During our weekend vacation I had an opportunity to spend more than five (5) hours just being by myself fishing. I just caught two fishes. Nothing to brag about or make it a topic with the boys. There weren't any fish there. I never felt their presence and I waited for hours just for some to maybe accidentaly pass by my hook. None. Maybe I was the fish who accidentally passed by God's presence. Why? Because I spent the free time thinking of my life and God. I need Him still. I realized that it is a challenge to recognize him when everything is doing fine in one's life than when you are confronted with a lot of trials. Still I realized I need Him. Not less. I want Jesus in my life, forever!
I asked my self what I fear most now. First is my original fear that one day I might just wake up not without Jesus by my side. Not that He has left me but more on me leading my life without Him and it is scarry because I dont know. How on earth will I move and to think that I will handle all these problems by myself? That's suicide! I love Jesus before and I still love him now. I do not want that to change. Clear. Second, I guess I am worried about losing Polo. Wow! That would be tough. Diba? I mean basta it is different. Same with losing my wife. AAAAAAhhhhhh... I cant bear even thinking about it. So I guess only God can assure me that everything will be ok.
I guess these are the fears that scare me the most. The others I know are more manageable.
I saw an eagle just flying around the mountain. He is so free. No cares in the world. He is free. I looked at this creature and wonder how his life is. I am sure he also has his own worries and challenges and observing him for just an hour would not be enough to define him.
I realized that I need to nourish my relationship with God this year. Not by own strength but by His grace. With Him, everything will be ok. With Him, I can soar like an eagle. With Him, I am free.
1 comment:
magfishing din kaya ako para marelax?
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