean it looks clean and against our lamps it generates a soothing and relaxing atmosphere. We got rid of some stuff that we no longer find satisfaction having them. I can breathe. Finally, a clean room. We are not yet finish since we plan to make it more comfortable and cleaner I guess. I can open my windows as well. Clean air. A project garden and a view of street. No more crappy walls or noisy neighbor's helpers. Yeah, so far I am happy. I also like the fact that is nearer to the main road unlike before that it takes maybe 10 to 15 minutes to reach the main road from the house. Oh, the rest room is also great. Not that beautiful but it can be improved. At least it isn't as slimy, hairy and dirty like the one we had. What else? Hmmmmmm... yeah, water. We now have a steady supply of water and not at the mercy of those tankers. In long holidays, we do not have to worry of running out of water for several days. Cool. These are the good ones.

And now for the challenges. First, we are still living with my in-laws. One thing that I have to swallow is that I have to adjust and adapt. There is no way that I could "own" the place. It is humbling and I know I have to wait patiently for our time to have our own. Yes, of course we can afford now to rent or even own a place but I guess it isn't the right time. I want prepfer to wait and not compromise our needs and wants. When opportunity knocks then I will open the. But now, I would wait before pounding on this goal. I have to bit my lips at times for sure. I also want to be a gentleman in handling this situation. Someday, we will appreciate going through this like any other experiences we had. For now, maybe we should focus more on how to handle our finances better. On planning what we wish to become. And of course looking forward to provide the needs of our son. I am just worried about electricity bill. I dont want to pay for another PHP10k plus worth of electricity. It would be a waste. All are using then all should contribute accordingly.

So off we go to a new life. Here we are 2008.

Differently

It could not be a far fetched idea that all Government's project are covered with corruption. So discouraging. Imagine the taxes we pay are high enough and still these people have the balls to do make this way. Wow! Unbelievable.

I do not know what they are thinking and why they do it. I am sure not all are corrupt but it seems that majority of the leaders are. Politics here is so dirty. I am sure even in other parts of the world but Philippines can be compared to countries lower than our economic status. We are a developing country and we can not say that we are lagging so much from the developed countries. Because what they can do, we can do as well. Sigh. We vote for people hoping they can make a difference. Not for me or to the other middle class people but maybe for the underprivileged, indigent, the poor. I am a college graduate and for sure those who were able to get a college diploma would at least have a chance to do something. But the poor are getting poorer and yet our government are taking advantage of their lack of knowledge, information. Hard to believe. But it is happening. Sigh.

Let's discuss something else.

A boyfriend called it quits after four (4) years of being a couple. Reasons are vague and yet he still calls her and even say sweet nothings. If given a chance he would still see her and act as if nothing has been decided. And yet at the end of the day there is no commitment and the guy would say that he wishes that life could be like this.......

Something is definitely wrong. A guy who wouldn't want to commit is definitely someone who has not decided whether he wants to be with you forever. Yeah, he has things to do, accomplish etc., so the relationship is not on top of his agenda. Cool. But if I were you do not treat him as if he is your boyfriend already unless you also just want to play along. You can be friends or even good friends but that's about it. Never be intimate with him or hope that one day he will say in your face the words you are wanting to hear. Duh. No commitment with him? then be open with other guys. Date and get to know others instead of sulking and letting the world know how you were maltreated and unfair it is. Yes, I agree it is unfair but if you are not doing anything at all then you probably also like what is happening. C'mmon. Wake up! If he is ready then he will speak up. If he really likes you then he would know the risk of losing you to someone else if he doesnt do anything. You have the right to be happy. Your happiness shouldnt be tied to his or anyone's plans. Because you are not a plan or a goal. You are a person and you have to right to be free. If you decide to let go of him then he should without bitterness. Be free and see the world in a different perspective. You do not need anyone to make you complete. By yourself you are already complete and maybe finding another person to share this completeness is satisfying but not a requirement for your happiness. Blessed are you for being alive in this troubled world. Blessed are you to find someone who can respect your individuality.

What to do if he keeps on showing up on your door and continues to send "kakakilig' text messages?

Get REAL!!! and confront him. Ask him point blank what is he up to. What is his intention? What is he doing? If he continues to ask you about your plans for the day, who you've been with? you had lunch with? You have to right not to tell him the details especially if you are sensing any tension. Be free, I say.

Hahahahaahahahaha.... let me see.. i will read a newspaper or magazine concerning people's lives then I will answer it here in my blog. hahahahaha

What's next?

Persistence doesn't know no end. So does learning and re-learning, discipline, humility, patience and then hope and faith. You know.... you want to practice these values only if you have hope. Do you want to excel? Then remember these simple values. It will lead you somewhere definitely. Beyond where you are right now. Definitely again. Never stop. Do not declare, "Finally, I am here!" that would be the end and it would be harder to get up in the morning realizing that you have achieved already what you always want. The thirst for more should always be there. I am not saying be greedy but against just learning to move forward after achieving something. Why am I saying this? For my own sake. :) Like, should I rest now that I am a step higher? There are more things to look forward to. The fuel of my engine now is different from what it used to be. I used up all when I push hard the gas pedal during my last race. I am in a pit now. Checking, evaluating but also planning for another race. Last week, I got tired really tired. I was stressed to the max. I got scared and that was when I thought about dying. Yeah, I was that stresed. Anyhow. Life goes on. Career goes on. Marriage goes on. Polo grows up. Finances should be managed on a daily basis. Waking up early in the morning is still a struggle. Finding time to exercise is also a challenge that needs to be faced. Get my point!

I get back again to great leaders. How do they manage to accomplish so much when we all have 24 hrs for all our activities. Imagine being a CEO, Chairman, President, Bussinesman., and what have you. Even newscaster. Working in the morning tv and still seeing them in the evening. Gee... where do they get all the energy and how do they manage their personal relationships without letting their loved ones be astray? WOW!

I am just a simple manager, simple family, simply needs so I am very far from their where they are playing. Do I want to be in their playing field? Why now? How in the world can I do it though? I am turning 35 yrs old and maybe have used up half of my life. The next 35 will not be any shorter or slower. It will still be fast. I already made my 2008 plans but I guess I (and Josephine) should look into the future and start visualising together.

What's next?

All in a day's work

It isn't over yet. There are still too many goals to meet, a lot of activities waiting for us to participate into and service, service, service... Yeah, life is rich with things to do. It won't stop and it shouldn't. There are nights when I think about death maybe because right now I do not want it to happen. Unlike maybe when I was younger, it seemed it was ok then. But now?!!! Nope. It saddens me to think that my wife will raise Polo without me and it brings me to tear to imagine Polo not really getting to know me more. Yeah, right now if God permits, please let me leave until I see my children's children. What's good about it is maybe it led me to cautious about my present state of health. My father got his double bypass surgery at his thirties and in a couple of months now I would be in my mid-30's. Heart problem and maybe diabetes. These two are the ones I should always be careful of. I'm watching my weight as well. The highest I got was maybe 165 to 170lbs. My dad reach somewhered 180lbs. I do not want to even exceed 160lbs. That's where I am now. My target is 155lbs to 150lbs.

I got so tired last week and I really felt stressed and fatigue(d?). It lingered until this week which made me to decide to just take a rest yesterday. Why is it when it is time to work, it takes effort to stand up but when you know that it is a rest day it harded even to stay on bed? It is like given a million bucks which you can use in anyway you want to. Hard to figure out what to do. It got me excited so I woke up earlier and really not knowing what will I do for the day. Haahahahahahaha... weird. I end up watching a movie (Vantage Point - a great one) while eating Wendy's burger, grocery even if it isn't the time yet (though I find it really therapheutic), I had my car waxed after thinking about for a couple of weeks already, a good massage then I went home to play with Polo. See.. no additional sleep but it energized me. Sleep isn't really jsut the answer to a tired body. Find other activities that could relieved the stress out of your body.

My work. Too much and too hard to manage and control. More difficult that it was last year. Not because I am a manager now but it seems like there are just coming without end. Aaaaaaaaargggghhhh.... The answer of course is discipline, order, time management and lots of prayers. :)

Whew! One year of parenting and loving it!

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A lot of people say that being a parent is extra challenging. It saps away everything from energy to the last coins in your pocket. Yeah, I agree though sometimes they fail to share the joys of being parents. Here's one picture that I guess captures why we feel so blessed having Polo.



We are so happy seeing our son always smiling. He has his tantrums from time to time which makes him normal. : ) Over all Polo smiles more than he is crying or anything.

Going back to parenting. One year. That's not enough to say that we've mastered anything. Nope. If we are in the military we are still in the lower ranks, Privates! Salute. I understand that it is a lifetime commitment without rest or until I rest in peace. hahahahaha. No VL or anything. Hard work all the time. But being a full time Daddy is the best job on the planet. Rank #1 of all time. See that smile on Polo's face. That's our compensation our reward our medal. I speak maybe for all parents out there. We always want our child/ren to be happy. Always.

Polo got sick maybe four times in his first year. The last two I guess were not worrisome but the first two really stirred fear in us especially when he had to be tested for denque and the doctors had to get a sample of his blood. We like his Pedia Doctor. Doc Joey. For us, He is the best out there. He took care of Polo's medical needs and I guess his wellbeing. Kaya at the end of Polo's med check and to hear him say that Polo is a well baby. Another medal for us. Also, Josephine deserves to have a gold medal because until now she is breastfeeding our little boy. That's shows her devotion and dedication to make sure that Polo only gets the best. I know it isn't easy. To see her doing it for a year is made me just love her even more. Salute.

Hmmmm... if Josephine and I are going to give rewards then Mommy Annie deserves to get the highest honor. She never blinked in taking care of Polo even if it caused her back aches. Right now, she can no longer carry Polo but still her dedication is still there. Then I guess we also commend Princess for being Polo's favorite Tita. She has this knack for making Polo laugh. It so unique that not even I can compete with her.

We are now looking forward for another year. We know that the package remains the same. Challenging but another level of fun. It is truly a blessing to love Polo and to take care of him.